Salt Lake Tribune | 1931-12-13 | Page 2

2 TIIE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE SUND AY HORNING DECEMBER A 13 4 1031 WOE 1 RUM! MAHATMAS BEFORE THE KING Sleuths Qird for Tilt Reporters Who Peep Through Veil of sorship Doomed to Bloodhounds WHAT TO DO ABOUT With King Hush'Hush He always tries to Improvise And every time he fails Solo: He shivered and shook as he gave the sign For the stroke he didn’t deserve When all of a sudden his eye met mine And it seemed to brace his nerve For he nodded his head and kissed his hand 'And he lifted his glance to heaven So his simple art quite touched my ITI CALL RESERVES Cen- heart — I shifted to DRY OR WET NONE ESCAPE FUN THRUSTS en It or Pork On Geneva's shore I’ll further exPrinciple? (Continued from Put One) plore We Wine? Beer And I'll further capitulate Cash" ol As I never cease to strive for peace the evening his remarks likewise Need Money! ) He carries tincup I’ll change to ten-telug guarded by club rules eight Nutt— Money? Who said money? No Gridiron dinner Is complete Chorus: G O P slder Mr Paderewski the foremost without a touch of prohibition and Who has money?to Help athedime His terlble tale you can't assail budget and cut $59 000000 from the to a none give With truth It quite agrees Intermingled with acts dealing purelyto Is there cause? estimates “Isn't that splendid?” pianist In the world navy devoted were skits worthy with politics His perfect plan to help japan said the admiral Muffled cheers reJoBorah — I do not car for Polish distreasurer our It is Fess— naval royal situation the Manchurian Amounts to a disease sembling a groan greeted his anHoover's wrong about that! music armament and the troubles brought seph R Nutt chancellor of the war nouncement The Censor the Censor on by the Navy League attempted chest I prefer Beethoven to Chopm but Admiral Pratt In a among song of Japan was When the Three Gandhis Enter censorship of White House news other things told the other admirals: introduced president "“"'you people have a situation there he greeted everyone "but Democratic ascendancy in the House Moses— Impoverished treasury of must judge for yourselves Interfere never it “For lest ruin I of Representatives and other topics the not for publication” Continuing he which you party which abolished poverty This correspondent incareer Translator— of current Interest Incident to these my said: “I have one object in life to Nutt— O is thre no cash? I never disagree various acts there paraded across the whether you think Poland quires (Orchestra Moses— Poor Nutt! And I'm never known to sail In the encourage the mafcs production of should have access to the sea stage club members Impersonating Boiah winhair shirts and force their use as Mahatma Gandhi Senator lury of a gale strikes up Hindu music Enter three ter underwear by the critics of the Borah— Europe will never be stabAnd I never never go to sea" Mrs Mabel Walker Wlllebrandt Kandhls Norris Johnson and Brook-hart- ) SenRaskob administration" He sang his respects ilized until It has better bathing Bishop Cannon John J Secretary of the Navy Adams came to such as Borah Johnson and other I favor giving Deauville to ator Fess Senator Moses Speaker Johnson— Woe woe woe upon you aboard He was greeted as the "mas-tado- n critics in congress and voiced his wish beaches Garner the Insurgent senators the Norris— Flee from the wrath to Germans If Poland can’t bathe the of Massachusetts the great to compel all “to dwell In a private in salt water then I am in favor of venerable Secretanr of the Treasury come great great great grandson of two cell and drink water with Senator abolishing the Baltic rebellion along with a colorful array of admirRebellion Brookhart— als detectives Japanese and presidents" Accompanied by his “sls-te- Fess" rebellion Translator Seeks Light and his cousins and his aunts’’ Just then a messenger handed to not luck— three Moses— More Hoover Translator: How could that be Adams sang his way toto the hearts “The Three Gandhis" was woven Gandhis Instead of one under this the following mes- done? of the admirals by defying the “little sage: together to give the guests a better administration Borah — I am not familiar enough navy" men to congress understanding of the trials and tribriver salt “Roving bandit gangs from Costa are We the boys Norris— there ulations of the President and his am Mahatma George W Norris Admirals Nonplussed Rica and Colombia have approached with the physical