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Show THE ZEPHYR AUGUST 1991 and colorful individual perform an ca rather than precise teem rankings by points. Watching the tournament unfold yields the pleasure; we show little Interest In who actually won. (How many of the spectators from last summer's JEEP SAFARI GAMES could tell you what the final outcome was?) A peculiarity of the UOAB SUMMER GAMES Is that if ANY team loses completely, we all lose. Team BLM, team ENYIRO-NUTand team OILY BOY- S- COUNTY COMM-WAL- U, all have strong positive things to contribute to our community. Because of this peculiarity (and our desire to have the spectacle continue), we as a community, must occasionally support whichever team seems to be weakening. Only through our support of the underdog of the moment may we assure ourselves the priveledge of watching this most glorious of tournaments continue. S, PAGE 15 ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES. I AM THE ORIGINAL FREDERICO BOOMERINI Strong Early Performances Even though we've barely entered the regular season, several contestants have In brilliant performances. turned already At the State Land Board Meeting In Moab, both Jimmie Walker and Roberta Knutson, playing for team WALU, scored an uncontested victory over several rather dreary and uninspired ENVIRO-NUT- S members. (Can ANYONE remember what team ENVIRO-NUT- S g not exterminate the school said?) Roberta's plea that the ENVIRO-NUT- S children of Grand County took top honors of the day. After listening to Jimmie's description of Bighorn Sheep behavior In the Deedhorse Point area, the audience could almost picture the Sheep visiting Moab's curio and shops, so attracted are they to the tourists (and other forms of economic development as well). Only last foil, the Bighorn were reputed to have Interfered with Him Commission activities out In the Professor Valley about swimming across the Colorado River and harassing film crews while they were trying to shoot commercials. Soon, we'll have to stand In line behind those damn Sheep while we're ordering our Big Macs! Those Bighorn Sheep are really getting to be a nuisance. Our beloved team COUNTY COMM has also scored several knock downs against Often victory goes to the audacious. In their "Oil and Gas" resolution the ENVIRO-NUTthe Commissioners demonstrated their astute grasp of history by claiming that the first persons in Grand County were "committed to the principles of private property and free enterprise." Asked about the Indians who lived here before the white man stole their land, they didn't even understand the point How silly to think Native Americans might really be Just another "Intolerant environmentalist" trying to confuse our poor "people." commissioners with strange new Ideas. with such Commissioner Torres K.O.'d several members of the ENVIRO-NUT- S finesse that they couldn't even figure out who had turned out their lights. While fighting the PUBLIC NOTIFICATION issue, Manuel blew away the competition by announcing that since the BLM had told him (Manuel) what they were doing about oil and gas, BLM had therefore met Its PUBLIC NOTIFICATION requirement! The BLM notifying Manuel is the same as the BLM notifying the public at large! Inspired play! Easier to go one on one against Magic Johnson, than to try and take on our Manuel. Not to be outdone on the home court, our beloved Sam Taylor's article on why the mountain bikers withdrew from the Coors well altercation deserves special applause. (The In questioning the Coors well site mountain bikers had originally sided with ENVIRO-NUT- S In the Gemini Bridges area.) After being taken out behind the woodshed and thrashed by a couple of the boys from team BLM, the mountain bikers Judiciously retreated from the playing field while they could. A particularly nice touch was the way Sam concludes the article by pointing out the bikers really didnt want to be associated with any of those nasty "extremist environmental groups" anyway. A final award In the early games has to go to Meridian Oil. With the ENVIRO-NUT- S trailing for behind the OILY BOYS on everyone's scorecards, It was an act of unexpected gallantry when they recently toppled their well drilling rig out on Hatch Point. Undoubtedly and fearing concerned that the gap was widening between their team and the ENVIRO-NUTteam might throw In the towel, out of concern for the common good that the ENVIRO-NUT- S and for the continuation of the MOAB SUMMER GAMES, the OILY BOYS exhibited true sportsman- - like generosity. With the horrors of the EXXon Valdez oil spill in Alaska still in the public's memory, this la Just the kind of stunt to create public trust and to show that the a break OILY BOYS really know what they're doing here In Moab-glvl- ng team ENVIRO-NUT- S when they really needed it heart-rendin- irt area-somet- hing S. S, Promoting the MOAB SUMMER GAMES over $300,000 of "free" money to spend, we should have no trouble getting the Travel Council to start producing MOAB SUMMER GAMES promos that can be shown In southern California, to attract more of the kind of people that we would like to have move here. There has been a vile rumor spread recently that the aficionados of the new sport called "Laddering" have been successful In getting support from both the Travel Council and team Economic Development This la NOT true. Laddering Is but another of those wimpy outdoor activities thet hae NO chance of capturing the Hearts and Souls of This Moabites. Nothing could compare to the Illustrious gladiators of the MOAB SUMMER GAMES standing toe to toe In the coliseum, fighting to the death with no mercy granted, their fresh blood slowly seeping Into Moab's hot, red soil. Yup, those ancient Romans knew how to put on a show! With the great "Moab Horse Bam" (pronounced "Grand County Old Spanish Trail Events Special Center) nearing completion, we will soon have our own coliseum, where we will be able to stage events with all the teams on the arena floor simultaneously. Designed more for Filming than anything else, this could be Moab's big chance to stage a real world class event and get the coverage that Moab truly deserves. With Toward the Games of '92 entries for next summers year before their event, we cannot expect world class performances from our teams unless they've had a long "training regimen," during which misunderstandings can fester, antagonisms are exacerbated, Insults given and returned, promises broken, rumors spreed, Issues polarized, and Ideologies sharpened. No, it's not too early to begin planning for the SUMMER GAMES of '92. No, it's not too esriy to be submitting your very own GAMES. As with Olympic Games' athletes beginning training a 94 W. 1st No. 259-533- 3 CASTLE CANYON NURSERY HAPPY TREES FRIENDLY BUSHES KEN and ALICE DROGIN Box 2106, CVSR, Moab, Utah 84532 Creators of Fine Landscapes 2598274 ANYTIME Licensed Landscape Contractor PLANTING IRRIGATION SYSTEMS DRIP IRRIGATION H.Q. |
