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Show UINTAH BASIN STANDARD. November 10. Question No. 1: Question No. 3: are there so many different sizes of watch batteries from little bitsy ones to kingsize that are almost larger than the time piece? Answer No. 3: 1 need to contact brand new Minnesota governor Ventura. I bet he will putTheClaw or a sleeper hold on those chargemaand body slam that king-guys Energizer Bunny to get those batteries down to a "What should I Why-Oh-W- Chris Cannon, Robert Bennett, and Scott Leckman signs. On second thought, I think 1 better abandon the i dea because I might get the dogs ticked off. Also, newly elected governor of the state of Minnesota, Jesse The Body Ventura, a former professional wrestler, could see the whole thing as a bad sign and body slam or pile drive me for not including his cardboard like: ness. Question No. 2: Is Stone Cold Steve Austin, another pro wrestler, going to someday be voted in as II sport. It is difficult to feel sorry for pro basket hall athletes, who make tons of money with Minnesotas Kevin Garnett getting paid $112 million. They arent coal miners on a picket line wanting better wages. Pro hoopstera already have better pay that anyone else. The owners are just as guilty! They are the dumb onus paying the $112 million. They need to learn to Just Say No!" They're killing the golden goose and have egg on their faces. Just get it together and solve the problem. workThere are fans and ers who aren't making millions that are hurting. Maybe hoop fans should switch size. Question No. 4 : What is the deal with the NBA Lockout, and how can the owners and players be so stupid? low-wa- Answer No. 4: Pro Baseball killed off its World Series in 1994 and almost dropped dead. Thanks to 70 homers by Mark McGwire, 66 shots over the fence by Sammy Sosa and 125 victories by the New York Yankees, who swept the San Diego to hockey? Question No. 5: Does Michael Jordan play hockey? Governor of Texas?" AnswerNo. 2: Present Texas governor is George Bush II. Some political folks have predicted that he could become the Republican candidate for U.S. President in the year 2000. Texas might need a new governor. Let's just hope that in the heat ofa debate that Austin doesnt put the stunner (his super headpounding mat move) on his political opponent, and thus get put in a steel cage. It is doubtful that Austin will follow in the footsteps of Ventura, who has retired from the pro wrestling world and has abandoned flying scissor kicks, ring post leaps, leg locks, and painful figure-foother moves. He might need to use those special talents to survive in the political world or at Beau Barker, center, jets to the end zone without boarding a plane to give the Utes a touchdown early in the second half. The Utes scored three TDs in a row to take a 42-2- 0 triumph over Emery in a quarterfinal game in Vernal, Saturday. The Utes are the only Uintah Basin team still alive in the playoffs. 3-- A Reach Page Padres in the 1998 World Series, the Grand Game has made a comeback, but it has been a long four years. Some fans still havent forgotten the boot by baseball. They no longer have a rooting interest in the by Al Jon Rachele do with my political campaign signs now that the election is over? Answer No. 1: 1 can use leftover political signs to fence in my yard. Democratic and Republican Party signs would keep stray dogs off my lawn. The entire yard would be fenced in by Jerry Romero, Beverly Evans, Gordon Snow, Cindy Barton-Coomb-s, 1998- - Semi-Fina- ls Utes continue unbeaten ways by whipping Spartans, 42-2- 0 ur dog-eat-d- attack from his least a mat buddies, Hollywood Hulk Hogan, The Undertaker, Mankind and Randy Macho Man Savage. Wouldnt the Ultimate Warrior make a super Lt. Governor? Tag-Tea- utes later Uintah regained the ball in great field position at the Emery Uintah gave up a touchdown with 38. A scoring strike from leu than 50 seconds left in the first quarterback Adam Madsen to Chris half to put Emery back within two Busch gave Uintah a touchdown with 2:08 left in the quarter. Madsen at 2 in a quarterfinal football game, Saturday. Ute Coach 'jetted into the end zone for the conversion for a 28-1-2 Uintah Curg Belcher's halftime locker room must been have advantage. speech Richens pumped up the Utes with Really upset). He got his message of Beau an interception early in the fourth acrou to the Triple-Tri- o Barker, Jeremy Strange and Troy quarter, and then the Uintah runAnderson. The Ute ground game ning attack continued to carve up buried the Spartans comeback in the Spartan defense with Strange the second half with a strong attack and Barker, who lost his shoe on one that led to a 42-2-0 Uintah triumph. play, doing the slicing and dicing all the way to the Emery 4. QB Madsen The Utes advance to a semi-fingame vs. Cedar City, which whipped made the final trip to the end zone for a touchdown with 4:35 remainDixie and Snow CanDelta, ing. Strange went from a runner to will off other in the yon square battle. Dixie beat North Sanpete, a thrower when he completed a half-42-1and Snow Canyon melted ., back pass t Richins in the end zone for a two-poiconversion and a 86 Bear River's hopes, 37-Uintah had a comfortable lead of to 12 Ute lead. 14-The Utes were dreaming of the and got the ball back with 1:25 Football Final Four when they to go in the first half when a diving attempt by an Emery player gained were caught napping by Emerys nothing but the Green, Green, Brett Bennett, who marched 90 Grass of Home" in Vernal. Howevyards on the kickoff to the end zone er, the Utes were gracious hosts as for a touchdown, and snared a two- they gave the precious pigskin right point pass to keep the Spartans back due to a fumble.' hopesialive, down by 16 points, 36-2-0 with 4:19 to go. Emery became a stranger left The Spartans took advantage of out in the football cold when Strange d TD their Big Break on a intercepted a pass in the dosing Ben Luce..Uintah was pass by QB, minutes and returned it 22 yards to able to keep Luce from breaking the end zone for a touchdown that loose for the conversion, sealed the victory for the Utes at 42-2and the Utes owned a lead at halftime just barely at T got the pick offand waited for Emery failed to take advantage blockers. I read them and got in my life. to of their new They had punt the ball away early in the second for the TD, commented Strange. Uintah jumped out to a 0 lead half. The Utes quickly took charge with a first down run to the Emery when Barker chewed up Spartan TD run defenders for a three-yar-d 30. Uintah cashed in with a pass with 45.6 left in the first quarter. catch by Trevor Richins, and then Emery tied up the game at 6 when Ute running backs. Strange and Brad Stilson turned in a circus catch Barker dominated the action. Barker scored from one yard out when he 'near the sidelines and then dashed 58 yards down the field for a TD. flew through the air like superman Emery killed a Ute drive with an and into the end zone for a TD with interception, butit was a costly move 7:08 to go in the third quarter for a 2 Ute lead. as they took over the ball at their It felt great to seme the TD. It own two. Uintah gained a safety moments later for an 6 lead late in was just a dive and the line opened a big hole, said Barker. Give credthe first half. tormented the Spartans it to the line! A perfect Ute punt pinned the on the ground, and then Anderson Spartans at their own 11, and min- - galloped 17 yards to the end zone for By Aldon Rachele 22-ya- rd lead. Uintah was the football king in the second half with three scores in a row and improved their unbeaten mark to 10-a 14-- 6 0. FREE RIDE Uintahs Eric Haslem, No. 60, does a balancing act on a Emery blockers shoulders during a punt. Union gave 10-- 0 Uintah one of its toughest games of the season a couple of weeks ago in Vernal. 3-- A 14-1- two-poi- nt MfiESSQGtf (umcrnE 'amm& al 51-1- 9. 3-- A 4, nt 7. 3-- A 6 TIGER PAW WITH NAILGARD Seals most tread punctures Instantly and Permanently. 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