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Show mMI Cl A 'V . TV a.w THE CITIZEN 17 TEae Now that the pacifists and internationalists have suffered a decisive defeat in the passage of the fifteen cruiser bill and the signing of the bill by the President, we may well take time to .wonder what they will do next. That their carefully built propaganda machines will not be permitted to rust by disuse can be taken for granted. Already there has been a sign or two of a revival of the onslaughts against citizens military training camps and military training in our high schools and colleges. And it is to be taken also that a new attempt will be made to get Uncle Sam more closely connected with the League of Nations through the Kellogg Treaty for the outlawry of war. It was generally agreed by American statesmen that the Kellogg treaty as ratified by the Senate did not involve the United States in any program of peace enforcement which might entangle us against our will in world politics. But with the treaty passed by the Senate it is perhaps only natural to expect that our internationalists will use this action in an attempt to break down the traditional foreign policy of the United States. The first evidence that something was in the wind came with the introduction in the Senate of a resolution embodying the internationalists ideals of Professor Shotwell of Columbia University. Professor Shotwell is an unofficial diplomat who believes that it is the mission of the United States to get into the European political game with both feet. The resolution provided among other things that in case of war breaking out between two signatories of the peace pact, the United States through the President might decide which is the aggressor nation and refuse to carry on trade, especially, in what might be regarded as munitions of war, witli the aggressor nation. In other words, in case of war between two European nations over a boundary line in the Balkans or a mandate over an ivory colony in Africa, Uncle Sam would set himself up as the umpire in the dispute. It is hardly necessary, to state that this plan has not as yet been greeted with any great degree of enthusiasm by the clear thinking, hard headed statesmen of the country cither inside the Senate or out. In the first place, it is pointed out, whenever a war starts each nation claims the other is the aggressor. This has always been true and always will be. It has not yet been completely I . so-call- 0 ed decided which was the aggressor in our war with Mexico nearly a hun- dred years ago. This is only one example and there are many others, from the time of Julius Caesar down to the World War. Now, when the next war breaks out, with both sides claiming to be on the defensive, if Uncle Sam decides that one of the nations is the real bad actor in the case and refuses to trade with it, he will have in the eyes of the other nation, committed a grave breach of neutrality which can only be settled by force of arms. As a result, having started in as an umpire Uncle Sam will have become one of the gladiators in the combat. Instead of enforcing peace he will' have become entangled in war, especially, if the aggrieved nation is one which is capable of- real fighting and is able to line up a few allies of its own. Of course the internationalists in the United States do not want Uncle Sam really to act as an umpire in such an instance. What they really desire is to have the United States accept the decision of the League of Nations as to which of the nations is the aggressor. Then Uncle Sam will be as effectually tied to the - league as if he were a dues-payimember. This is not getting into the back door of the league as was threatened a few years ago. It is merely sitting on the outside cellar steps and acting as the little yes man of the international political body. The league battle and the World Court discussion in our Senate and in the American press and the American political arena have served one especially good purpose. They have served to teach the American people something about world politics, a sort of education they have needed badly. As a result they are not apt to fall for any of this They know how umpire stuff. popular the umpire always is and what sometimes happens to him when the crowd gets out of hand. ng Lamps for giving a man a synthetic coat of tan without the necessity of going into the great outdoors have been perfected. These will be fine for the boys who get all their exercise at the seashore playing poker. Two French newspapermen fought a duel the other day because one claimed that the other gave him an exaggerated news report. They must take their journalism seriously over there. Mq A bootlegger (no name mentioned as we cant give free advertising) was having a little home gathering and his son brought in a bottle of something to mix with it, or what have you? Tasting the beverage the B. L. exclaimed, This is terrible; why that would kill off the standing army; where did you get that poison? Leaning close to the old man the son whispered, Hush, dad, that is some of your own stuff. Awfully bad weather on silk liosK ery, isnt it? Do know your advertisements? Of coursfe you remember the time-wor- n slogans like, Hammer the hammer, Eventually, why not now? and 1847, but there are you newer ones. For instance: What makes life sweeter? why won't their friends tell em ? Where is film besides in the movies? Why are the cows contented? Whats the reason? Do you want that school girl complexion? What was it 176 women tried to do and only three failed? And what product is advertised with foreign language expressions such as : dessen geschmack nicht nachgemacht werden kann ? Now that the streets are sloppy the favorite auto game is you splash me and Ill splash you. Two young ladies from Boston came west recently and were promptly annexed by two college men. They were discussing the merits of the boys and at the same time trying to use western slang and this is the way they handled it: If you inquire of me, Minerva, my personal opinion is that your masculine homo geni amorata is a deflated Goodyear. You inform the public, Geraldine, but it is unnecessary for you to become incinerated, he is not incomparable in that respect to your unexploded engine of warfare. Can it be possible? Allow me to assert that you are entirely saturated; my. escort is undoubtedly the original saccharine male parent. Diminuendo, my child, he does not appear so prepossessingly torrid to me. Let us banish it from our memory, Minerva, and macccratc it to yonder apothecary to partake of a duplex malted lacteal fluid, if you conceive what I illucidatc. Je disais que oui, and lets make it precipitous. |