Show Section Monday November 17 2003 The Herald Journal' Pagel i For no ApJEl jRiisoa f Sibling rears its ugly head By Kelly Pavla w hen I was four years old and my brother Scott was two I him I don't remember’ this incident and quite frankly I think I was framed How do we know the little bugger didn't shoe polish himself and then point his : gooey little finger at me when oiir mother appeared? My dad came home to find my mother collapsed in tears He thought one of us must be hurt We weren’t hurt but one of us was definitely orange Dad took a picture of my: naked orange little brother standing in the bathtub and told my mother that shoe-polish- ed one day she would think it was funny1 She sobbed ! “I will never in all my life think this js ' " Photo illustration by Mitch MascaroHerald Journal to funny!”-- : ! - Well now that little naked orange I is like favorite a to picture family ' trot it out whenever my brother intro- -' duces a new girlfriend Of course my own children have never done anything like this Oh ho their sibling rivalry is much worse I!d take a gobdshbe-poiishin- g any : over don't what know doI day they : ' why buieverything is the biggest contest oh the planet Consider the doorbell When it rings I go to the laundry room and hide I have learned hot to be anyr where near the panicked race to see "' ' who will get there first I broke a toe ' once because I was dumb enough to ' try to answer the door before the v plowed me stampeding competition ' ' ' over ' ' Iasi Miner door! “My Shegotit - She may seem like a m s shallow gal but you can learn a lot fromBarbie :OlJoe and Ken too it' By Pat Bohm Troatfe : ' timel” ‘No I didri guy!” - ' - ' You got the pizza ' '' - I can'tmakecirinamon rolls for Y breakfast anymore You know how : they are arranged in a circle and there is one in the middle? The kids' have decided that the middle cinnamon roll is far superior I asked them to just take turns However unless J am willing to create: a graphical time- -' line representation of the history of the middle cinnampti roll I can’t remember who got it last Just the : other day my daughter sobbed “Mom I know it is my turn andif ' you give him die middle I am never going to eat again and then I will ' probably die!” Of course I reminded her that death is messy and inconvenient and really ought to be preserved for something more important like who gets to sit in the “bum warmer" seat in the car next There is also a phone competition When it rings they race to the phones like it is the only phone call tpat has ever been received in our home The unfortunate people who call us get this: “Hello? Hello?” “I've got it!” “No I do!" “I answered it first!” “No I did!” “Who is this? Did she answer it first or did I?" The other day they were actually ' competing over whose glass of water was more full At that point I lost it I zoomed around in a crazy fit turning on all the faucets When they asked me in rather amazed shock what I was doing I shrieked”See? Water is everywhere! No competi-don- ! And guess what? The phone : - : : : : See DAVIS mC4 hen little girls and boys play with Barbie drills and GI Joes they are part of cultural phenomenon Their ' child's play might look sintple but it actually depicts part of a complex web of societal perceptions about gender “Naked Barbies Warrior Joes' & Other Forms of Visible Gender" is a recently published book by Jeannie Banks Thoniias The authora Utah Stale Uiiiyersity English profes-so- r and direetprof the folklore progriim talked about the folk- -: lore of Barbies and fees on campus Iasi week Attenders flooded the lecture room at the Haight Alumni CenterinteN ested in exploring the tneaning of the most popular doll ever - made' ' Barbie was born in 959 from the mind of Ruth Handler one of the founders of the Mattel toy company Handler’s oWh daughter and son were named Barbara and Kenneth and she passed the' names along to her pearly immortal dolls She intended the “princess of pink” to help girls adjust to the y adult groom- - " Changes of puberty and allow them to ing Indeed noted Thomas over the years the hair of Barbie and her cohorts has grown ever longer to accommodate girls’ wishes to arrange and rearrange it Little girls were the marketing target for Barbie and Ken dolls but warrior dolls like GI Joe were aimed at little boys Changing the name to “action figure" was a marketing ploy to attract boys who could not would pot play with dolls! Nevertheless Barbie Ken and GI Joe shared some notable attribut- es The ones most commented on are their unrealistic and secondary sexual characteristics In Barbie’s case it is the oVeriarge (though nipple-frebreasts in Ken and warrior Joe’s the super-size- d chest and arm muscles According to Thomas' research only one woman in 100000 measures up to Barbie but one man in 50 matches Ken and Joe is out of reach Over the years said Thomas Gf Joe’s physique was beefed up until jt resulted in for example biceps that would measure 26 inches on a proportional human a body image unattainable for the real little boys who played soldier wjth him In spite of the dolls’ Ubennensch measurements — an actual woman shaped like Barbie would — both Barbie and GI Joe are asexual or measure close to it with regard to their reproductive parts Thomas quoted a Mattel company document that referred to Ken’s sexual anatomy as “a very modest bulge ” Thomas questioned why Barbie dolls have stirred up more controversy than GI Joe figures After all she noted die male doll not only taught boys an unrealistic expectation regarding their adult bodies but he was a war toy That placed two strikes against him while Barbie only had the distorted body 1 i : role-pla- hyper-develop- ed e) 38-18-- Sec DOLLS on C4 Photo illustration by Mitch MascaroHerald Journal According to Thomas ’ research only one woman in 100000 measures up to Barbie but one man in 50 matches Ken |