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Show PAGE 2 THE ZEPHYRNOVEMBER 1995 knew how and return as sent another copy. I asked all of them to answer as concisely they in terms of punctuality, least at their answers to me by the 20th. I am happy to report that, then again, so might but these boys can be counted on. Their answers may put you to sleep, this editorial (if you even made it this far). than Fiction department. County In Enough about the election. What else? the "Stranger Councilman John Maynard was recently arraigned on a charge of impersonating a game 17. But Moab warden. Maynard pleaded innocent to the Class B misdemeanor on October What you are about to read might best be described as "filler material." I make that announcement at the outset because I have that much faith in my ability to put something worthwhile on paper this month. For the last ten days, I have waited for the words to flow, and, yet, my mind remains as blank as the page I am trying to fill. Usually, by this third week of the month, something has come to mind. Now I'm beyond hoping for inspiration...but I do have this obligation, this responsibility to give you your money's worth. Of course I could argue that most of you steal the paper anyway and therefore I don't owe you a damn thing. But there are a handful of readers who actually do shove their quarters into the coin tubes and to those good and decent people I say, may the Hairy Thunderer bless each and every one of you. In fact, there arc about 30 philanthropists each month who cram a dollar bill in the tube. A tip! And a hefty one at that. It's not as if nothing is happening around here. This is Moab after all. We're a 1 Iappenin' Place, dude. Mountain bikers arc pouring in by the thousands; the Denny's is almost open; it's Fat Tire Time! Somebody is running a big 24 hour mountain bike race west of town in the Behind the Rocks area and Marooney stole my truck to cater the Big Event. If I ever see my truck again, at least in one piece with all the fenders still attached, it'll be a miracle of sorts. Politically, things are popping as well We have an election coming up on November 7. Three of the incumbent city councilmen are up for and I've never seen such such electrified an such electorate, intensity, spirited and informed debate, such a stimulating and exciting campaign. high-pitch- ed The truth is, I haven't heard more than a handful of people acknowledge that there is an election to be voted upon. I would bet that if I walked into any coffee shop or restaurant or bike shop in town and asked the employees and local customers the names of all the candidates running for the city council, less than a handful could supply the correct answer. I'd bet a free trip to Vegas that less than half could even tell me what office was up for grabs. Ladies and gentlemen, it's this kind of apathy that will be the ruination of this town and, frankly, I could care less. I was going for irony thorc...did anybody get it? This is not a reflection of my own apathy, but for the first time in seven years, I did not conduct direct interviews with the candidates. I've noticed that when there are a plethora of candidates running for office (six this year for the three seats on the Council), the interview format just doesn't work. When a question is asked, the first candidate to respond is actually required to think; the others have the time to assimilate the information given by the previous responses. What we end up with are a lot of answers like, "Yeah..well I agree mostly with what Bob said, but I think Fred made some good points too." Veiy enlightening. So this year, I sent each of the candidates a list of questions that 1 drew up one day when I was in a really bad mood and mailed the questions off via the U.S. Postal Service. A follow up phone call revealed that two of them never received the questions and so we while he aiui some friends were police officer Kent Lindquist claims that on September 6, bow hunting in the La Sal Mountains, Maynard ordered them to quiver their arrows and identified himself as a game warden. Maynard was allegedly perched in a tree at the time. of the County Council members; it Maynard has always been the most controversial was Maynard who spearheaded the Sportsmen's Club land giveaway. And some critics have argued that Maynard is more guilty of impersonating a responsible elected official than anything else. But hey, give the guy a break. This is America and a man (and even a woman) is innocent until proven guilty. The system works and anybody who doesn't believe that can travel to