conditions could to determine what arrangement party while a meeting atop the Em- My party right my party wrong but non- within 200 miles of the Panama Cawere assembled admirals The be made but I do know that until pire State building In New York right or wrong my party la always plussed by the array of sisters and nal zone so I have landed the entire good swimming is provided there made famous by Its eternal host porMa the and and Pa tarthe army raise threatens to aunts Fess standing who cousins who asked and and The Three Gandhis Senators Norris King will be no disrobing— I mean disarmvronj trayed some of the embarrassments Johnson— I am Mahatma Hiram W they might be “These” explained the children are fleeing northward ament — in Europe The discussion of the Democracy What’s on the the where battalion and iff Hiram pact Kellogg pins Brookhart lost Johnson confront safety was of never In the whose leader heart secretary Translator— What do you think way up to the air between A1 Smith Johnson Into the wilderness of the president’s fight to hold down Monroe doctrine is concerned?" T should be done about Russia? Governor Roosevelt John J Raskob which vsent and off all "It’s war’’ rushed As out came Shouting Is never to It members “are tell naval breaks of heart It you my appropriations repentance Borah— I am in favor of abolishing Roosevelt— How’s everything with Your winter garment and some of the former Democratic Armageddon of the navy league— otherwise known to grab up arms and get In the fray latitude and longitude true 1932 approaches I feel the old mystic These artififling you? White House “censorship" having presidential candidates Interrupted Hoover concentrate Is A Male as D like Somehow the R’s for fine Our I a has little of slogan but time urge My way How’s The bird of cial lines lead to war Greenwich and Smith—Good everything by a visitation from the spirit reof been in much the public prints them” Sang Adams: out campaign is: To flutter — and the bird is on the But it must not turn to wine— with you? Thomas Jefferson uncovered some cent months because of attempts of the equator should both be wiped Omar— Ain’t it awful Mrs Wlllethe banners beat the drums — Roosevelt — Good would require a resoluwingl went When sea was to a ac- Of course it I I lad things that worry the party tnat “Hoist to White House the the restrict brandt? to California here he comes!’’ seems In the ascendancy Smith—Good As office boy to an L L B tivities of newspaper men assigned tion of congress If 41youto are going Mrs W— Positively Mr Kahyyam! Aha here we are In Washington' Brookhart— I em the Mahatma of Roosevelt — Well so long AL a latitude of the French assign a summons with I smile' served Views Noble Experiment the to “cover” of the the Brook-hadoings presi and Let us find a tavern Let us drink Member— Well diow about beer? the Sahara Smith Wlldman 6mith— So long Frank so bland give the Italians a mere 38 what dent could not be Ignored Omar Khayyam returned to earth 2d Member— Yes how about beer? and be merry I Bring us wine— what Tell it not In Dei Moines shout — So long is there of peace? hope Roosevelt a And to Indictments the I copied Omar— Who are you gentlemen? Producei Five Detectives to seek enlightenment on the noble it not In the street of Muscatine ho bring us wine I Translator — Do you think the disSo Smith— hand round long big American 1st Member— I am the Without attempting to say whether armament conference will succeed? experiment that Is being tried out In I started with the engineer and look Roosevelt (to others)— Ocntlemen Sol- oI made a reputation with a founLegion Borah— Not unless the tides are censorship was or was not proposed the United States The surprises that at me now— In the caboose we can go ahead now There were tain American pen come am the fill Member— I fill Come all up 2nd up the eup confronted him were many and when Norris— O King Fess we ere by the Whit House the Gridiron club made more elastic Take England for of things Governor Smith And now am a of tha I ruler couple beer unde-flleWe think of d Labor can the Federation each ar- example she has a mean high water-v- ery banished by Bishop Cannon and Sen- Republicans slmon pure and produced five detectives the U S N I had to settle first Come bring out a bumper for every would bring recovery from the our party has andSmith— mean I might add — of 50 feet ator Sheppard he seemed content to Unfortunately rayed as Sherlock Holmes In the a Yeah