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Show ST. GEORGE www.thespectrum.com — The Spectrum CARTER e Continued from pg. 2 throwing my hat into the ring. My personal credo is to never put anything off until tomorrow — if] can avoid it all together. This week's column is something I've putting off for a long time — but I can avoid it no longer. What the world needs: now is not just a superhero — but a gaggle of superheroes with assorted super . powers. Here is my own personal list of superheroes that I feel the world desper‘ ately needs today. Note to reader: This list popped into my mind in no particular ordet — your’ own personal list of needed superheroes may vary. The first superhero needed I would call “Captain Underpants” As a superhero, Captain Underpants’ job would be to visit public locations and hike the pants of any and all people whose underwear is visible (without them being in possession of a valid plumber’s ID). Another superhero that the world desperately needs today is “Paddle Man”. Paddle man would be an enigmatic superhero who would appear at high schools and middle schools to provide attitude adjustments to students lacking discipline. Point of fact: “Paddle Man” actually existed in my high school and was a NEIGHBORHOODS tions. Unfortunately no one aspires to the position of Rectal Cranial Man. This is because Rectal Cranial Man would be the busiest of all the superheroes — as we all come into contact with people on a daily basis that could use a good throttling by Rectal Cranial Man. In addition to his regular superhero duties, often Rectal Cranial Man would be called upon to team up with other superheroes like Politician Man, to more effectively make the world a safer and better place. I know what you are probably thinking... What the world really needs right now is a superhero named “Blathering Columnist Man” — Fortunately for Ed & me, no such superhero exists. else — like paying attention to the road while they are driving. When CPM catches a “Cell-Perp” he would use his super powers to strategi- cally place the offender's cell phone in a location that would serve as a graphic reminder to all that it’s unsafe to talk on your cell phone while driving. Politician Man is another superhero whose skills are definitely needed. Politician major factor in preserving peace and order not just in PE Classes, but in the school overall. I was often kept in line by simply observing other students being brought to justice by Paddle Man. man would dress up in a Another superhero that I would personally like to suit and visit public servants who recklessly spend our money or perhaps talk out of both sides of their mouth. Politician man would have identical powers to “IRS Man’ when it comes to ‘inciting fear. Unfortunately, ‘more than one Politician Man would be needed to keep up with crime in the’ political arena. The lastsuperhero on my list is a sort of jack of all trades superhero. His name would be “Rectal Cranial Man” or RCM. His job would be to simply catch people doing all the stupid things see on the scene is “Pie Hole Man’. His job would be to muzzle the mouths of people'who insist on displaying the food they are chewing to the general public in an eating establishment. Admittedly, Pie Hole Man wouldn't make the world a much safer place, but at least it would be less gross! A superhero that I think we can all agree is needed is “Cell Phone Man’. Cell Phone Man, or CPM, would wear a yuppie suit and c a strategically placed cell For the week of November 7, 2008 not covered by the other superheroes job descrip- phone. His job would be to locate people talking on . their cell phones while they should be doing something ‘Be In The Know... Tue SPECTRUM 435-674-6200 www. thespectrum.com mleniey — 9 She GALLERY If you have ever played the piano, you’ve shared an experience enjoyed by millions of people over three centuries and in every nation on earth. Lessons continue to be given one-on-one and the teaching methods used by previous generations show no signs of fading. — @ YAMAHA Yamaha M425 Retail $4,295 _ Discontinued Model -- Bk] OnLy 2 LEFT SALE NOW FOR ONLY ea 2) BUSI % aH aS r F Afr ST a a - CARDS * Comics The PERFECT COMBINATION * Games 20° down required Hours: M-F 10-6, "Sat 10-4 oe Tues.- Sat. ttam- ni - www.comicsplus.com— it Cee ew ee te ee S064 BK *See store for details DID YOU KNOW...? Second grade students who were given fou months of piano keyboard training, as well as ti using math puzzle software, scored 27% hig al grade level. * Toys Eee " 435. 435-674-2500. ; ~ oR 90 pays SAC. able to solve proportional math prea * Models > | , 140 North 400 West, St. Pi ie * Anime =e AYMENTS OF $43/MONTH* ee 8 2 ese C45 SORES ee ew ee em” 18 oe ape of 2 Rein ey eee an att th ll ol el ol a” sntvanh cl oh oe alk te ~Keeping Mozart in Mind, Academic Press Next to Boulevard Home Furnishings ne ie aoa Sees ay ~ a ae oe PAA Ahi hd phthbdeedede Con * 628-4418 ae et eA sees RERS sae HS dk ene Ve & REE oe he be Bahodod che bib |