Show nf fTTt July 14 1999 — Page 17 The Herald Journal Logan Utah Wednesday SHERMANS LAGOON CNN’s Jeanne Moos reports what will never be real news NEW YORK (AP) — Where are the comediennes on TV today? What women make you laugh with their commitment as Lucille Ball or Carol Burnett once did? For nearly 20 years CNN of all places has been the home of one of television’s funniest females On this almost-all-new- s channel she’s the journalisi dispensing comic relief “I think I’m the humorist of the network’ says Jeanne Moos “but that's certainly not an official CATHY Harold seehs THE DATING THINKS YWWfY" DATING HAROLD HAROLD SOSOJ lASriwOl I AM MOM title" " 'SB UR RELATIONSHIP FOR iri'vi N0T HAROLD fthwr r HAROLD J DOES THINKS YOtfRE DATING HAS IQ BE ONE OF THE NOT dating HAROLD AND Nrf THE PERSON UHO I PEOPLE UHOKE DATING!! No her official title is national news correspondent Life's tiny indomitable details are her heat Only Jeanne Moos (sounds like genic rhymes with close) could have done justice to the three-legge- d in a piece pantyhose called that included boisterous public feedback and her own unabashed product test d A 1 walrus blubbering about muscle spasms? Moos reported on walrus massage therapy Catching hot dogs fired from a shoulder-mounte- d wiener launchcr'Thcre was Moos with glove raised at the Phillies' Veterans Stadium It was she said “a moment to relish” She gave viewers an Easter-tim- e tour of the plant that makes Marshmallow Peeps where the wax confection were eyes for this applied “under the eye of — we kid you not — Candy” And after posing a question no one had ever asked before — how is every timepiece advertisement the same? — Moos enlightened her flock: Every clock and watch is set at 10 minutes after 10 so that the hands with their describe a smile Refreshingly goofy yet shrewdly observed a Moos essay wrings every bit of humor and existential truth from its topic and at a breakneck pace The visuals are densely packed while Moos’ narrative (a piece on traffic cones invokes the Conehcads and even Yankee pitcher David Cone) is delivered in a voice not unlike a brass band warming up Moos never mocks her subject or glazes it with irony Instead she is in it up to her ankles — sometimes literally as when she reported on the career of racehorses Apair-N-Aspa- DON'T THINK TNI DATINfir HAROLD ! r rc 750-poun- BEETLE BAILEY AP Photo cd ever-watchf- ul -- HAftAR THF HDPRIRI F CNN national news correspondent Jeanne Moos slands on a New York City street July 2 1999 Refreshingly gooty yel shrewdly observed a Moos piece wnngs every brl of huinor and existential truth from its topic at a breakneck pace All in all it's a hit hard to imagine Minis reporting on the Beijing student uprising or inters iewing former Soviel leader Mikhail Gorhachcx — especially after seeing her destroy a Furhv doll But she did After graduation from Syracuse I !ni versify and a brief stint as correspondent for an upstate New York station Minis joined CNN in its infancy Then site spent a doen years juggling regular reporting chores and what she calls “sort of weird stulT" “It was dicey" she admits “1 would do really serious stories one day and the next day do a screwball thing Some of the people at the network had a problem with it But I always argued 'Life is tragic one minute and funny the next!'” “I wonder if you've considered meditation" Then covering the United Nations during the Gulf Moos asked a steed with stomach ulcers when she War “put me over the edge” she says “I really don't like hard news I love to watch it hut I can't stopped by its stall “St John's Wort? Aromatherapy?" Then she took a whiff and quipped “This one kind of stand to do it” NEEDS aromatherapy!" Better she should contemplate the little things the n Her thrice-weekl- y milk carreports each of which gets news upstages things like multiple airings in between the timely serious stuff tons or those "hugs" infestare designed to inform and no matter how familiar ing your TV screen (For that story Minis deployed you might be with the Moos oeuvre to catch you a fly swatter) Tien sometimes the subject gets a little racier even for the CNN anchors: Back on “I got in a cage with a naked man in a Sollo camera after a Moos feature what can they say? gallery who was acting like a dog” she notes “I find it funny to watch the anchors coming out “Dog Man was famous in Russia as a performance artist and anyone could get in the cage and of one of my pieces” Moos confides “This mornfor men You know he would sort of attack you 1 think the producers ing we did one on — with a cosmetic ears hairy thing It's fun to fell I shouldn't have gotten in a cage with a naked guys watch the anchors and how they handle iL" dog man But I like to he a little subversive" She has offered a visitor one of the bright orange It was a funny report and Moos emerged d chairs in her office at CNN's New York unmauled So what's the big woof? “Not just CNN but everybody did OJ Simpson bureau The coin1 scheme brings to mind a 1950s Howard Johnson's restaurant Or could this be an for more than a