couple Inman we Hammond discussed the latest John On dim the other hand the Hungarians retreat to that bourne where his phi- temporarily bolted us Hence Hays light proclaiming Is they what Raskob— The first question Hoo-vUncork the best bottle and all have a Oma-rhimself "Chairman Hammond Fore- White House mystery What they had have no tides at all It is just one losophies do not run counter to the tend to overthrow you and Mr shall be our Democratic platform? make whoso let Well I I say may dram man Hammond more proof of the failure of the the president's to say was this: dictates of Volstead Roosevelt— Oh no The first ques- For a or buy friend" appeared'on the scene InPresident Hoover’s troubles with Fess— Begone you First detective — Boys we’re up league Jolly old fellow is Omar tion Is who shall run upon the platis gone with Our I prohibition clay music were of set to tariff Read one the Translator — How can you change the proclamation the Navy League Gardiner an author against it mahatmas or we'll raise Khayyam quiring for dry of the navy league the king the ebb and flow of the tides Mr “Pinafore" being revived as the ve on safety pins and leave not a loin form The head Introduce nimself quaking Protocol Chief Raskob— have familiar If I my way nobody But fill us with the old done Borah? hide while the “Mikado” was appro cloth among you! admitted his identity Taking from Second— (Reads document Protocol — Pardon me Mr Khay will run on It They'll swim juice a well worn sheet Ham- with wax seal and ribbons) In this Borah — Well I am just a little his pocket prlately dug from the archives and set (Roll call bell rings ) us let Raskob Hull— recover don't and Mr we Methinks by might yam I am the chief of protocol the to new words to shed light on the mond demanded of Gardiner If he great crisis with the 1932 election vague as to the details but the first Fess— Hark the bell for a roll call bring up controversial Issues by situation in the Orient more partic- In tha senate! almost here and the Democrats al- thing is to change the position of the had written the follow Ira: official guide and greeter of the state ! If want— We— Hull beer Raskob— Senator Chorus— you keep Table 1 shows the comparative ready scraping their feet on the pal- moon I wouldn’t abolish the moon ularly our connection with It come to welcome you I Te DemoBill out DepressUm a of Issues department Remedy strikes controversial accompaniup (Orchestra The predicament of the Republican of the hands and at table ace doormat the undersigned needs but I would shift it a little to the left this Is the roll cratic conference there’s nothing left in the name of Herbert Hoover ment for “Down Where the Wurz- - 2strength The Farmer’s Almanac will explain party on the eve of the meeting on Watson— Heavens the dummy should have led clubs” relief from frozen consequences to the to talk Can-heFlows”) about depresbill remedy The freedom of the press is a noble what I have In mind Tuesday of the Republican national call on the Henry L Stimson and James Comment Refuses Gardiner 1 In 1920 oof of senators As SolCox— candidate the the act salaries sion by cutting non Jr feeblecommittee waa set forth in an but somewhat Surgest Fighting War Again the neat-beslst we mustgree Gardiner refused to 'comment experiment All — Whatl “The Three Gandhis" announcement Omar— I thank you sir Which Is Down down down with minded in conception and damnably Translator So flows flows 1 flows which 1924 Hamcandidate of don’t — the Davis—As Is you see no hope of Norris Comrade the Gandhi you Fess Waving accusing paper the way to the nearest drinking tavbeing made that Mahatma annoying in practice To further good It’s a dismal drink lull of sorrows mond exclaimed: think we'd better stand together on Insist we must agree Look whaternJ to attend the Republican pow-wous of action and PXah-Yamong feeling unity es and I will state mv and cares and woes “What language Your statement happened to Jim Cox and me As the scene opened Chairman Fess this? Protocol— Ahem I see I must There is just one way for It's always depressing you know Is false Inaccurate misleading dis I decree Smith— And to me Norris— Indeed Comrade Fessi here- position in the role of "King Fess" entered be that First you with our native customs printed nothing — that is true get out of this mess Let's agreeable and untrue It Is downright attended by Bob Lucas executive sec Johnson— All shoulder to shoulder Adds Campaign Slogan ’here are no drinking taverns Mr until announced with due cere- Europethetowar over again Bring the I cannot drink it and neither can embarrassing This has met with the after of the fight ‘the Wo have prohibition retary of the national committee Brother Fess Royal we are agreed Kahyyam mony by Keeper Good then Raskob— kaiser back from Holland and send you— greatest displeasure In the highest Brookhart— As we were saying a Senator Watson of Indiana RepubOmar — By the beard of the Sultan us let cheer tonational For bring statement to Belgium knd I good and Senator moment ago we’re solidly with you I shall Issue a publlo quarters” vou say there is no drinking to Amerlican senate leader Second that any slave of the royal Herbert Hoover back good beer— continued Hammond household found speaking audibly to shall be satisfied “Gardiner” morrow saying “By agreement among ica? Moses bt New Hampshire wearing dear Doctor Fessi where prosperity flows! "in your absence a Jury has met— a an outsider be incarcerated on one of Translator— Now let me present the Protocol —I did not say there Is no That's rap and bells and the costume of a Fess— As always I can count upon the leading Democrats of the nation Member— Let us nominate Omar Polish prime minister of five Impartial per— united ranks In Jury we court jester stalwart have said I commissions boys prohibition Kahyyam for president and march sons consisting you Intends to raise drinking— none of whom are your friends myThird that any newspaperman Prime Minister — As provided in “Make war for the king the roral let us march forward on the prln the Democratic party Omar Prohibition by law? on congress with a platform for beer We are now 2 Sec 9 of the Peace of Limburg subA book of law not verse beneath ready to render our de- found gathering news be turned over Art chairman of the Republican defklt" elple that an underpaid statesman is $2 000 000 more In and wine the grateful republic of Poland will cision" Bloodof Master to the bough the cried Lucas as the royal psrty ap- a worse danger to American Institu- scriptions from the rank and file— the Imperial Police VhbU Blow unveil this statue m your honor You million Commodore Jahncke read the ver- hounds A lug of water— bread and water— tions than a frozen asset Forward and two or three patriotic peared ' on the map even If (Police whistles blow offstage dict holding Gardiner guilty w hereI expect every policeman to do his have put Poland thou “Make way for good King Fess — all differences md vote alres" forgotten you want to take It off again GenRoosevelt— The argument doe not Wilt hear no singing In THAT wild- - Enter Cannon and Sheppard dressed upon sentence was Imposed Gently duty way for St Simeon the first — and No" on this pernicious bill! aa policemen ) emexs slapping his wrist Hammond shouteThird— What's this a censhorship? tlemen let’s give three cheers for last" cried Moses The Gridiron club being impartial mean stopping the Tammany lnves Senator Borah Cannon— Stop stop! d- "You must apologize" Nor wilderness Is Paradise enowl “Long live the king— until next In the bestowal of favors next paid tlgatlon It must go on Calls for Mobilization Prime Minister — I will now unveil Governor Protocol— I can only reply sir this Sheppard— Stop In the name of the The Manchurian situation was Raskob — C e r talnly Us respects to the Democratic party June" chimed in Watson — Second (Reading) P S This is not the statue One two three We’ll make a campaign noble policy has been sustained by law I am Officer Morris Sheppard dealt with In another musical numA replica of the top of the Empire Roosevelt Thanks for Dlsoevery Expresses (Draws sheet and reveals figure of ber set to the score of the “Mikado" a censorship erected on the slogan out of It: "Tammany probe the supreme court of our national author of the eighteenth amendment mobilize at once woman with red hair in black robe ) Fess on ascending the throne ad- State building was Board of Cannon— I am Officer James Can- Though the announcement said the First — We must seven A1 Smith In his famous brown shows Democrats know how to take conduct — the Methodist stage deofficers Translator — Good God it's Aimee dressed his attendants: Public non Jr author of eighteen bank ac- operetta was staged In the beautiful Call in all of the standing alone looked down care of each other why not give Prohibition Temperance and to stop liquor smuggling Send Semple McPherson! tailed "I thank you my Lord