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Show The National Enterprise, May 25. 1977 Page nineteen HealthGarde acquires Montana firm HealthGarde Corporation said last w eek it had acquired Montana Inhalation Therapy Services Inc. (MITSI), of Helena, Mont, for an undisclosed sum. Under terms of the acquisition HealthGarde will assume operations of respiratory therapy departments at six Montana hospitals. Jack Shapiro may have the answer to most of lifes problems. Jack has the title role in an advertising agency, is president of the Utah Association of Advertising Agencies and, perhaps most important to anyone who wants to save mankind, he is the founder and president of HUFHOW. Thats the acronym for Humans for a Horizontal World. This cult or social reform movement, if you will, believes all humans should return to the horizontal position and walk on all four limbs. The society contends that such a position would: create an abundance of new industry, prevent wars, stop the awesome desire for speed, eliminate nagging backache and generally promote the general welfare for ourselves and our posterity. According to Ken Zaba, vice president of the HealthGarde Health Care Support Division, the acquisition will add about $500,000 to the annual gross sales of his division. With the 30 MITSI employees HealthGarde will retain, he said, the division now employs over 100 there's only one to choose from! As to the prevention of wars, HUFHOW followers believe that man is only aggressive when he assumes the unnatural vertical stance, just as the Lone Rangers Silver, all grizzlies, save Smokey and other less noted animals. Do this: get down on all fours and see if you want to make any trouble for anyone from that position. where we guarantee the lowest price And the elimination of nagging backache, albeit a hardship for Doans Pills and other medicants, would be an important comfort to the legions of sufferers. but perhaps a few will see past the difficult adjustment and toward a brighter, but not so visible horizon. Practice covertly in the privacy of your home for a few days, then call Jack if you feel you are ready. ... There are a lot of good reasons for going to a certain printer. But if price heads your list, contentions of HUFHOW as listed above. First, the abundance of new industries suggests itself with new vehicles for transportation. Few people, if any, drive their cars in the horizontal position. New homes and this is one spot where conservation of energy comes into play could be built with not in four to Basketball exceed knee pads feet height. ceilings would be essential for all people and rubber sidewalks would seem a necessary luxury. Are the rewards great enough to urge your family and friends to consider, at least, the rewards of HUFHOW? Only a selfish, belligerent person could answrer in the negative. There will be those who cry, Nonsense, Hoax, and even Balderdash" In addition to operation of respiratory therapy and cardiopulmonary services at community hospitals, HealthGarde also designs and manufactures medical computer systems. Weve always gone to them Theyve always treated us right as idyllic chuntering, consider the Obviously the pace of the world would ease to a gentle, yet highly civilized culture with all the appertaining benefits. Eating habits would eventually take on the joys of a Roman part, as neck muscles become stronger. The commute to work aboard large bunk laden busses would become a cat nap or a meditation period. And other work is being done to provide for food. Even as 1 write, an experimental dwarf fruit tree farm is being made ready along verdant mountainsides in Venezuela. (Mountain Grown is the richest kind.) Zaba also announced the appointment of Dan Schulte, president of MITSI since 1970, as branch manager of the Northwestern region serving Montana, Idaho, Washington and Oregon. My cousins place And speaking of posterity. Jack believes the discrepancy in the length of our arms and lees will be corrected by the seventh generation of HUFHOW adherents. 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