Panama City, Florida and ask O.J., if you can get him away from the golf course. Actually, this thing with Maynard does seem to be getting blown all out of proportion to the alleged crime. I le may be guilty of being goofy, but when I think of some of the other stuff that goes on around here, unnoticed or ignored, I can't get too worked up over Maynard's alleged transgressions. After all, I once told a tourist I was Edward Abbey. Maynard's trial is scheduled for November 29. low many words is that? Or more importantly, how many column inches? I could discuss the County Council's plan to widen and improve seven more miles of the Sand Flats Road, in order to keep it listed as a Class B road. All of Moab's best loved were at the meeting to encourage and demand the improvements. One of my favorite Sagebrush Rebels (I'm not kidding), Ray Tibbetts, is afraid that if the road isn't improved, that evil obstructionist forces will eventually close the road completely. Now I understand Ray. Ray's in the real estate business and there are some choice state lands up there, lands that the state will no doubt be anxious to lease or sell if the access wen? to be improved. There's some consistency there, whether I agree with Ray or not. But Lilly Mae Noorlander! What is the deal? I was so impressed with a letter Lilly wrote to the Deseret News a few months ago, that I quoted heavily from it right here on Page Two. Lilly said that the real destructors of the land were the environmentalists. Or more correctly, the recreationists who were destroying the very land they loved "in an orgy of There was a lot of truth in that statement; I suppose I could argue Lilly's definition of an environmentalist vs. a recreationist.. .they're not one and the same. But she made her point. So why? For the love of god, zWiy would Lilly Mae Noorlander want to sec the road improved? Recreational impacts arc currently mostly restricted to the area below Dave's Crack; above that kKation, the road is impassable to anything but 4WD vehicles. Improving the road will expand the recreational potential of the Sand Flats, will result in more Impacts and destruction, increase the frequency of those orgies, and will ultimately limit and even eliminate the traditional uses Lilly claims she wants to protect. More bikers mean fewer cows. Who's side are you on Lilly Mae? Now that I think about it...who's side am I on? Well, here's what I think. I think all herd animals have their place, be they human or bovine. I "self-indulge- nt could tell you about my trip to New York, but I think you people are sick of my travelogues and 1 don't blame you one bit. OK, I will advise that you should never go to New York City by yourself, particularly if you're in a bad mood...it's a Lonely Town when you're in the mood to wallow. Nobody. I mean NOBODY makes eye contact with ANYBODY in that town...thc town so nice, as Letterman says, they named it twice. And, more importantly, if you have your shoes resoled before planning to walk miles and miles on NYC pavement, test walk them before the trip. And if you don't test walk your shoes and you get these unbelievable blisters in locations on your foot where you didn't think it was possible for blisters to form, and you need they're cheaper at Duane Read's. I lore's what happened... I had hobbled up to the comer, to the Food Emporium at 90th and Broadway, to get Band-Aid- s and dental floss (not related to the foot problem, although I have considered toe I THE CANYON COUNTRY P.O. BOX 327 MOAB, UTAH 84532 (801) 259-77- PRINTED WITH 73 contributing writers Jane S. Jones Cherie Gilmore Joel Tuhy Mary Grizzard Scott Crocne I lank Rutter Dan O' Connor Mike Marooney Ken Sleight historical photos food editor Herb Ringer Howard Johnson subscriptions & grounds maintenance Jan Peterson circulation computer whiz-ki- d SOY INK 'M" WiIh a This newspaper may make you sick, but you can't blame it on the ink... We use non-tox- ic SOY INK. Brandon Oreno Neils Adair The Hammer Still Marooney THE ZEPHYR, Copyright 1995, All rights reserved The Zephyr is published monthly (11 times a year) The opinions expresed herein are not necessarily those of its vendors, advertisers, or even at times, its publisher. All photos by editor unless otherwise noted. s, SUBSCRIBE NOW TO ZEPHYR publisher & editor Jim Stiles Band-Aid- THE ZEPHYR Write to: The Zephyr, P.O. Box 327, Moab, UT 84532 One year (11 issues)...$15 Two years (22 issues)...$28 Three years (33 issues)...$40 Name Address SUBSCRIPTIONS MUST START WITH NEXT ISSUE.JBACK COPIES ARE $2.50 EACH. 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