| Show 2W The Salt Lake Tribune Sunday September 11 1988 More women opt for keeping names By Nancy Hobbs Tribune Lifestyle Writer Over the years Mrs John Doe has asserted herself and made the transition to Jane Doe It's entirely likely that m the near future she could have another change of heart and reclaim her “maiden” name Jane Smith Or perhaps she and John will decide to hyphenate names and become John and Jane Smith-Do- e (or Doe-Smit- u What name a woman chooses to take or keep when she marries can no longer be assumed With most of today’s young women working before marriage many starting careers and making names for themselves in their professions the notion of haveveryone with a ing to “new" name is rejected with increasing frequency “It is difficult to change everything when people have come to know you by one name” admitted social worker Tina Martin “When women are professionals or visible m any way tney concern themselves about what name they go by If they're not visible or professional I don't think they worry about keeping their name instead of taking the name of their husbands” With increasing numbers of divorces and blended families a lot of women are reclaiming their maiden names and maintaining them even m subsequent marriages Ms Martin noted “I find myself being less assuming now It used to be that if you kept your maiden name the assumption was made that you weren’t married You lust can’t assume that anymore There are still some people who do make assumptions however she admitted And there are those who hang onto tradition and seem unwilling to accept anything different including a woman's decision to keep her surname They are determined to call both husband and wife by his name bel received a public apology amid much national press from U S Senior District Judge Hubert I Teitel-bauafter he threatened her with a jail sentence for using her maiden name and the courtesy title “Ms ” The judge finally acquiesced and agreed that the choice was Ms “The person who has had the hardest time adjusting to me keeping my name is my mother who insists on calling me ‘Mrs John Erlacher’ ” said Marilyn Likins a special education consultant “It’s something I accept I guess it’s hard for her to deal with “As long as she doesn’t order me a big box of engraved stationery with that name I guess it’s OK” Ms Likins joked Other women agreed that family most often parents are the last to accept daughters’ allegiance to their given names But because they are family those oversights are often allowed to slide But for others who refuse to acknowledge a woman’s choice there are corrections and if needed more and sometimes corrections Seldom does a person go so far or have the position to try and demand — as did a federal court judge in Pennsylvania recently — that a woman assume her husband's last name Even Pennsylvania attorney Barbara Wolvowitz married to Jules Lo- - Wolvowitz’s Although having a reputation and professional contacts using her maiden name is a reason often cited by a woman for not assuming her husband s name a familiarity and fondness for her own name is an important consideration “The biggest reason I kept my name even more important than having written and been published by that name which are valid reasons” said Ms Likins “is that I like Likins I was Likins for 31 years It didn’t make sense that just because 1 was marrying John I should be someone else That was my identity “But that is the argument my mother bought the least" she said with another laugh At the time of their marriage seven years ago Ms Likins and Mr Er- - 4 THAT SCRAMBLED Unscramble these Six Jumbles one letter to each square to form WORD GAME by Henri Arnold and Bob Lee 1 f six ordinary words DRAUWP ’ How to care for wicker 3 YALMIN rmn By United Press International One of the advantages of wicker furniture is that it is relatively easy to maintain but a few rules do apply to keep your furniture looking showroom new for years Marvin Girouard senior vice president for Pier 1 Imports America's largest retailer of wicker furniture offers the following suggestions on proper care — In the old days it was believed that wicker items should be hosed down periodically but today that theory doesn’t hold water It s better to just wipe the item down occasionally with a cloth dampened with water and a mild household cleaner — Prevent dust from building up by using a feather duster or the soft brush attachment of your vacuum cleaner — Bentwood-styl- e rattan can take a good furniture polish while darker shades of rattan can use a lemon oil cleaning now and then — Glossy-finishe- walnut-colore- d Now arrange the circled letters to form the surprise answer as suggested by the above cartoon PRINT YOUR ANSWER IN THE CIRCLES BELOW v’ a--1 A T T N -- Now back In alock Jumbla Book No 36 la available for S3 SO which Includoa and handling front Jumbla clo thia nowapaper P 0 Boa 43SS Orlando FL 33802-434-posQ 4 Include your nama addraaa and zip coda and make your check payable