year” Moos reasons “I don't think it's so far out what I do" office at Comedy Central? high-pressu- re hard-to-ope- network-identificati- off-gua- rd PEANUTS Off-gua- i LET HER GET ABOUT TENT FEET AWAY THEN THROW YOUR GLOVE AT HER rd ear-waxi- I blue-walle- ‘Muppets’ are losing their charm By Christy Lemire Associated Press Writer MOTHER GOOSE AND GRIMM FOX TROT DAD THE THiS CAME W MAIL OOO-- FM YOU IT S FROM THE J WILLY MILLIONS FtoUN- H! IT MUST K A i Ndrt TELLM6 I Dno ME MY J COMPREHENSIVE HOME- STUDY COURSE M WEALTH IS ON ITS ACCUMULATION REAL LIFE ADVENTURES iI CLOSE TO HOME Movie review “Muppets From Space" isn't a great movie for kids despite its cuddly familiar characters and G rating Several jokes are adult in nature Example: Gonzo wakes up and tells his roommate Rizzo the Rat that he had a bad dream Rizzo quips “You mean the one with the goat and the dwarf and the jar of but peanut butter?” A good laugh for grown-up- s try explaining it to your Later Miss Piggy struts about in a purple vinyl dominatrix get-u- p working as an investigative reporter trying to snag a scoop on aliens Not exactly a role model for young girls Actually “Muppets From Space" doesn't offer much for adults either The normally smart endearing characters can't save this movie which begins with a flimsy premise Gonzo is having an identity crisis: Kermit is a frog Miss Piggy is a pig Fozzie is a bear What is Gonzo? His friends assure him they love him for his crooked beak and bug eyes but Gonzo still feels lonely and confused One morning the letters in his alphabet cereal lead him to believe he’s an alien He appears on Miss Piggy's talk show “UFOMania" draped in metallic silver to proclaim he’s from outer space The movie is his quest a la "ET" to find home Meanwhile government bad guys led by K Edgar Singer (Jeffrey Tambor of HBO's defunct “lie Lany Sanders Show") want to experiment on Gonzo They kidnap him jail him and strap him to Win a gurney in order to pluck his brain from his scrawny blue head and learn his secrets The wacky Muppet crew must break into the government's secret compound and rescue their friend This is where the movie grinds to a halt First-tim- e director Tim Hill's pacing drags and the jokes stop being funny Even kids at a recent screening weren’t laughing It seems the Muppets have lost the inspired charm of their earlier films when Jim Henson was still around to guide them Since his death Muppet movies just haven't been the same despite the efforts of Henson's longtime puppeteer friends to cany on his legacy One thing that's missing is original music Songs like “Rainbow Connection" and “Movin' Right Along"' helped make the first Muppet movie memorable “Muppets From Space" features a soundtrack of 1970s funk While it’s fun to watch Miss House" thumping behind her the song seems out of place And at the predictable sappy end there’s an enormous production number in which all the Muppets sing and dance to Kool & The Gang's overplayed “Celebration" Worst of all “Muppets From Space" isn't even set in space Gonzo gets zapped into the stars for one scene where a pair of “cosmic Ash' give him advice on finding his family hut most of the film is earthhound Fans of the funny “Pigs in Space” skit from “The Muppet Show" may he disappointed Everyone else will just he bored at bridge mation Don't make a strong jump shift on a hand with which Who said this? “Sometimes you expect to make the final decipeople call me an idealist Well sion for the partnership If the diamond finesse is losthat is the way I know I am an American America is the only ing the trump suit must be idealistic nation in the world” played without loss Yet if the The heart suit in today's deal is diamond finesse is winning to a favorite with problemists — South can take the safety-pla- y idealistic or otherwise avoid more than one heart loser How should you play it (a) for So after winning trick one in no losers (b) for at most one hand declarer should immediateloser or (c) in the context of this ly take the diamond finesse deal? If it wins declarer plays a heart for at Speaking of part (c) you are in to the ace the safety-pla- y six hearts West leads the club 10 most one loser — answer (b) How would you proceed? However when the diamond It is definitely best for South to finesses loses South plans to play a heart to the queen the right line respond one heart not two hearts By making a minimum response for no loser — answers (a) and South gets not only distribution (c) North By Phillip Alder but also strength information A t communication goes great deal of on between spouses non-verb- al City dwellers everywhere are sleeping better thanks to the advent of Nerf garbage cans “Brick Piggy primp with The Commodores' from partner After a strong jump shift he would get only distribution infor Woodrow Wilson held the belief that America is the only idealistic nation 019MhvNEA lor A J 5 V 8 6 S 3 A 6 Q J 4 J East West 974 V J 10 I 3 2 V K 2 4 0 K 10 8 2 9 7 4 3 10 9 7 6 4 5 3 2 South AKQ1 V A Q 10 9 7 4 Q 5 A K I Vulnerable: Both Dealer North Opening lead: 10 |