| Show II -- - - 11 bie Tribune OPINION The Salt Thursday All Stpkintrr 9 2004 Kerry windsurfs over troubled waters WASHINGTON — Riding in a gans go it fails the catchy test JM1PM I cab recently I listened as the disThe man who doesn't fall down sii meanwhile can't seem to get up patcher gave directions: "That's P Street as in Qneumonia" Each episode of Kerry's follies The dispatcher is a regular co- has the feel of panic in the wake of et' median my driver explained the Republican A "Sometimes he says 'K Street as convention and polls that show In Knowledge' just to make sure George W Bush bouncing to a everyone's awake" strong lead The latest figures ' r Maybe that's what Sen John from a USA TodayCNNGallup Kerry Imd in mind when at- poll show Bush leading Kerry 52 tempting to float a new slogan he percent to 45 percent among rid a Pennsylvania audience likely voters that "W stands for Wrong" He In other unfortunate biurtings KATHLE1 N PARKER 7kvai talking about the war in Iraq ORLANDO Kerry has managed to insult or la"the wrong war in the wrong alienate not only America's allies Illace at the wrong time" but many of the voters he might have hoped to atLater while campaigning in Racine WVa tract On a campaign stop during the Labor Day weekend Kerry referred to coalition forces as "the 'Kery told mineworkers at a Labor Day picnic 411st "W stands for wrong wrong choices wrong phoniest thing I ever heard" While true that the United States has footed lOdgment wrong priorities wrong direction for bur country" most of the war bill and suffered the most casualL":: Or maybe knot Maybe Kerry is tone-dea- f after ties why would Kerry go to the trouble of insultell and can't get anything wrIght these days ing those nations that have stood by the United Whereas the cab dispatcher was making a joke States during wartime? Is this the diplomacy of XIArry seems intent on becoming one nuance? As Vice President Dick Cheney noted Implosion is painful to watch We've all lind days like the month Kerry is enduring You "Demeaning our allies Is an interesting approach for someone seeking the office of the presidency" :know those days when you dig a small hole with comment and pretty soon you're en In yet another wrong turn Kerry followed :Watching sunrise over Beijing Bush's convention speech with a is having a Groundhog Day of Ineptiharangue —quite a trick — that likely alienated tude "W stands for wrong" is rubbing the cat's another voting bloc when he blasted Cheney for his Vietnam deferments JP! backward a punch line without a joke As slo r e ' Republican convention aml polls that show George W Bush bouncing to a ect strong lead The latzstfigures from a USA TodayCNNGallup poll show Bush leading Kerry 52 percent to45 parent among likdy voters lona i ' I ' : sleep-inducin- g rry : ' titude of amnesty toward those who chose paths other than military service Kerry's decision to impugn all those people now miscalculation Yet characterisseems a near-fata- l tic of the entitled class to which he belongs Kerry seeks to blame others especially his campaign managers for his flagging popularity In the past few days he has turned to his party's godfather Bill Clinton and his apparatchiks campaign advisers James Carville and Paul Begala Talk about heaping insult atop injury: No sooner does Kerry escape the shadow of Clinton's autobioMy Life than the former graphical oeuvre-in-onseizes the kliegs with chest pains president Doling advice from his hospital bed in between Interviews with Larry King Clinton urged Kerry to drop the Vietnam gig The rest of the world would like to respectildly add that he also abandon wind- surfing and lose the sporting wardrobe are Given today's climate in which girlie-meterrorists Kerjuxtaposed against ry's daily checklist might include the question: Each episode ofKerry's follks has thefeel ofpank in the wake ofthe 4 r i e n Reminding folks of his own war record apparently in the belief that this audience had only just arrived from another galaxy Kerry noted that he was a highly decorated veteran while Cheney received five deferments Though both statements are true Cheney was among thousands who sought and received deferments for education family or other commitments — all legal and considered honorable at the time Today those other deferred fellows are considerably older and probably feeling a little gnunpy at the implication that they were less than patriotic For decades Americans have tacitly agreed tan at What would Hemingway do? Even so with less than two months left until the election new political directions may come too late If being commander in chief is partly defined by one's strategic abilities in the heat of battle Kerry would seem to have disqualified himself He is alas the wrong man in the wrong place at the wrong time while W it seems stands for "winner" Tribune Media Services --When armchair warmongers are patriots and decorated vets traitors 1" tb54 : BY a 'more sensitive war on terror' ROBERT SCHEER as though will be impressed with our softer side" Vice President Dick Cheney mocked in his convention speech reusing a Joke that wasn't funny the first time This from a man who secured five deferments from Vietnam because he had "other priorities" at the time But it was Cheney's own war "fever" as Colin Powell described it to The Washington Posts Bob Wood ward that was crucial in the president's reckless decision to chase UN inspectors out of Iraq — lest they confirm that the White House was hyping a WMD threat that didn't exist "There is nothing complicated about supporting our troops in combat" said a sneering George W Bush challenging Kerry's patriotism because he dared vote against a version of bill that will neatly an turn around