| OCR Text |
Show THE PAGE 8 ZEPHYRJAN-FE- B 1996 Subject to Change Cherie Gilmore By ORGANICALLY GROWN VEGETABLES . year of new and wonderful discoveries for many of us. Well, perhaps not wonderful, but...Take for Instance the peek we were allowed info the workings of our justice system. After you stopped laughing, didn't it just scare you? We discovered how incomes most of us silly we had all been, to think we could get by on the measley were actually living on. Michael Jordan and his friends pointed out our folly. We watched our state be embarrassed every time any of our congress people spoke up. But we braved it alL And as we near the end of a ludicrous year, maybe we can put it all in perspective. After all, there are plenty of distinguished, adult judges out there. Lawyers too. Some of them are honest and usually the truth wins out There are still athletes who only make hundreds of thousands, not yet millions, and manage to scrape by and show up to play. We have, in the past, had at least one congressman who represented our state somewhat articulately. (Wayne, come back Wayne!) And really, when you look at the whole picture, all those newsy items will have faded into a obscurity by this time next year. Some already have. The important things remain. You don't have to look them up in old newspapers; they're right there. Part of yourself. But just to refresh your memory, just to help you remember what's real, here is a smattering of the events of 1995. In January, after 40 years in the minority, Republicans took control of Congress, with plans to "reform welfare, cut taxes, and change the way lawmakers do business". What this means in lay terms is that welfare will now only be obtainable by livestock; people who make too much money to worry about pesky things like taxes won't need to anymore! Lawmakers still have not actually changed any aspect of the way they do business. Oh, except this year, instead of pretending to earn their salaries, they dropped all pretense and simply went home for a while. But I'm jumping ahead. Back in January, Newt was still making some attempt at acting like an adult By February, President Clinton felt brave enough to poke his head out of his lonely office and propose a 90 cent per hour minimum wage increase. Which would be gradually 1995 was a IS THIS AD? ITS SO LAME HOW LAME TM STILL WEARING MY MRS. CLAUS OUTFIT FROM LAST MONTH. THArS HOW LAME IS, FOR IT CRYIN1 OUT LOUD. AND I HATE RED. well-deserv- ed - Implemented over a 2 year period. Bringing minimum wage, in 1997, to a staggering $5.15houri Well, of course Congress rejected the proposal, on the grounds that-w- ell, actually I could find no grounds. House Majority Leader Dick Armey of Texas, boldly stated that he would fight die proposal "with every fiber of my being". To which we could only reply, go for it, Dick. With your salary, your "being" is doubtless a mite stronger than those you employ to clean your house. And speaking of domestic filings, February was also the time when the Simpson jury first heard file now infamous "911 tape". Which was later found by the jurors to be totally irrelevant. Sure, Simpson beat the hell out of his wife on a regular basis, but that's a for cry from killing her. Isn't it?? He hadn't played football, really, for years and was probably out of condition, bo how much harm could he really do to this hundred --pound woman? Oh, and speaking of athletes, February also saw the baseball strike. This was the sad result of one of those pesky salary-ca- p proposals. See, the players' salaries had averaged 1.2 million the previous year, and apparently the owners felt that was more than sufficient incentive for grown men to stand around scratching themselves and occasionally spitting. The players' union saw these six-figu- re SOUTHERN PAVING CANYON NURSERY 275 Williams Way 259-82- Division of LeGrand Construction Co. SERVING YOUR ASPHALT, NEEDS GRAVEL, & READY-MI- X SOUTHERN READY-MIX.-2S9-22- 62 PAVING...259-580- 9 SPRUCE UP WITH A PINYON. CELEBRATE WHITER WITH A LIVING ALL EVERGREENS 20 OFF! 74 ' I |
