Show A prominent so athern statesman says that last summer he was mak ing a horseback trip through the northern part of alabama when he came on a negro cabin the sounds issuing from which gave evidence of an extra ord nary commotion within shouts and yells of terror succeeded each other so rapidly that the traveler hastened to ascertain the ca ise of the trouble As the rider drew rein before the door half a dozen ragged ran out all but one of them were screaming and crying at the tops of their voices while the odd one as merry as the others were sad began tumbling cartwheels and standing on his head at this moment a man evidently the head of the household appeared in the doorway in answer to the travelers inquiries the darky vouchsafed the following explanation of the mystery yo see sah dis is barf day indicating the whose antics have been referred to now ise powerful hard up es at present an am t got no money to celebrate an it es bruk me all up to see de res habin jes as much tun on as moses was habin disselt times bein hard de only thing I 1 could see was to give all de res a aickin an dat kinder raises moses up over de others N Y times HIS prescription the fair one and what do yon take when you have a cold captain 7 the captain about five pocket handkerchiefs a day miss just like a man he sang A sailor s life tor me arousing the whole flat then he had a fit because his wife purchased a sa lor hat houston post HOW HE KNEW have you ever had any experience in handling high grade pottery 9 asked the importer of an applicant tor a situation no sir replied the ai pi cant but I 1 can do the work all right suppose said the merchant you should accidentally break a valuable vase what would you doa I 1 would put it together carefully replied the job seeker and set it where a wealthy customer would be sure to knock it to pieces again consider yourself engaged said the merchant and now tell me where you got on to that trick of the trade A few years ago answered the other I 1 was in the wealthy customer RIGHT PLACE where can I 1 get good quarters about herec well you might try si frisbee s general store si ant never been stuck with a counterfeit since he s been in business conal acting I 1 hear the new rector highly praised some say he doean doesn t speak from the heart on the contrary I 1 am assured that his chest tones leave nothing to be desired puck quant ty not ty church what do ou think of your wife s voice since she took music les gotham it s no better but there seems to u more of it yonkers statesman their sl beet iron undershirts stuck not such joy transcends all r ches nd cerp rat on made them not stick to the cast iron breed ea houston post the giraffe rowing his tailor what do you mean by making me a pair ot trousers with only one leg in ema A sure thing pred action our sorrows beep 1 all year TO en ice la cheap coal w 1 be dear ash agton star HIS LITTLE JOKE when the big bronzed husband tim idly dipped his spoon in a tiny saucer ot breakfast food the little wife be came alarmed why henry she said uneasily you told me that camping trip would give you a good appetite well it did my dear assured henry but but you said you would have an appetite 1 ke a horse and here you sit only eating a wee bit of oats weller that s the kind of an ap petite a doroe has isn t it dear did you ever hear of a horse eating beef and the big bronzed man put on bis hat and grinned to himself all the way down to the office chicago dally diews worst ever say remarked the theatrical man ager your acting last night was the limit why sir what do you meana demanded the newly engaged star well answered the manager here are a dozen letters I 1 received from deadheads this morning demanding that their names be erased from the tree list chicago dally news NOT ALL ALIKE enthusiastic golfer when you know that a man is a devotee of golf ou can be absolutely certain of his mental caliber and be assured plain man oh come I 1 wouldn t say that I 1 don t doubt that some men play golf who are really quite sens ble cincinnati enquirer not always he paid his el ephone 11 to day and 1 s curses are loud and deep at the maker of maxims who used to say talk Is cheap cleveland leader then see yes child the future may seem rose tinted and beautiful and full 0 joy to you now but wait oh auntie wait for tell mea till you get your feet into a tight pair of shoes houston pot merely noise senator what do you suppose the wild waves are sayings asked the sweet thing at the seashore not a thing replied senator bad ger they aie like lots of people they make lots of noise but don t say much milwaukee sentinel her costume D d you see her bathing at the seashore 9 yes how was she dressed 7 mostly in tan milwaukee sen tinel self esteem druggist huh you seem to think yoi are the boss of this establish ant new alert oh no ir druggist then why do you talk like a blooming idiots ciago dally news |