the fortunes of Cheney's old outfit Halliburton So far the Texas-basecorporation has accomplished next to nothing when it comes to bring tog peace stability or even a steady supply of running water and electricity to Iraq and Afghanistan But what should we Spreial to Mt tosAngelas Timm An advertising guru once warned his acolytes never to contlis the thing being sold with the thing itself Good sizzle can always sell a lousy steak : This strategy is on brilliant display these days as the Republicans emerge bristling with talk about "girlie men" and shamelessly attacking decorated war veteran John F Kerry as 'some Ikind of traitorous wimp 'The same leaders who have never apologized for being totally oblivious to the terrorist threat: before Sept 11 continue to Mawkishly exploit the tragedy for political gain all while triunvictories for depeting far-of- f dissolve like mi that mocracy rages under the mildest scrutiny The Republicans' strategy is to counter critique with caricature and they do it with all the panache of an old "Roadrunner" cartoon effectively smashing Kerry with rhetorical frying pans "Even in this post-9-1period Sen Kerry doesn't appear to understand how the world has changed He talks about leading one ake een tied has tough-soundin- re in ide Ped mitt She - ro- - m- - an sin ay- - rs get ure knit the the g d 1 nth nits ing ' rfre t f Zit 4 --- ' lln - e -- — 1141ADLIAN - ad STIAS1140414441 --- -- - (801) can any reasonable person really disagree with Kerry's call for a "more effective more thoughtful more strategic more proactive more sensitive war on terror that reaches out to other nations and brings them to our side"? 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I' 1' ‘ L - oi ll ' ' '''''- 1 - ' - C''''''''''--v i :ID' 1 I I 1 1:47frt'i t t C 0 ED y 1 f yc' - -- i : 7 1 CZ 1 — S - lakinuna down plan you use the Yard Cord Oiler valid on comma plasmas of Won 'warners and agladurents financial Audi through Oti 31 2004 on an approyad Yard Card accounl Ina AA may vary for purchases of 81000 to WOW lb 9 for portlosset of 62001 lo 95000 and 19S Ina current APR 14 9 kw purchases oat 85001 larrarnarn mooltliti bronco diens of 8 50 No payments (Imuipt aids insurance monitor d any) required unai Apre 1 2006 latenta chimes vda be inairatad from dale of with any relined USClit IMMO' premturnal it paid on NS before price Motet 'Pauroa 1 2005 Mended by Waimea' Chstge kuounst 14)t G t - I 'tits l - 0 1 "k f v' '''''- 111 geModels Rebate available on 2004 & 2005 RAM mowers purchased between Aug Octobor 31 2004 5be dealer tor details :on 10y as)s r dr - 1 i i'l I) Ram ZIR oa be C--- I e Save on all of your favorite styles ENTIRE STOCK '''‘ ' tidn 11 te-- II( LT save S CI f 62a17-ooCt5::-r Et i t 11Y stock up " It s About Savings 60 vas 4ii brokers know in their gut that Bush is in way over his head and Cheney is a loose cannon — and that together they have alienated US allies and enflamed the Islamic world while making only marginal gains against But these people don't care because the fix is in See Bush promised at the convention that In a second term he would continue to ensure that tile rich get running mate John Edwards should "get a room" But in a more sober mood SEEKING RESEARCH STUDY VOLUNTEERS IDAIlakytir ItLitk I If rr0(1) IC Inv-- IMOIMMI CALL FOR MORE INFORMATIONCONFIDENTIAL SCREENING ' Study mlatrA medical examslab tests provided at no cost Time and travel compensation available for qualified participants I - I union-bustin- g it takes And if you disagree with this son of privilege — a man who never earned an honest dollar on his own but acts as if the lives of the unemployed and working poor are of no consequence — well you must be an "economic girlie man" At least so says Arnold lona ire mega-mil- l the macho Schwarmnegger warrior who has Hollywood combat never experienced himself This cartoon is all a great Joke except for the price we will pay if the audience buys into it We are not watching a movie and the stakes are very real Bush's convention acceptance speech was a clear ideological endorsement of the neoconservative vision that America can and should dominate the world with military force Four more years of George W Bush would mean more blood flowing — and none of it would be fake returns Pheumatold Arthritis Genital Herpes skin Infections t richer no matter how many unfair tax breaks wasteful military contracts or laws This is the OnedIlan cartoon we live with every day that Bush remains resident in which supporting troops means sending them to die while occupying a deeply troubled country that posed no threat to us in which a man hit with "only shrapnel" when serving his country is considered akin to a traitorfor speaking out against an immoral war when he -- -- - ) I - i:of 11 expect from a man who used his family name to get out of serving in Vietnam but has yet to condemn those among his staff and financial who contributors floated the phony Swift boat ad attack on Kerry's wartime courage ' This is the Orweftian cartoon we live with every day that Bush remains president in which supporting troops means sending them to die while occupying a deeply troubled country that posed no threat to us in which a man hit with "only shrapnel" when serving his country is considered akin to a traitor for speaking out against an immoral war when he returns In this "Looney Tunes" matinee the loudest voices are thpse of the blustering schoolyard bully who crudely masks his own Inadequacies by calling others sissies and punks The GOP faithful ate up Cheney's barroom riff on alleged Kerry's "sensitive" side just as they did earlier when Bush's shill TV talk-shohost Dennis Miller made the crack that Kerry and t 1 1 di CAld 9 S |
