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Show So peddle on. Your penile artery may future generations will. not thank you, but Even down here in the red rock desert, we experience a dose of brutally cold weather every now and then. I have to admit it has been a while since the pipes froze. But we are wimps in Moab and have a lot more tolerance for heat than frost. We long for... High summer in the red rock desert. The temperature exceeds 100 degrees almost every day. The wild flowers, that were so abundant in May, have been blasted by the fierce sun and turned brittle and brown. The animals are hunkered down under rock ledges or burrowed into their underground shelters, waiting dusk and dinner. Most animals have better sense than to venture out into full heat of a July afternoon, and while we humans, on intellectual level at least, know better, we are stupid enough for the an to wallow in it. Hypnotized by the light and the radiation, we actually enjoy being broiled like a chicken. The heat can fool you out here and sometimes the effect can be deadly. The best way to learn about the risks of dehydration is to be stupid, get dehydrated and survive the ordeal; that’s what I did and I never forgot. On one of those summer trips out West, between my ongoing efforts to flunk out of college, I returned to the Southwest to hike a canyon I had found the previous year. In June there were springs at every bend. I carried my steel cup on my belt and allI had to do was dip it in the next bubbling pool to quench my thirst. Now, in August, I failed to notice the changes that summer heat causes and so I again left my water bottles behind. Five hours later my throat was as dry as the same steel cup that dangled from my belt. It was even too hot to touch. The pools were gone. But I was determined to continue and so I spent the next seven hours in 100 degree plus heat, searching for a glass of water. When I stumbled back to my car in the late afternoon, I don’t think I had another half mile of hiking left in me, but I never forgot. Others aren’t lucky enough to have a second chance. When I think of desert dehydration stories, I think of Abbey’s "Dead Man at Grandview Point" in Desert Solitaire. But even more remarkable is the sad story of Leroy V. Black in the summer of 1959. » According to Park Superintendent Bates Wilson’s monthly report, the 67 year old man was returning from Sipapu Bridge at Natural Bridges National Monument, and missed the trail to the Kachina parking area where he had left his car. Instead, Mr. Black continued to hike down White Canyon for almost 15 miles, where he was finally located by a search party three days later. According to Bates, "As there was not sufficient time to remove him from the canyon, SUBSCRIBE TO around midnight, he died." The great irony in Mr. Black’s ordeal was that he died of SWEET DREAMS OF DEHYDRATION Wintertime. of broth and water. By 10:30 PM he seemed much stronger, but he was made as comfortable as possible in a sleeping bag and fed small quantities thirst when there was water all around. THE ZEPHYR Most of the potholes were full of water, but they were also teeming with life. Fearfulthat he might contract an illness from the insects and algae in the water, he denied himself the only hope he had of survival. His Six issues a year for only $15.00 Twelve issues (2 years)...$28.00 Eighteen issues (3 years)...$40.00 dog, which had not been so concerned with water waders and green slime, was fine. Today, more than ever, the desert has become, in man minds, one big playground for whatever recreational challenge suits your fancy. But the desert itself is just as harsh and unforgiving as it ever was. In the end, the rocks will outlast us all. LAME Na ~ me. Address C ity State 6 20h n oes DISCLAIMER This issue is printed some weeks before it is actually distributed. If, between press day and distribution day, events have occurred that render parts or all of this issue tasteless, revolting, or sick (more so than usual, that is) please accept our apologies. Sometimes I can be offensive without meaning to be. E MAIL THE ZEPHYR (for cryin’ out loud) We didn’t finally go out and embrace technology for no dama reason at all. TALK TO US...THE E MAIL ADDRESS IS: zephyr@lasal.net NOTICE TO SUBSCRIBERS If your mailing label indicates an: 2/99 or 3/99 eeauaee (INCLUDE 9 DIGIT ZIP) PLEASE READ THIS: The P.O. will not forward 3rd Class mail. If you do not send us a change of address, we cannot be responsible for issues you did not receive. Subscriptions must begin with the next issuc...1996 & '97 back issues are available for $2.50 each. For earlier back issues call the Zephyr for a price list. Those readers who choose to take advantage of the multi-year discounts do so at their own risk. There is no guarantee that the world will be here in three years, much less this publication. The Zephyr may still make you ill, but it's still not the ink. WE USE NON-TOXIC SOY INK date following your name, your subscription is Send Subscriptions to: ABOUT TO EXPIRE! P.O. BOX 327, MOAB, UT 84532 You should have received or you should ° soon receive a renewal notice. In order to avoid an interruption in your ' subscription we must receive your renewal before MARCH I5, 1999 The-April/May issue of the Zephyr We cannot include back issues with a bulk mailing. Back issues can be purchased separately via Ist Class Mail for $2.50 each. will be on newsstands MARCH 26TH PAGE 4 WHAT'S LAME?.. Volume 3 Stairways to Hell? NPS trail construction at Arches National Park is nuts...shopping.com...Moab6’s sign ordinance Male bashing in America. Why?...Overpopulation: The eter’ annual rant PAGE 7 CANYON COUNTRY IN A NUTSHELL...the photographic evidence: Dog of the Month: A cat named Dummy? Wilson Arch City? The Wolfe Ranch Swinging Bridge...Gone. PAGE 8 CANYON COUNTRY WATCHDOG: Don’t believe a word Liz and Herb say...especially this time. Herb is off on some kind of alien journey. Liz is just reeking of sarcasm. PAGE 10 SAVED BY THE (ART) BELL: The ONLY news worth listening to is out of this world What is real? What isn't? Now I know...it doesn't matter. By Jim Stiles PAGE I5 TWISTED TABLOID: By Dan O'Connor "Aliens Create Crop Circles out of Solid Rock at Delicate Arch! 16 THE LAST ‘BABE-A-RAMA/HUNK-A-RAMA: It’s a Who's Who’ of Moab and the World! From Bill 6 Monica to Rep. Hansen to the Dominatrix Factor at the Nature Conservancy: Bellagamba & Wilson..PLUS Hank Rutter..Jack Campbell...Tim Buckingham... The Knave... Teresa King...AND MORE!!! PAGE 18 AROUND THE BEND AGAIN: By Ken Sleight Ken does Elvis in San Juan County GE 20 MINGLIN’ WITH THE TWINKLIN' STARS: Volume 3 of Kelly Stelter and Famous People Kelly hangs with eg if. as Montana...Utah Phillips STREAMOF CONSCIOUSNESS: ‘When the Earth moves’ Don't ae a re for granted around here. It may land on top of you. By Anne Wilson PAGE 24 THE BARRIER CANYON EXPEDITION.1940 a these PAG un-lame article in this issue) By Barry Scholl ; FEEDBACK: A complaint about development in southern Utah OTHER a Maal Another complaint about anti:SUWA aires John Holland. (BONUS: First cartoon ad for a shoe store in Western Australia) |