Lucas royal derby counts costumes land care Morals con of the of take to and the them a chance Japan In- of Grocer Norris of Ne- n the city of New York “Over there” discoverer Assumption of control of the house Omar — Ah yes Sheppard— Omar Kahyyam you are firmed this theory the characters for both of the men assigned to “Is city hall where Jimmy country?" the trusts Forget the coun-lo- f CanOfficer braska ’ he said "I thank you my e said alien vestlgate undesirable n an representatives by the Democrats did to In main be when on the eagerly Insist young Also Roosevelt— I Myself travelnot Is proved making he when Walker stays— the take of ’ the was and let custodian terfeiters dealt with in a Lord Watson royal gangsters non and I control this country's pol figures In American public life After Issue the low power a frequent And there's or testifying Lord ing of each care I other And thank the house chairmanships and labor depart- musical you the order jubilee of and heard Saint Doctor sugar bowL By icy and great to be introduction satisfied Raskob— You ought Wigwam Smith was moved Third— But wa've done that al- other patronage being the cotton Moses ment you are deported Go— home! knight commander of the Tammany argument with getting high power at Albany explained that “those crude to rhyme as he soliloquized: evermore Omar— And howl Back where still Americans have across the Pacific ready No more reserves are left once controlled by Planters Tilson roval order of Weber and Field" about but About It and In a hat of Instead lor high looking are and Snell now under the new boss and thirty-eigh- t From this point the dialogue ran: How desr to my heart are the scenes Washington Camp out by the same door where a ruby kindles to the vine and many have gone militarist American ma- Two hundred Watson— Reassure us O King Fess a garden by the water blows running down that story printed yes- "Cactus Jack” Garner of Texas the went In to of my childhood I are from to rines up tried Nicaragua— Smith— mopping When go I new speaker —tell us It Is not true you ere think- When from a high building I find all wet And when O prohibition you shall save American lives and properties terday Protocol —Omar Albany to Washington I didn’t get Omar— No I’m you’re As the scene opened Tilson and First— What story? In view pass ing of when to abdicate them dry terribly dry— of course” a a hat—I high got building high on Third — It is said one of the palace Snell were trying to console each Fess — When to abdicate? No 1 am There’s Oliver street and the engine and From happy guests had I prebident your hoped Why Is our Remember Roosevelt— aa Observer Dawes party I would celebrate a new International other over their party loss but were too busy thinking how to vindicate the grass dogs barked at the moon house near It of millionaires First— Have they learned anything’ getting nowhere The United States has set up a pupAnd as you are departing reach the “Walt” exclaimed ' Moses— Why should he abdicate? With all of the firemen my infanoy not the party friendship to a bottle of good wine — were It wish Raskob I ' pet government In Haiti so Japan Fourth— They found the reporter Tilson “I have an Idea!” spot Protocol — Heavens Mr Kahyyam There ere good men solemn men dry knew As for the Hull— dry spokesman “At last” retorted Snell OutWhere I made one— turn down an has taken the matter to the league who wrote it was seen last week men but where would we find anof the south I want It don’t mention such a thing! of nations and I am here as the Japa- near the Palace acting suspiciously empty glass! other king combining all these vir- The buildings of Wall street the Democracy Impossible! Favors Political Truce rageous! and candidate the agreed platform (Orchestra strikes up “Goodbye nese observer The first thing to do like a reporter tues In one? Omar — And I had hoped that when bright lights of Broadway "Let’s propose a political truce" be shall ) all dry First— Amazing! Amazing! sing Is to Invoke the Kellogg pact” The cops and speakeasies and tenI called on your secretary of state we My Lover Goodbye" and Fes—Pray cease your flattery All the others— Nol Nol Fourth — But they’re not sure suggested the deposed Republican We may not meet for many a day— “Invoke It all you please you’ll toe cellar would Watson— Yes let's get down to In ements tall confer party must be wet So goodbye Omar goodbye never get the United States out of whether he really was working or