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Show THE SAN JUAN RECORD Wednesday, June 28, 2000 - Page 16 Take time with your father His coughing hurts me now. His eyes are not as sharp as they used to be, his hearing is starting to fail him. He fell the other day and scared us all. has over They talk about it in the third person as if it" wont know as long as we dont actually say the word. Others want to talk too much. Well, you know' so and so on my He mothers side had.... blah seen blah. It sounds like a therapy 70 session. summers about and now it is autumn by Gary Torres lme him. frI pictured beautiful autumn colors for him. but they found "So a dark spot on his what does that mean Doc, what does a dark spot mean? There are all kinds of medical terminology, but in the end it all comes down to cancer. Thats it, plain and simple, Your father has cancer. The nagging cough used to be his signal that winter was on its way, now it comes more frequent and for no reason. I have always hated that cough, it gave me the chills, haunted me like shadows floating across my bedroom wall at night. My parents and I walk down If we talk it" long There was one curt snotty-nos- e receptionist that wore too much make up... I wanted to drag her across the desk and whack her in the head. Listen you impertinent brat. This is my father, he is a person, a human being that has paid the price his during lifetime, he has enough it will get tired and just go too bored to away, given everything around. stick he ever had, his including health and now Others read about it, thinking they can study it to death. If maybe his life, for they read all the literature perhaps his family. He has worked for 73 years and still have doesnt they will stumble on some obscure fact and make some connection that all the others have missed and will find the miracle cure. I am in a daze walking through the halls, my if enough money to retire on. He is a father, a brother, a son, a man of the utmost character who personifies integrity, so you treat him with the dignity that out dJHPS packages heu the hallway of the Cancer 11 Ward, each with our own thoughts, but all of us scared. I have always hated hospitals, they smell like medicine. As we pass each room, I watch my fat:er through the corner of my eye; and my father glances out of the corner of his eyes into the rooms. I wonder what he is thinking. In every room the patients eye sockets are drawn in and slightly darker, almost none of them have any hair, and they all look so tired. They look like they are just tired of fighting, but they know that they can't give up, even for a second. We all want to wake up from the bad dream. In each room there is also another person, a worried looking attendant; probably a wife, daughter, or son... they too look tired. We talk to some others in the waiting room. Some people dont want to talk about it, almost afraid that cancer is contagious and they might catch it if they are overheard, so they whisper. Others will talk, but never really say the word cancer. confidence is a thin veneer, I am scared, and my stomach hurts. The specialists talk too fast with long technical terms that dont sound comforting. am LATTER-DAY'S'CREATIO- -6 pm Mon - Sat 16 S Main Monticello 435-587-31- 55 NEEDLES OUTPOST the Middle Ages, it was believed that eating butter caused leprosy. CLOSEST SERVICE TO CANYONLANDS 34 MILES WEST ON HWY 211 4X4 Rentals Gas Camping Showers Snack Bar 435z97i9I4007 BROKER! 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Is it too late to let you know that I understand now. I know what that above all I love him. My it means to be a dad and the mother has her nervous twitch price you pay for children. How many dreams did you in her hand that she always has when she is worried about give up? Now, I know that all fathers give up things. For, something. I could wrish that give greater love hath no man Dad, I you back your summer of life. than this, that a man lay down Maybe you could do more his life for his friends." I things that you wanted to do understand that now, dad. I and less of what you had to do. know that you laid down your Perhaps we could fish a little life for us; an hour and a day more often, hunt a little more and a year at a time; I know often, and I could help you in that you gave up your life. the garage on the old truck. That perhaps is all the But nowr, just watch your payment I can offer you, dad. grandchildren, maybe they can To tell you that I know what infuse you with the fountain of that means. From My Cave youth magic potion. Whatever, and My View I hope and wish that all of you take the time dont give up, not now. During my youth I didnt to wish your father a good realize how much you gave up Fathers Day. for us. The years in the he deserves." But instead, I am left to help him fill out the pile of impersonal forms. Nothing in life prepares you for moments like this. Then again maybe, everything in life has prepared me for a moment like this. 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