Show ) f - i iSNawsstatiiiaBtiiieSSSBNiweSdSeiei MtrTrt-i- rtwfefti TTumrfT nmu ifciW 7 if iitf Wfti'wilirafliTinniyrikii iijrT" euTf-iarr- Sunday December 6 1987 The Salt Lake Tribune W5 f How people go about finding solitude By Margaret Allen Knight-Ridde- r Newspapers WICHITA Kan — Shiny black laces of highway summoned the young man across the grassy plains of Wyoming At night his bedmates in the open fields were the sunflowers First solitude Then fear “I tell you pretty quickly you jump up and start fidgeting That’s a mighty big sky” It’s been 20 years but Ray Browne the chairman of the department of popular culture at Bowling Green University in Ohio remembers that trip “Yeah I’ve been scared" Solitude: It's a great place to visit A getaway from stress to discover the self the world the universe Anyone can go Not everyone can stay There are no maps no rules no limits The key is your roadability Some find solitude in the wet forested hills 60 miles southeast of Spring-fiel- d Mo off Highway 5 in a Benedictine monastery Another found it crossing Death Valley on foot You can get there from here There are flights out But some people get there staying home “It’s a frame of mind" Browne says “It doesn't mean an afternoon on the lake or even a week on the lake Solitude is a frame of mind which assures that the person is indifferent to the world around him You Dog of an answer have to recognize a kind of inner peace I hate to sound corny about it” Jim Jones 48 a St Joseph Mo stockbroker cools out at a Benedictine monastery “You get your priorities straightened out” he says “You can get so caught up in worldly things so as not to really enjoy the simple things I’m not a philosopher and I don't pretend to be one But sometimes a lot of things come through in solitude If you just listen instead of talking you might find out things about yourself” For 16 years he’s made an annual weekend trip there A husband and father of five Jones says he leaves the monastery refreshed It sits on a promontory over the Missouri Valley On a clear day you can see St Joe Mo — or farther site Assumption Abbey in Ava Mo welcomes guests too Its 3000-acr- e is isolated in the wet lush Ozarks Those with or without a faith are welcome to visit the monks At Ava there’s no television no daily papers no radio “It’s not a country club” says guestmaster the Rev David “They come here to get away from home and to get away from the work To just be able to be free and be themselves For those that are very active it takes a to settled two down they’re so used to the things to or down calm get day outside” The monks don’t set a price Instead visitors pay what they can afford In the last few years there have been more guests For some a monastery isn’t their style They believe solitude lurks within the crevices of a riverbank or dangles from the end of a pole One such endorsement dates from the 1600s in the classic book The Compleat Angler subtitled The Contemplative Man ’s Recreation by Izaak Walton “I have found it to be a real truth that the very sitting by the river’s side is not only the quietest and fittest place for contemplation but will invite an And an ingenious Spaniard says that ‘rivers and the Angler to it inhabitants of the watery element were made for wise men to contemplate and fools to pass by without consideration’ ” It was fishing that first hooked Colin Fletcher on solitude but now he walks t The Fletcher a native of Wales now living in California is author of The Complete Walker a modern classic that is also the bible for walkers backpackers hikers and campers During the late 1950s Fletcher walked one summer from Mexico to Oregon Later he was the first to walk the length — within the rim of the canyon — of Grand Canyon National Park Unlike Browne Fletcher isn’t frightened by solitude “I live alone I guard my solitude" His phone number’s unlisted His mail is delivered to a box number Few know his address “Most people don’t have much solitude I have a lot" He gets there through nature and finds that solitude sweeps the mind clean of societal clutter “There’s a lot of noise a lot of static that isn’t relevant that gets in the goddamn way” Fletcher says “All the stupid things you have to do in looking after the house and in looking after the money I want to do the real things” That doesn't mean he thinks a lot of deep thoughts out there in the wilds Rather it’s as though the edges of the self melt “When you’re on your own you tend to get away from the linearity of words" he says “I see myself more in the context of the deer and the foxes and the ants and the ladybugs and the trees” Slipping into solitude takes a different gear and alters perspective “It takes you time to make the transfer into it” he says “You get deeper and deeper in it and it’s’ a wonderful feeling You get moments of much greater awareness but they’re rare You’re aware of your position in the whole shape of things You’ve escaped the whole human nonsense" Fletcher doesn’t always get there by walking He knows some shortcuts “I have a place where I go watch the waves break on the ocean" he says "And if that’s too energetic I’ll go and watch the grass grow" belongs all to Ann Dear Ann Landers: I just read vour advice to “Single Mom” and I haven’t been this mad since you told women who didn’t iron their husband's shorts that they were lazy That was another example of how out of touch you are with middle-clas- s people Please tell me Ann Landers when should this divorced overworked exhausted mother go bowling and do volunteer work? She gave you her schedule and I didn’t see any time except the hours between 10 pm and 6 am She wasn’t wallowing in self-pit- y as you implied She was simply stating the facts And believe me she spoke for thousands of us who are raising our children alone e to support our We work kids with little or no help from their fathers We also cook clean wash iron sew pay bills grocery shop nurse sympathize nurture love support educate encourage mow trim go to PTA and pray a lot I chose to do these things alone after learning that my husband was having an affair with his business partner But unlike Single Mom I do not feel that I have a lousy life I am a hundred times better off without the jerk What’s more I have gained a new sense of from learning that I can make it alone t r Give us a break Ann We expected better from you — Struggling in Tennessee Dear Tennessee: Ouch! Here’s another letter on the same subject: Dear Ann Landers: Have you gone completely bonkers? Your advice to “Single Mom” threw me I can’t believe you wrote it It sure didn’t sound like you That poor woman gave you a comn on her schedule and plete it was a killer How did you have the unmitigated gall to suggest to her that she do charity work go to the laundromat to meet men and join Parents Without Partners? That poor dame has all she can do to hold down a job do her marketing housework cook clean wash iron help the kids with homework juggle the Checkbook and get five hours of On tell us you were on vacation and an assistant wrote that lousy answer — Georgette in Atlanta Dear Georgette: I wish I could pass the buck but alas that dog of an answer was mine In fact they are all mine True I’ve never been a single mom but that is no excuse You don’t have to be a cow to know what milk full-tim- self-respe- run-dow- sleep Generally you are compassionate sensible but this time you missed the mark by a mile Please ‘and 2 ° dLji ° Hurry In For The Best is I should have told her to ask relatives friends and neighbors to give her a few hours away from the kids instead of birthday or Christmas presents This woman is in desperate need of time for herself and she must figure out a way to get it Dear Ann Landers: We have all read the news stories and watched on TV the fascinating and horrifying account and magnificent rescue of the little girl who fell in an abandoned well 29 feet below the earth in Midland Texas The heroic efforts of strangers who risked their lives as they tried to reach Jessica McClure brought out the best in all of us But there is esson to be learned that should not be lost Jessica’s Jesyoung mother left sica and four other toddlers for “just a moment” while she went to answer the phone In that “one moment” something awful occurred And that is the way it usually happens Tell those mothers that no phone call is that important — Sarasota Dear Sara: You told them in a way that should be unforgettable and I thank you ° ° Sale Effective December 6th thru December 12th Selection! 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