floor leader but the expounding of brass tacks Tha royal national com- And center of everything there Is Raskob— This the idea brought on the customary Kahyyam Shocks Protocol What do you think I spent my money Mr Volstead says “Nay Nay — Central America" said For only looking for a place to park the Wigwam-- Old mittee will arrive any moment and — Protocol Oh Mr Kahyvam don’t So goodbye Omar goodbye First— Have you found out about row In the midst of the quarrel he what we’ll hear from them Is nosang: whereupon Tammany s bucket collect from for? no He has Kvale of Minnesota Hull— Take back your gold John say such awful things that that the royal coach Our hearts will evermore be true them 111 body’s business In the 'the lone Farmer-LaboritOur great Mikado virtuous man ceededstory cellar Really vou quite paralyze me Raskob Tho now we sadly say adieu the speed limit’ Moset— Ah the keynote of our pol la to America In our rule land the of he The When h°ue cup began coukl friendship — sliver-boun- d a separat’d for ?n turn rusRfR wish soak-’eyou I down a ) Raskob— file of we'll And glass Fifth I the old bucket The papers (Producing Icy—nobody's business I am Alas he sighed Resolved to try a plan whereby sparkling cold water six inches thick) Here is a summary leaders Ghost— So goodbye Omar goodbye— bucket Fes — Peace fooL — Cold water? aided Once theR-'fa'ebe best Water! Omar The world might mn Kvalitv of the evidence It seems one of d bucket collects I am thy father’s spirit Moses— Gentlemen cry peace when The old Navy Clash Recalled O they who do with pitfall and I thought Id be the balance of power So he decreed that all who hence reporters was in of The Ghost of Thomas Jefferson from them sill possession there la CO peace comclash with late now Hoover’s with A war should but 1m Just another of conquest President gin Doomed for a certain time to walk Mosea tenanting? — Right bower Join Smith at Railing Beset the road we have to wanderUhe navy league was recalled to a man over the farmless mence weeping Sow the Jack— and (Enter Amazing! night left bower high In g of Until and Jobless laborites Jewett Shouse the diminished rendition of the opera r (Unless It was In to first Seven hands Democrats cease quarrelTwtnr messenger you paper Better be Jocund with the fruitful "pinafore” the setting the deck of Should forthwith be blockaded the Democratic national comm tie Jerk Garner proclaimed himself 11V ing the new boss of the plantation and John W Davis Jim- - A weary grap an American battleship "which has And I expeot that you'll agree ‘Confidential What’s this? walk I’ve had— I long to rest (Reads): ’32— ehoot '32 for Jimmy Watson and accompanied by Than with water try to save decommissioned or In prettier That he waa wrong to so decree — my Cox Senator Hull of Tennessee At Monties llo but I’m doom'd to walk for the press For background only glad to be back after twelve hungry Georg Moses and Simmy Fess world from sin and Governor Roosevelt of New Till a Democrat again alts to the been placed In reserve ” A And I am wrong and you are wrong For morning papers of Thursday De- years Ilanguage com ’32— Craps!— your dies Doctor York Member— Omar ask this high hat corU4 0 admirals opened with the “The south la In the saddle" he anAnd all Is wrong as wrong can be cember 24 Not to be used or quotJoined Smith at the railing White House Fes whether we would be permitted to B Raskob has been detained It is exout nounced In any way Given from ed la ripe but not If ' Introthe time Fee — Silence silence! Perhaps understood f Disgusted have a keg of Vlneglo I “Yes” retorted Tilson “and the Interest on a Watson— Every word a pearl— plained “collecting duced the man who could settle all through Scotland Yard In confidence Democratic you We sail the ocean blue " The greetings exchanged that was approved by this funny govparty is in the soup" Caution! Confidential! When asked lf on as you are doing List! note the our is not “He that’s the first plank in our plat- mortgage Smith and these present Keep that's But duty greatest ernment things Roosevelt were Maybe that’s because your party between ha could say anything about the dawn— the Demoto of the The Davis herald else do Watson or since writer have Jim— We form: sllenc Wlllebrandt something steps front) (Mrs g made the national ancool purely formal Finalcratic rooster! (Rooster crows ) He believes In reserving complete forthcoming visit of Santa Claus to them" snapped back Garner We must