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Show 19 THE ZEPHYRJAN-FE- B pathetic salaries for the insult they were and walked. And speaking of millions, college fees rose 7.4 percent. Which just meant those whining college students would have to get bigger loans. Which they could pay back when they graduated and reaped the financial rewards for their long yean of study. Hey, minimum wage could be up to $4.50 by then. March was fairly slow. Michael Jordan announced his return to basketball. It seems that baseball, aside from Michael's sad lad: of aptitude for actually connecting with a ball, simply was not paying enough. And in the legal headlines: "Witness In hot seat; attorneys bicker; juror gone". For simplicity's sake, let's just stipulate that this headline remains unchanged for the next six months. April saw the 25th anniversary of Earth Day. Which was commemorated in Utah by a wilderness hearing. Congressman Hansen was present, along with his pathetic 1.8 million acre proposal The crowd (his constituents, oddly enough) seemed to overwhelmingly (8 to 1) favour the 5.7 million acre option. Hansen, not to be distracted by his constituents' fashion, "If enthusiasm determined the amount of wishes, said in his jolly, down-howilderness acres, you folks would win, hands down. But", he added, "the result may not come out the way you want Hey, I don't explain his logic. I just quote him. And more from Ito and friends: "Stop acting like a child." (Cochran to speaking of quotes Darden); "You are a child, Mr. Cochran." (Darden responds); "Don't spit at me, Mr. Cochran." (from Ito). More quotable quotes from May: New headline: "Yet another juror dismissed". Hansen. On closing only some national parks (hint: they're in Utah and once you've seen them you certainty wouldn't want to return): "We'd have a caterpillar run over us before we'd touch Yellowstone or the Grand Canyon. Here's a good way to accomplish that, Jim. Lie down just outside St George and pretend you're a desert tortoise. And some truly happy news. Despite Hansen and friends' best efforts, the reintroduced wolves continue to thrive in Yellowstone, and one gives birth to seven pups. June sees a strange departure for the media, who actually abandon the O.J. circus long enough to give coverage to news. Scott O'Grady, an American pilot, was shot down over Bosnia by Serbs. He somehow survived and returned. Only now do we know how truly meaningless his whole ordeal was. Okay, trial quote of the month: T want to bop him over the head. (From former juror, in reference to the esteemed Judge Ito). July sees bad news for Michael Jordan. He makes the tragic discovery that he cannot scrape by on die current salary cap of 15 million. He and friend Patrick Ewing are, in fact, insulted by the paltry amount. For this he left baseball? So he and a group of his player friends take their ball and go home till the owners agree to raise the cap to 23 million. This shuts down basketball, even for the players whp have no quarrel with their current salaries. (Worlds away from Jordan's but still in die astronomical range). People like Karl Malone and John Stockton who somehow manage to drag their starving bodies to practice every day (close your mouth, Michael, you look like a codfish), play every game and still somehow feed the kids. If you had grown weary at this point of spoiled athletes and spitting lawyers and had decided, even in July, to escape to Yellowstone, you might have heard a wolf howl in joyous freedom under the quiet stars of the LaMar Valley. You might have Been three grizzlies and a family of black bears out there living life. In the real world. And you would have felt better. On another high note, August found the National Rifle Association reporting that it had lost 300,000 members this year. See? Education does pay. Meanwhile, back in Utah, always eager to listen to all his constituents. Governor Leavitt appointed 7 new members to the Wildlife Board of Utah. His formal statement said that this was an attempt to "gather conclusions." information from diverse interest groups and reach fair and The of own. consisted three one Well, draw your ranchers, appointments owner (ammunition sales, strangely enough), one insurance agent, one doctor and one biologist fron Deseret Land and Livestock (ie cows). Perhaps fee governor's idea of diversity simply consists of "ranchers from different towns. September brought a new bundle of joy to Congresswoman Enid Waldholtz and doting dad Joe. The news account stated, "Enid proudly showed off her new daughter, Elizabeth. A stuffed, gray elephant sat at the foot of her bed". Where the elephant later disappeared to, nobody knows. But wait, more trial stuff. After hearing endless arguments over the Fuhrman tapes arguments from which the jury had been excluded Judge Ito told the jurors, "Someday you'll find out what fee big deal was or wasn't" Hello? Lance? We're still waiting. me - well-balanc- ed small-busine- . - - PAGE 9 Which brings us to October and the conclusion of our little courtroom drama where, after less than 4 hours of deliberation, the jury found O.J. Simpson not guilty. Reactions ranged wildly, but a husband of one of the jurors seemed to sum it up best He said, Tm Jim Hansen made his glad it's over with, but I'm sick of it" Speaking of sick, a Bible-toti-n' most scathingly brilliant remark yet, regarding the Endangered Species Act He said, "It breaks the seventh commandment, Thou shalt not steal'". Maybe someone could volunteer to help Mr. Hansen plow through hi Bible again. Seems like he missed a few key points. The world lost a truly good man when Yitzhak Rabin was assassinated in November. Israeli. Rabin was just leaving a peaoe rally when he was gunned down by a right-win- g Shimon Peres, who stood next to Rabin during the rally, listening to him singing the "Peace Song", said of Rabin, Tt was a happy day in his life, probably the happiest day in his life. Now, in December, I find myself looking back at all of it the sadness, the siltyness, g the absurdity. Even now, it's fading. As it should. To make room for the small miracles. One year and five months after being diagnosed wife cancer, my truest friend, Ferris the Wonder Dog, continues to thrive. Apparently unaware that she was not even supposed to live to see 1995, she galumps her way toward 1995. Flatter and happier than ever, she continues to remind me daily of how to enjoy the truly important things. I guess, wife our troops in Bosnia and fee general mess in Congress and all the dumb things we humans keep thinking of to do to one another, one white dog can seem insignificant After all, she doesn't even know where Bosnia is. But she knows how to make snow tunnels with her nose. She knows how to play gently with a child and how to listen to deepest secrets. She knows the softest spot on the lawn for napping and how to get along with the neighbours' cat. She knows how to express joy with abandon. She knows how to celebrate life. And isn't that the whole point? - head-shakin- Gxs? smD casTOflo CDs 0030a, gnxDcsQdftOQii the Animal Damage Control (ADC) program intensively. And while, in the beginning, we believed in the viability of reform, it is now our opinion that ADC is biologically unacceptable, inhumane, wasteful, and verging on criminal Our mission is to preserve native wildlife and protect healthy native ecosystems by dismantling the Animal Damage Control program and placing management of wildlife into the hands of those whose vested interest is protection of biodiversity. Call or write for more information! For almost five years, Wildlife Damage Review has studied ss - LAME COFFEE IN LAME CUP IN LAME AD DROWNS LAME ' LYNN IN SENSELESS LAME INCIDENT. REMEMBER We're only 1 529 miles away. IPs worth ffw drive. 1 |