to Newapaperbooka See Jumble Answer r “That lasted about four months and then I went back to my maiden name ” The reason she explained was that they started getting four sets of mail bills weren’t credited correctly and computer programs didn’t seem capable of accommodatlast name ing the "We just decided to give the hyphenated name up But it's important for me to hold on to my last name ” The decision of Joe and Roberta Duke-Rosato hyphenate their last name was part of the “equal-partner- " doctrine they accepted with marriage explained Mr Duke-Ro-sa- 't ti “When we met I was Joseph Duke and she was Roberta Rosati When we decided to get married a requirement of marriage for us was that we have the same last name "Asking her to change her name Roberta Rosati which 1 think has a lot of music to it didn t seem fair to ask I didn t particularly want to become Joe Rosati either ” The decision to use his name first which is the reverse of most American women and couples who choose hyphenation had no particular reason behind it Mr Rosati said “It just seemed the ”obvious fcir and equal thing to do Deciding whether or not to assume the last name of her husband was “never an issue" in the mind of Cynthia Boshard assistant director of the W’omen's Center at Cottonwood Hospital She is married to Mark Freed “I'm known by Cynthia Boshard To use the other name — Freed — wouldn t seem natural ” Again the couple’s families are the last to accept the difference “My own grandmother thought I was breaking the law by not taking his name" Ms Boshard said Gifts from her grandmother m the form of checks came to "Cynthia Freed ” e The addition of children in a family raises as many or more questions about a couple s departure from “tradition " — Tribune W-- 3 Photo by Staff AJ Finding A Pediatrician s Kid Stuff nicks d her admittedly long “title ” Looking back on the transition from a newlywed pleased to be “Mrs Raymond Haight” to the point she is now Ms Jordan Haight said her “awareness" was gradual “Twenty years ago I took the initiative and out of style for the time began introducing myself as Mary Ellen Haight rather than Mrs Raymond Haight I really liked it when I did that it felt very good ” Then she started wondering why she had been willing to “completely drop" her maiden name particularly when her identity was largely defined by the name with which she grew up She reinstated “Jordan” with her married name and when the “Ms " title was presented in the '60s accepted it gladly as making good sense “I am not ’Mrs ’ Haight" she now says “I'm not ashamed of Haight But it felt good to me to use both names ” although it is long As a mother of four grown sons Ms Jordan Haight said she’s seen two of her daughters-in-lachoose to keep their maiden names The freedom and growing acceptance of women to make that choice makes her happy But how free is a woman to make that choice after divorcing a man who’s last name she assumed during the marriage’ Both Ms Likins and Ms Boshard said their children have the last name of their fathers which is not an obstacle for any of the parents but takes some explanation to clarify for e personnel pediatricians and nurses From another perspective Mary Ellen Jordan Haight formerly of Salt Lake and now residing in San Francisco began realizing the importance of her maiden name 20 years ago after almost 20 years of marriage Now during a recent Salt Lake visit she said she's very possessive about the name she was born to and corrects those who don’t include it m day-car- That question was presented to the U S District Court recently when a Salt Lake County woman was refused the right to change the name on her driver's license from her former husband's surname to her given name Suit was filed by Wendy Jean Jorgensen who now prefers to use her birth name Wendy Jean Alldredge against Judy Larsen an employee of the Utah Department of Public Safety Ms Alldredge took her current driver’s license her birth certificate and a copy of her divorce decree with her when applying for a new license with her maiden name She considered that the first step in reclaiming her name as that is most frequently used for identification Because Ms Alldredge’s divorce decree did not specify that she would go back to her maiden name however the state employee refused to issue a new license in that name “When you get married all you need is your marriage license and they Department of Public Safety change your name automatically no questions asked" Ms Alldredge complained “But if you get divorced and take in your divorce decree they won’t accept going back to a maiden name without a court order “I had that name when I was born and until I was married Why can’t I have it back’” Aie ’re iorel JUST DIET Why not gel senous this year and actually LOSE WEIGHT DON’T Dental appliance Several of Salt Lake s lose your unwanted weight with the WEIGHT-GUARoutstanding dentists have been chosen to work with this most 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