keep the navy snooty Fe— Between you Lords Watson manifestly Mrs WTlleti rstnd t— Alas alas poor Raskob appeared Doorkeeper Royal — to do nothing this city the In an omen 1 must away o’er free whistles It wind action of freedom When the Perhaps and Moses I m tempted to resign ly Hull to explain that Vlneglo Kvale wanted to know why the But take Watson — Wonderful Let me present the lord high execu- speaking In confidence said he had Snell andInterrupted the bright blue sea my warning or it crows In Member— Why this Is Mrs Mabel Tilson wanted truce "on Democratic leader met at midnight no comment to make’ (Continuing) Acknowlvain Fess— What’s that? all day desks Stimson at our I tioner the We Arc of of sit the Joan Wlllebrandt Henry the Hoover plan” State building Don't Watson— Wonderful how yon reiist on top of tha Empire find let the rooster turn Into a goose vineyards When at anchor a e ride on the so- edging the plaudits of the crowd But where are the newspapermen? “What Hoover plan?" Inquired Garas many "Because you can't All Have Gone te Bed debecome a Jack ass I mule Hears am Or cial the Wlllebrandt tide said: Stimson Mrs I Omar— temptation ner — Well then since It Is agreed Democrats as this who want to be We’ve plenty of time for play “As lord high executioner I have (Exit ghost ) Second— After waiting six hours lighted the “Mortgage your own home brew I shall retain the crown let us have seen with each other" replied one desire — never to hurt the other for this they’ve all gone to bed And lately by tha tavern door Find It “Getllng Chilly" own beer and pick your own down coma your had order told When chairman Democratic chamber-laiour a report from campaign fellow First— Then this is Just the tlme’jury lnswered Kvale feelings Think how terrible Inagape thlr la the nerve! a Raskob— What Nobody of this “The top bulld'ng an dusk Lord Iucns Came shining through the lt Would b lf °m8 othfr p0'M'r to give it out (A big gong itartj As Tllson end gnell became imifriTs' the amira him It's getting chilly up here Lucas— The elections have gone natural home of the Democratic vited angel shape get offended I ringing) volved in another row that threat- Al m going home Good-nigcould you tell an In the I chimed “How Smith rifle howl In “—up the u except shoulder party" her everywhere this great government at London and Third— Shades of Old Sherlock! ned Garner the speaker cried out against Bearing a keg upon — And With wanted Smith a that's that sailor?" admiral from they air" district Ohio will represent it at Oenrva I ain not! it' the riot call from the Palare for first and In protection” A marvelous Bhe bid me taste of It and twns— to know The flepresacd admirals as bold as I seem ts you will lem (Second detective comes in running Soma on Inquired for Newton D nothing settled there still a chance Fess— Marvelous' “Aha!" shouted Tilson "you admit Montleello anywav? A dark cheered up when they saw approach- when I tell toe Grape vindication of Mr Hoover and very Baker “II telegraphed me They What's treat the how I a and prime you It waving la st" at newspaper) look down there Mrs W —No more no more I am ing their friend “Little Buttercup" Away also serve who only stand and wait' tomb Why minister of the Land of the Rising All — What the matter? prophetic Admit Only for Goal afraid It 1 the Omar I uras-T- m Ior answered Raskob Owen D Young somebody's turned up a bright light to is vlneglo tTi one extra An Sun My m0lmJng pa object Japan” Second— (Exritedly) help Oardinrr Li” of league admitted Garner “but only "Yes” Feaa— What did you aay? was In Washington attending a meet- In the Tammany Wigwam and j4 will Rtlmaon Household savs the Song the Royal per mv soul! It winked at me Just then! mv goats As Rtonewnll Jackson When Gardiner Ring Omar— What no more Vlneglo? n Lu as— I said it is tune Bllmson at turkey for Chris tnias dinner Th To the ing of the President's relief organizaof a Omar with we retinue Khavyam said at the siege of Troy touch not Moses— And I aay Jackasses Mrs W— No mora Vlneglo tion— and looking over the White Palace la In an uproar Mounting the deck Gardiner sang: a lord high executioner then aang On mor Re House furniture whll r or I’ll lose my head Governor Persians met up with Chief of ProMrs W— are all Jarkae First— These outrages have gone Solo: States the United tocol Little that and Ritchie was on a hunting trip— huntIgnorance representing The little tin filter is covered with I am called The