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Show I THE CITIZEN LMiiHi1u111u11111u1111111111111u111111iii1111n1111uu11u11uuu111111111u111111111111111frii1111111111111iNi11u1111111111111111111111111111111111u111111111u11111111iHi111111111111111111n111111111111.il OBSERVATION PLANE I i I I riiuuinuuiuinuiiNNHiHuuiuuuiiuinnunuHuuNuuiuuniiuiuiNHuuuNiuniiiiiiiiiiiiuiuuiuuuuiHuiiuiiuiiiuuuuNuiuununnimiuiuuuuuuuHuniiiiuiuuiUi! Oh, What A Fright For Mr. Neslen startled and frightened How they Neslen the other day just after he had been chosen mayor by his fellow commissioners! The reporters called it a fine legal point, but it was about as fine as a ton of rocks. Some one suggested that inasmuch as Mr. Bock was guilty of a felony at the time he was elected he was disqualified to act as mayor. And we were told that the leading law firms were seriously considering this extremely fine point of law. It appears that conviction is a necessary element, said one of the newspapers. It certainly does so appear. Conviction of a felony deprives the malefactor of citizenship and if he be not a citizen he is disqualified to hold office. But it was absurd and fantastic to claim that because Bock had confessed he was disqualified. Confession does not take away citizenship. But Neslen, being in a terrible state of ignorantia legis, if we may say so a from which many malady of our public officials suffer was scared. Mr. If Darmer, high man at the polls next to Bock, could be legally declared mayor, Mr. Neslen would have no more office than a rabbit. He would be neither mayor Commissioner . . - nor commissioner, neither flesh nor fowl. Therefore, he decided to hold on to those ills he had rather than fly to mayoralty pitfalls he knew not of. a live commissioner, quoth he to himself, is better than a dead mayor. Therefore, he decided to remain in statu quo ante bellum. Oh, what a fright! How A Junior Senator Is Always Right Senator King is striving to gain credit with his followers and others by representing himself as one of the original supporters of the candidacy of Mr. Cox. He hurried down to the Ohio Mecca and there had himself incorporated into Cox's army. While not wishing to deny to the senator any comfort he may derive from his association with the victorious candidate, we cannot refrain from calling attention to reports that at San Francisco he was a supporter of the candidate who wore spats A. Mitchell Palmer. Mr. Palmer is the ferocious prosecutor who pursues profiteers in spats and who hoped to arrive at the White House in spats and conduct an administration of spats. There was quite a brisk row among the Utah delegates in San Francisco. The federal ring were anxious to bring triumph to the standard of Mr. Mc- Adoodle Doo. They were incensed against the junior senator because he was for the man in spats and they indignantly ordered him to get into line and play the game. If he was for Cox at that time no one accused him of it. They accused him of other political delinquencies and there was a super-heatedebate in which both the senator and his genial brother, Samuel, were the target for sharpened shafts of criticism. r We are not taking sides in this affair. We do not say that Will and Sam were right and their opponents wrong. In fact, we suspect that both factions were wrong. At all events, everyone who picked either McAdoo or Palmer to win must have felt wrong when the cheering bed world-compellin- g gan. But Senator King is quick at comTossed by every twister ing back. of politics, he knows how to. wrestle with the elements and land on his feet. Thus he appears as large as life and twice as natural at the Ohio camp of General Cox. And he steps gladly into the dazzling spotlight and speaks for Cox as one speaking with authority. He says Cox is for the League and against it, and is admirable whether he is for it or against it. On the other hand, Harding is against the League and therefore execrable. Senator King is against the League and for it. He voted for the Lodge reservations and presumably was as well satisfied with himself as usual. Not that he is against the president. Oh, dear, no, and no! A Democrat who votes against the president is a Democrat still, but a Republican who votes against the president is a wretch. And so our junior senator goes his mad and merry way. What a wag he is, to be sure! He can be for or against a thing at one and the same time and be right all the time. And so can liis candidate, the original Mr. Cox. Isnt it wonderful and inspiring to be a Democrat and always be right? As Senator King would say, My party, may she always be right; but, right or wrong, my party! It will be entertaining, not to say fascinating, to have Senator King re turn to us when the first frosts of the autumn touch the Democratic vines, and carry on a debate with himself on the League of Nations. Twenty-fi- v A MODERN SONNET Per Cent Clorinda, youre the girl for me! I caught you Tuesday darning hose, And even the dullest eye can see Neat patches on your last years More clothes! Your shoe-blacke- hat, d blouse, Your gloves with home-laundere- well-inke- d Mileage finger d tips, Your careful ways about the house, Bring praises to a lovers lips. th aa its . 1 Means better, more efficietu lubrication and thereforw I picture some safe inglenook, A kitchenette, with you the queen. insurance againfR burned out bearings, sco: k: cylinders, carbon troubles. greater Ive heard you say you love to cook The costly spud, the humble bean. Ive learned how simple are your tastes Youre mindful of a poor clerks purse; Scorn her who coin on candy wastes Vow ices bad and lobster worse! Users of Ah, my Clorinda, heed these rhymes Of one whose love will eer prove Monogran true Who, in these fearsome, times, A treasure, girlie, sees in you! high-pric- e Applied Domestic Science, pet, Your household platforms chiefest plank: Out of the salary I get Each week a dime know this. we ought to bank! Why not try it? Ella A. Fanning in New York Herald. Carried by leading garage and dealers. THE COOS AND THE PUMP. Scottish farmer one day called to a farm hand: A TYNG Here, Tam, gang roon and gie the coos a cabbage each, but min ye gie the biggest tae the coo that gies the maist milk. The boy departed to do his bidding, and on his return the farmer asked if he had done as he was told. Aye, maister, replied the lad, I gied em a cabbage each, and hung the biggest een on the pump handle. Exclusive Distributors, Salt Lake &FRE0 R.WOOLLE! Member Salt Lake Stack u( Mining Exchange Telephone Waa. 2885 Mining, Bank and Industrial EDWIN untidy lady was Miss Anabella Scrubb. When she became a member of the Neighbors Gardening Club, My gracious me! And goodness sake! And what do you suppose? She brushed the teeth of her garden rake and darned her garden hose! And when the cabbages appeared in her neat garden beds, She made the cutest nightcaps for the little cabbage heads. G- - Stocks and Bonds Liberty Bonds Bought and at Market Prices 6 West 2nd South Salt Lake City, Utah SPRUCING UP. A very Inter-Mounta- in -- I Sou 1 "T jiuuniiiiiiiiiiiuniuinnHuuinnuniinuuiuHiuuiiunuiiiiiniiniiiiHtf. I TTTELL, since everything; VV is a little dull arouni this neck of the woods vrt' have decided to start some-1 thing. I Hence, the remainder oi this month, we will do Mens Half Soles and lied ; g and Ladies9 for $1.35 All Rubber Heels, 50c. All work absolutely gii , anteed $1.85 .r-- A LADY ON TOUR. Leaving us so soon, Bridget? Yes, mum. I never stay long in one place. I see. Youre one of those Cook tourists. Boston Transcript. ( RIO GRANDE SHOE REPAIRING CO. I E Phillip K. Bubb, Prop. 219 West Third South k auiuimninunuiHinninnHiHnuiuHiNiininniHuuiuinnunuuiMiiiH i -- .tf.V, ,V V . '. J: ' |