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Show THE ZEPH YR/FEBRUARY-MARCH 2004 The next day, Mike and I headed for the Maze Overlook, and Jeff came along. He still needed to recover the raft, cached somewhere above Spanish Bottom. We reached the overlook in the afternoon, and the next morning, Jeff took a route via Pete's Mesa to the Dolls House, while Salamacha and I explored the Maze. Twenty-four hours later, he'd rejoined us. When we saw him come around a bend in the canyon, he looked like a giant aed ae “The REALTOR who knows what's duffle bag with feet. That afternoon, as we trudged through pools of quicksand in a beautiful, deep side canyon, the Limey pulled up next to an old cottonwood tree and opened his pack. Mike and I stopped, and came back to the tree. ae ee cee BANKCR GO REALLY going on in Moab.” "Why are you stopping?” Mike asked. "Tea time, mates,’ he said. Sure enough, he pulled out his stove, a pot, a canteen, and a tea bag. Jolly good show. He advised us to get out our cups, so the three of us did the civilized thing and had our cup o'tea at four. It was pretty much like that for therest of our time in the Maze. I started wishing I had a crumpet, and I didn't even know what a crumpet was. Two days later, we were back on top. From Hans Flat, Jeff drove with me back to Moab, where he immediately re-packed and took off again. A few days later, ‘Theard a ranger report on the park radio that he'd issued a warning to a hiker without a permit. Some crazy guy trying to walk the White Rim. What's a hundred miles or so? Jeff's next trick was to walk the Colorado River to Spanish Bottom. When I later asked Jeff how he'd intended to perform this particular feat, he explained that he'd heard it was a “low water year.” In the months and years that have passed since our first meeting, Jeff Woods has come and gone many times. He helped me build a cabin and used up all my tea bags. He drove my ex-wife's car off a cliff. He ran over a cow ina VW bus on the road to Hanksville. (It was, he said, a black cow, on a black road, on a black night.) He went around the world. Twice. He got mugged in Albuquerque, but chased down his attackers and single-handedly disabled their pickup truck. Today, Jeff Woods rails against our materialistic society and the apartheid policies of South Africa at an all girls' Catholic College in Scranton, Pennsylvania... I hate Jeff Woods. The last time my little buddy came to town, I introduced him to some friends of mine. Jeff told them about the hikes, the black cow, the mugging, the ex-wife's car.... nobody believed him. When he'd left, | heard someone say, “Isn't he the most outrageous person you've ever met?” “No,” I replied. ARCHES REALTY 150 E. Center St. Moab. UT 84532 BUS: 435.259.5693 800.634.0770 RES: 259.5852 judypowers@moabutah.com (Each office is independently owned and operated) “He is.” What draws us into the desert is the search for something Ga: intimate in the remote. EA Ranch Cook House H & H PROPERTY SERVICES 380 §. Main Monticello 587.3299 23 SOUTH \ MORE THAN JUST A RESTAURANT Art Gallery. . Cowboy Literature Vintage Western Music & Videos Souvenirs and Cowboy Hats fe. se Ge Yfh Mrz, e Wea naa \ Os ce yy NLIENS2927. | ieWiFU Nee aarb™ 100 WEST MOAB, UT 84532 435.259.1001 JOHN HARTLEY FULL LINE OF CARETAKER SERVICES INDEPENDENT HOME INSPECTION SERVICES We Serve BEER, WINE & MIXED DRINKS and featuring BLACK ANGUS STEAKS | | know ALL about aliens. |> After all.:.1 live in™ “SAN JUAN COUNTY. MONTICELLO, UTAH . Phone: Look it up yourself ee |