delegate cried aa he dropped far enoughl The Yard will get its When Garner began announcing publican victory Ilk business old on the phigovernment affording hla list of committee chairmen It was Pear Little Ignorance II ere'll be a revival of rust him down man! Come on bovs! ing delegates to Pus western trunk lines—all the Tluiugh I could never tell why The syphon In Idleness flung: At this point Governor Roosevelt losopher an opportunity to learn Senator Borah stole found five of the best jobs went alarm that of The atate wild a In fact remind-Laval'- a Texas congressmen Garner I am called Little Ignorance trunk libeled J’slo Alto said he wished to have a little private first hand of the change that have The funnel U broken the keg thick I’remlerl of fearful the the at time frantic a With limelight frightful States — Never There Is not a ttdnsjtalk with Governor Smith Abvsmal Ignorance with dust The two taken place In the United visit to President Hoover was ’d objectois that the loyal aouth was frown Poor little Gardiner II And cobwebs cover the bung — nor was the hit theth Gibraltar of Democracy to one side and the follow- since the davs of Volstead He also withdrew not arm against him—except a little hard bared I forgotten my big right gained enlightenment from Mrs MaOmar — This Is truly terrible I m up on statistic and character-- l I seized him by his mUvertng neck senator made in Poland by hla ln- - “And what a rock it was In 1928— Rnk He will be overwhelmingly re- ing exchunge was heard: bel Walker Wlllebrandt tu ultimately elected (To the strums of Gallagher and terview with representatives of the ?°r Al Smith exclaimed Kvale And on his knees fell tie Agreee It's a Fine Night to run afoul of Senator Morris Shep- Rhean Omar and Mis Wlllebrandt Of cruisers and aircraft and guns Moses — (Offering cap te Few) O French press The Gridiron club The party broke up In enother row As snd he struggled squirmed RiKwevelt— It’s a fine night Al bells You Democratic throng admitting know naval lingo a Jolly good pard author of toe 18th amendment slug)-I lung take mv cap endever snd And guggled temporarily took Its guext to 'War- the were gurRled — Smith Yeah it a a fine night and Bishop James Cannon Jr who Omar— be mure interested in poik are funnier than will e Jingo saw where the grateful republic was thpy five drew I my Frank a holly di&B greed with hi liberal Hlras O Mrs Wlllebrandt O Mta Wille reckon my knowledge In tons I to IHan In principle Fe— Nonsense statute to a unveil to be about I said shall never the cry Oh foiget Roosevelt— Beautiful weather We of living To Ihrslan melody Omar brandt Moses— This is all nonsense s he the Idaho senator The senator was! Or the shriek that ihrlek-f- d chief of naval Smith— f ine 12 (Pi— made hi entrance the Chief of Pro1 ive our candidate and he will write Is Vlneglo really gone Just a you Admiral Pratt Dec shown Huriounded bv a group of1 WASHINGTON from when aided tec!h who As I gna-heofficer my one the navy Roosevelt— Fine tocol standing aside to greet him more do we aay? In platform men who que Wa'keiS Buel of the Cleveland Plain Polish It Us In newspaper admtnlstiatom sheatji with the oenl the For we know vou got Smith— Fine dough The skit ran as follows: heed’ I drew my five five three (turned him thtough a translator The D'!er t ulay ns elected pre idrnt nf recent row with th navy league Mom the farm board for Vlneglo Ronievrll - Nice In see you - need - money! (Enter Ijicas-- W 'the Gridiron chib the (lining club interview iipi )n this Churn the among -111 further Omar— depression raued too e to Nli To see ttie heln Caltfornlay! bojs you Treasurer Nuft in tatUord velvet and Smith ell Inunb this of Wadilngton roiretpondents for fi ni” lator Senator cannot him know had he Vc aril that — admltals fill and fire Come the the W la by announcing Mis cup —Great Roosevelt orn and haltered hat Be wears tales of spi tog jiipoihr w mts to knnv if joit mn the coming jear Juai Jgmi lied with the dlrei tor of thri Untrue or gioundle O Mr Kahyjam O Mr Kahyyam Smith— Great kmud icb “G O P— Out of But None Are Left All Detailed to Run Down Printed Story Favorjuof or n- s rs rt T P f1 d' iI $i er pseudo-Republl-c- er er 4! & nt Hush-Hus- f1 ' 1 one-doll- ar ' well-know- cotton-pickers- high-power- es Jl atar-scattr- ah e m raTa white-washe- congress-First-Amazin- f main-sprin- e) detec-Parrne- theijj aoup-eatln- ‘ lettVtfr ht blrss’jj Z1 fr mo-hal- r 4 - X five-thre- oner-atom- hht !r ago ft