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Show The Dixie Sun Page 4 February 25, 1997 Date Rape: the grey line between Yes and No By 1 JAMIE PARAMENTER Hi D1XII .UN I have been lecturing to high school and college student on the subject ot date rape tor about 9 years While indi idual cases ot date rape vary in details, there are some common misconceptions about what date rape is. Two actual cases of date rape follow Melissa had been seeing John for months The couple had been having protected sex throughout the date relationship. When Melissa, age 25, tried to break off her dating relationship with John he forced himself into her home and raped her. Melissa fought and repeatedly screamed, no. Melissa had become pregnant in the rape. Even before Melissa had given birth, John had served his time in prison and was freed. Suzie was 16 when she began dating Karl. Karl gave Suzie a lot of attention. Complimenting her on her looks, her clothes, her hair, even on the way she walked. Karl treated her to dinner and a movie. Afterward, Karl drove to a secluded road and parked. He began kissing her. Suzie being a tease. Date rape occurs in a large number of relationships. Cases like that of Melissa liked his kisses and willingly participated. Soon, Karl began to pet her and put his hands under her blouse. Suzie pulled away and giggled. Karl, some thought there to be no intent of malice at all, that because Suzie did not say no, Karl acted properly. Rape in any content is a violent She act. '5y engaged m light chit chat Kail was not ' 1 Contrary to some opinion, date rape is not an dissuaded He stroked her arms and her legs and soon had his hand in her crotch. She shifted in her seat, crossed her V . r :"fr , J'" - legs, nervously gig- gled and . s-- f act of passion. Date rape, as with all forms of rape, is an act of 5- - 4T and con- trol. ,. There is continued with the no When Suzie found herself lying half naked against the seat with Karl on top of her forcing his penis into her she began to fight, but was unable to free herself before penetration occurred. Suzie began to cry. Karl was angry and blamed her for Edilor-in-ChiTy ler Thorsted AssociateNews Editor Missy Evans Accent Editor Channdia Stewart SportsAd Editor Amber Faulkner absence of malice in date rape. Unless a ? woman and John are often misunderstood. Because the couple had been having consensual sex, John's act of force didn't seem violent to some. The courts saw it otherwise. In the case of Suzie and says, "yes," she is saying no. The lack of tire word "no," does not default to meaning "yes." If a woman wants sex, she will say so. It is a myth that the woman "is asking for it" when she engages in flirting or making out. No woman asks to be raped, not by the way she is dressed and not by her participation in the date. There is no such thing as "tire point of no return." When both partners participate in the act of sex, both have equal responsibility and equal nght to their own participation. When the woman says "yes" to kissing that means, "yes to kissing." When the woman says "yes" to removing her clothes, that means "yes to removing her clothes." When a woman says "stop," to going any further, that means "STOP." Rape occurs not because the woman participated in the beginning, but when the man refuses to stop. There is no physiological characteristic in a man that will not allow him to stop. A woman has the right to say "no" at any point. When a woman has said "yes" in the past, it does not mean she is saying "yes" to future acts. She has the right to say "no" each time. Any sexual act upon a woman without her consent is rape, regardless of whether the man has paid for dinner or not. ef Staff Wnters Brandy Fox, Rebecca Lloyd, Jamie Parmenter, Jeremy Rampton Faculty Adviser Loren Webb The btui is distributed each Tuesday during Fall, Winter and Spring quarters as a publication of Dixie College, its Di lsion of Arts, Letters and Sciences, and Dixie College Student Activities The unsigned editorial on the Opinion Page represents the position of The Sun, as determined by its editorial board Otherwise, the views and opinions expressed in The Sim are those of uidn idual writers and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Sun or any entity of the college Letters to the editor must be typed and must include the name and telephone number of the author Only the name will be printed Names are not withheld under any circumstances The Sun reserves the right to edit letters for length and taste Letters must be submitted by noon on Thursday THE DIXIE SUN Dixie College, 225 S. 700 East, St. George, Utah 84770 (801) 9 ext. 2063 Fax: (801) 652-750- 0, 656-401- sunsun.fam.dixie.edu http:sun.fam.dixie.edusun.html Dear Editor, I have read the marriage article from last week's paper and I would like to give her (and anybody else) some real acceptable advice about the other point of view of the story. There is no question about marriage being happiness because it surely is with your eternal companion by your side to comfort you when weary, to take care of the children when you are not there, and to have that family for your own for all time and eterni- ty Marriage is not a simple wedding that someone just "jumps" into. There is a better way to know whoever it is that you care for them other than "moving in" together. If you both move in together who knows what would happen; Him getting jealous of you and not getting to know other people, beating you whenever, or anything else that is worse. What happened to dating that special someone until you truly know heXshe's the one to marry? Aric Overson |
