Show m mm mm atm m The Herald JoumalCache Sunday June 8 ‘Canned’ festival features film Jayne Mansfield Mamie Van Doren Pia Zadora and Bela Lugosi are just a few of the dubious talents who will be featured in TV's “Canned Film Festival” Friday nights at 11 pm on K$TU-TChannel 20 beginning June 20 nationally ek his reputation was made But what makes this film such a cult classic? The secret is its bizarre artistic pretensions Our monster though he is here to destroy mankind displays the kind of emotional depth rarely seen among invaders of Earth In the midst of his murderous spree he even pauses long enough to deliver an introspective soliloquy questioning his place in the universe It’s almost Shakespeare mmw syndicated series features some of the worst movies ever made according to Liz Hale of the Dr Pepper Company sponsor of the series Introducing each movie and surrounding the commercial breaks will be comedy vignettes involving a fictional theater each written around that night’s movie All revolve around a grand old theater in a small Midwestern town Laraine Newman plays an usherette whose mother plays the organ Other regulars include a wacky waitress the town nerd the They Saved Hitler’s Brain (1963) Having given eternal life to the brain their leader yes Adolf (aka Mr H) in the last desperate hours of the war fanatical Nazis kidnap an American scientist as part of their plan to conquer the world The only person standing between them and the destruction of mankind with the deadly “Nerve Gas G” is the kidnapped scientist’s daughter She traces the villains to a Caribbean stronghold and the fireworks begin! The plot premise aside from being sublimely idiotic and tasteless may seem pretty cut and dried What raises this film to its cult status is the fact that it is actually two films mixed together One a 1950s potboiler beautifully photographed by Stanley Cortez (Magnificent Ambersons) is intercut with super-chea- p 1960s footage involving a completely different cast! The result is a Byzantine masterwork of and a Chinese couple exchange student who never speaks Following are descriptions of some of the terrible movies coming up on Channel 20 Bride of the Monster (1956) scientist experimenting with increasing the size of men tries to “electrically elongate” his victims Wants to start new race Entices our heroine into his laboratory Can she be saved? Climactic finale delivers not only a killer octopus but even nuclear holocaust! "Bride of the Monster" is a testament not to mere mediocrity but to the heroically awful To study the technique of the film's director Edward D Wood Jr is to see particular genius In one scene a secretary picks up a phone and begins talking Wood forgot to dub in a pnone ringing! In another scene Wood proved his resourcefulness After “borrowing” a mechanical octopus from Columbia Studios the stage hands couldn’t turn on the motor Stuck with a model octopus which did absolutely nothing Wood instructed his stage hands to throw Bela Lugosi on top of the rubber creature and hope for the best A dramatic scene ensued with Lugosi flailing his own arms and trying to pull the tentacles around his body The special effects the acting the direction the plot — each element of the film is so ludicrous that the effect is almost lyrical The Crawling Hand (1963) Cautionary tale about picking things up at the beach A crawling hand twitching convulsively is doscovered by a student — one dumb enough to pick it up — who suffers the consequences of his curiosity High-levshenanigans have resulted in the death of a pilot His disembodied hand has come back to wreak vengeance and instigate a rash of stranglings An unbelievable horror epic the movie features a collection of heroically unique performances One of the many highlights is the maiden performance of Sirry Steffen the noted “sex iceberg” Also watch for Alan Hale skipper from “Gilligan's Island” el Doctor of Doom (1960) 'Project Moonbase' Doom" proves that the kind of genius required to produce a legendarily bad movie knows no national boundaries Untamed Women (1952) Robot Monster (1953) Gorilla in deep-se- a diving helmet is n sent from planet to take over Earth With help of “calcinator death ray" he wipes out entire populaton of for one family Monster Slanet except around trying to find them experiences existential crisis Monster meets girl finds true love Before it all gets too disgusting we are interrupted by the end of the world and the return of dinosaurs! With inexplicable plot twists like that no wonder fids film is a genuine Hollywood legend Aside from documenting the most creative use ever made of a bubble machine (doubling as a death ray device!) this cinematic epic also marks the high point of Phil Tucker’s brief career as a director Ro-ma- Las Vegas Hillbillies (color-196- 6) Two wacky country singers on tour in through America get Las Vegas when one inherits a broken-dowsaloon From there it’s aU bright lights beautiful women and a wild gambling scheme The burning question in the movie: Can a hillbilly find success and happiness in Las cast in a Vegas? A movie that’s hard to believe was ever conceived Purportedly not the worst movie ever made about Las Vegas “Las (though in close contention) Vegas Hillbillies" is certainly the funside-track- n once-in-a-lifeti- niest Project Moonbase (1953) The safety of the free world hangs in the balance as dastardly agents try to sabotage America’s space defenses in sci-f- i this earnest cold-wthriller Our heroes a beautiful pilot and manly and crew set off on the maiden orbital flight around the moon They take off from the American Space Station which agents want destroyed En route to their lunar rendezvous they discover that the scientist scheduled for this voyage has been replaced by an enemy imposter In the ensuing struggle rockets are acar co-pil- ot doctor carries out fiendish cidentally set off — forcing the spaceship to land on the moon All is experiments with brain transplants This brainless horror thriller dubbed in well however for our heroes as they English was filmed in Mexico The only find love in each ether’s arms and set up foreign film in dur festival “Doctor of 'the fiM American moonlbase Mad foul-up- s With this picture V Mad 1 best of the worst The The 1986- -1 Camp movie classic about Air Force flyers who get stranded on Pacific island ruled by a tribe of women the last descendants of the Druids These women haven't seen real men in years Only one flyer manages to survive Though these unshamed women capture men as slaves that’s not enough to stop true love The islanders and the flyers become quite friendly Alas a volcanic eruption breaks up the party and destroys the island Only one flyer d Reescapes with his life counted on a psychiatrists’ couch the whole horrifying tale — capture by half-craze- prehistoric lovelies battle with murderous Neanderthals and volcanic eruption — is vividly captured in flashbacks |