| Show arture Imp robab I 1 ty teacher in grammar class john ny tell me the form of the verb used in this sentence I 1 am about to be married johnny with trepidation I 1 I 1 think it Is an improbable form teacher play too short perhaps mr chatsworth did you enjoy the matinee deara mrs chatsworth oh very much I 1 sat next to mrs gaddie whom I 1 have not seen for years and we did have a nice long chat philadelphia led ger must not tarry the late asbel P fitch of ew used to like to tell about his en counter with a washington newsboy on his first visit to that ty A stranger in the city mr fitch all fauni some d in finding his way about seeing an alert look ing newsboy standing on the corner he said to him my boy I 1 want to go to the white house very well replied the lad patron ou may go but don t stay more than halt an ho ir boston traveler hard luck how is green getting along with his flying machine corn panya he s had some hard luck hov soa why he completed his first ma chine the other day and was j 1st about to mal when the blamed thing brol e away and flew out of sight and now ever thing a up in the air two to one he snores sorry old man that I 1 can t go to supper with you but 1 never eat much at night my doc tor sas it isn t healthy to sleep on a full stomach fibkins so does mine akins then what makes you do if fial ins I 1 don t sleep on a full stomach I 1 sleep on my bad town topics what a baby can do friend I 1 don t understand why you and your husband should have sepa rated so soon mrs aftermath it was all owing to the baby s temper mercy on us how could th be we coulden couldn t agree as to which one of us the baby tool after new aorl weekly H s W fes op n on mrs Gu schley remarked to me that it must be pleasant to be mar ned to a clever man aid s wife nd what did you say queried I 1 told her of course that I 1 dian didn t know that I 1 bad only been married acce bathol standard and times and P ty the was in a thoughtful mood say what you like about R issia he soliloquized but I 1 am more wel come there than among the rich people of america and then he flapped his wings while the czar tossed him golden crumbs it would seem so him what I 1 value above every thing else is my peace of mind her well I 1 dont blame you him what do you mean by thata her one naturally values a thing of which he has but a small piece chess labor yeast I 1 dont suppose the eight hour law will ever be adopted by professional fess ional chess players 7 Crimson beak oh my no they d hardly have time enough to make one move in eight hours killers rod rick I 1 saw the autumn parade of the fashionable folks van albert were any to kill yes a fw chauffeurs mancul ne theory brains will tell every time re marked the typewriter boarder of course rejoined the old bach elor at the pedal extremity of the ta you refer to the brains of a woman S agns gns of dark consa racy I 1 believe the black hand is after my money what makes you tahil soa well sir last night I 1 held an ace augh straight against a club flush IN ital A b J terr revenge orpheus nas boasting that he could make the rocks sing to his music perhaps retorted aeolus but bet you can t make the furnace draw smart ng under he insult the god of music invented the cornet player by way of retaliation colliers weekly tr als of the R ch fuzzy fred say lew dont youse wish you had all he silver dollars wot youse could carry lazy lew naw not ef I 1 had ter carry em very far HIS preference man are you looking for 1 tramp not it I 1 can find anything else to do out of the ord nary fred what do you think of miss hyatt joe oh s she s a nice looking girl but her actions are a trifle 1 fred Unwomanly 7 joe yes she actually insists upon putting on her gloves before going out into the street why D t she set them outdoors sally martha weather is the lazi est woman in this here county cynthia what makes you say that sally sally I 1 inov it why she left the window open so the rain would come in the kitchen and wash the dishes why not both do you carry on a matrimonial brol business 9 yes who pays your commission the bride or the bridegroom 9 I 1 never tell that that s a secret wouldn t stand for it mulford did you ever make an after dinner winding no I 1 was going to once but for some reason the dinner was indefinitely postponed somewhat D efferent and did she really tell you her agea asked the woman oh no replied the man just the age she tells people she Is the czernal woman I 1 must have a new gown and coat at once great thunder atlon woman how can you ask for a gown and coo when you have to testify in my bank hearing next week I 1 simply have to have them do ou think I 1 can face the people in he courtroom when I 1 am wearing my old clothes 7 the old and the new did you attend the opening per firmance for mance of that farce comedy es anything new here some of the people in the audience appeared to be new they laughed at ane jokes aggravate Ag gravat ng man I 1 dont see how you can find fault him why not because he s a man who Is rely without a fault that s just it his worst fault another absurd old saying isn t it ridiculous to say half the world doean doesn t know what the other halts doings why soa because halt the world must live next door to the other half time Is money the victim what two dollars for filling that toothy why the dentist across the street only charges a dol lar the dentist but my dear sir it takes me twice as long to fill a tooth as it does him and there are others husband there are two ways 0 living my dear wife what are husband one Is within our means as we should but don t and the other is beyond our means as we t but do how he got it binks queer that charley could acquire such an automobile face he never drives his machine over eight miles an hour jini s I 1 know but he got it when his first months bill for the repairs came in cant sleep on him yes just as soon as the parson starts his sermon he stops all the elec trie fans what s that tora he 1 that the hum Is much too soothing on a warm day M have been worse truly said the disappointed fe male marriage Is a lottery what did iou drawe aaker the in person less than half the alimony I 1 ex pecked A little change I 1 gave a poor manteo nickels to day for charityn 7 no for a dime SHARED WITH THEM mrs bridget the grocer s and butcher s bills are getting larger and et the meals you serve us are getting poorer why Is if bridget I 1 don t know mum we niver have anything nice in tb kitchen but hat we some of it upstairs to all campa agn statistics what do statistics show on this subjects 7 asked the campaign man ager that is for you to say sir an the trained mathematician what do you want them to not so great first excursionist niagara falsis certainly a wonderful example of na ture s handiwork second excursionist oh it isn t such a much merely a drop of water the retort courteous miss you may sneer at pet dogs but they re faithful anyway i d rather kiss a good dog than some men air sharpe well well some men are born lucky about the size of it take care of your pennies began the chronic moralizer and yes interrupted the demoralizer and your heirs will not have a care until they are penniless u very likely say pa queried little cohany what are the sins of omissions 7 they are probably those we would have committed had we thought of them answered the old man an explanation why Is the ocean so restless 7 queried the fair passenger well replied the gallant captain one could hardly expect it to rest easi with many rocks in its bed looking forward in hope first hobo aver had a ride in an automobile clarencea 9 second hobo nope but its on matter of a few years at de most be fore de perlice departments adopt dem puck his cynical theory father said the small boy why do they call a speech made at a ban a my son was the answer it Is probably because they are dry |
