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Show :2w The Salt Lake Tribune, Sunday, December 8, 19(15 Some ways to eliminate stress in family r ?' By Ann Kilbourn Tribune Lifestyle Writer u.Your life is a mess because of the tp latress. You are not alone. Stress Is an part of life. Skills to deal with Qua stress have to be learned . . . take: n" .. s , A - -- even earned, according to Dolores prran. Ms. Curran, Littleton, Colo., author ; ' Stress and the Healthy Family, Sinston Press, $12.95),to was in Salt discuss the recently Symptoms of, and solutions to, family $tress. It is a constant sense of urgency $nd hurry with no time to relax; tension that causes sharp words, sibling fighting, misunderstandings, a need to escape to ones room, car, garage a feeling of frustration at not getting things done; a feeling that time is passing too quickly; a desire for a simpler life; little time for oneself andor little couple time; a confining sense of guilt at not being and doing everything to and for all the people in ones life. ' This, according to Ms. Curran, is a handful for those experiencing such stresses. The origin of these stresses Ues in societys expectations, church attitudes and school policies, Ms. Cur- ran Establishing competition in stressdoesnt work. Neither does accommodation. Here is a circumstance in which one person tries to lessen the conflict through compliance. When this happens, the accommodating person is left with a nagging feeling that he or she has relinquished control." The two ways that diffuse the stress are compromise, a short-terg resolution and collaboration, a situation where feelings are considered and the conflict is talk about money; 2. dont link with earning power, 3. develop money management skills; 4. teach children in the family about money. Five Methods There are five ways to deal with stressful situations, Ms. Curran said, but three dont work. Oh, they sound good but there are flaws. Avoidance is the first way to deal with stress. This does not work, she said. Second is competition where theres one winner, one loser. 1. ful times self-estee- W-1- E0HSMBGM18 i hn I'" H 1 ! ii It (Iff Stress and the Healthy Family Traits Qf a Healthy Family. In general, the country has developed a progressively negative attitude about the family. There seems to be a massive feeling of low and an overall contusion that family life isnt strong, he observed. think this just isnt true. The fabric of the American family is solid. Things are looking good for families," she stressed. g The stress-effectifamily, to Ms. Curran, is one in which ngths build upon each other. self-estee- m .I ac-lin- If) ill ity fill luhll It i tvtt ! Iffl solid brass french horn doll baskets fits a cabbage patch or any 14-1- 8 doll values to 7 99 15 inches values to 22 95 sale 11.95 hearth sale 4.95 brooms ' h a sort of spinoff of my book o o o o It. fftifff. pin said. Family Stress Observing and interviewing 600 families who successfully handled Stress, Ms. Curran synthesized their grinning techniques. These solutions are the most mutually satisfying, Ms. Curran observed. There is empathy for ihe other's feelings, and communications have been strengthened." Conflict Resolved Such stress breakers are valuable because a conflict has been resolved and the family feels stronger for having made a resolution, she ! said. People who live in highly stressed situations will have a tendency not to look for solutions. They look for Column I See Page In her book, author Dolores Curran has studied stress and stressful situations experienced by many American families. e The family first, views stress as a normal part of family life; second, shares feelings as well as words; third, develops and creative-copin- g skills; fourth, makes use of support people and systems; fifth, is adaptable. How to Handle Stress Stress is a normal part of life, according to Ms. Curran. It is nothing new. Your parents and grandparents experienced stress, she observed. stress-effectiv- conflict-- resolution Intrigued when she learned that adults rated money as most stressful, Ms. Curran analyzed this information. What was interesting was that the problem was not a matter of insufficient funds. It was a matter of how that money was spent that caused the stress. When dealing with money, earning it and allocating funds, Ms. Curran said that there are strategic methods e a family uses. 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