| Show I The Salt Lake Tribune W5 ler ( Sunday May 22 1988 1 ' Funny letters from i ' - r-10o1 Ir - a- j ED i sending Dear joyed from the need a and that I am goodness excerpts from letters written to a public assistance office by applicants seeking financial aid — Janet Your Travel Agent Friend in Milwaukee 1 411'-- EN I - - --- ' ' - -- 1"-- i I ' 0 I Ale- tLfium-op--of-- P I 1 ArCk 1 I I' I r' ed"Nt ( — " I i- A N - ' 0"- i7 I O 1 c - ' - - ( ) I - 1 - 1 4 E - vt-- ' r----N ) ( - r ' 1 -- -") - v::) - tr- - r r 1 t v 1 Ait N - P I A - i 1 - 41 Ann 4 Landers - C 8 - I I 1 - - - -- - il(1L - 1!) i ' P- N 1 '''' ' i 1 -- ''''''sfr- 74? A 4 - - - -- 1 1 - ' 8 i 1:y1c-Y-N A - 9014 - IT: le' 4 (13 ' 4 All l Ait El 1 1A I - - "P°c""1--"- 51iDECTIAIL "My husband got his project cut off two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since then" 8 "You changed my little boy to a girl Will this make any difference?" 9 "In accordance with your instructions I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope" 10 "I have got to have my money as quick as I can get it I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good" Dear Ann Landers: I have been a volunteer for 10 years teaching people how to quit smoking These classes are sponsored by the American Lung Association and American ' Cancer Society It still surprises me that a great many intelligent folks don't know that nicotine has been classified as an addictive drug by the National Institute of Drug Abuse It alters moods produces withdrawal symptoms results in compulsive use and once the nicotine receptors in the brain are activated it is difficult to kick the habit permanently Behavioral experts know that a great many smokers light up when they drink something so the ads usually show attractive people drinking while they're smoking Tobacco is a deadly drug that kills approximately 1000 users a day If three jumbo jets crashed every day killing everyone aboard there would be a public outcry demanding that something be done to prevent the awful loss of life Yet the tobacco companies go merrily along ignoring (in the face of irrefutable evidence) the connection between smoking and lung cancer If this country is serious about getting its kids to say no to drugs it will have to get the beer cans out of their hands and take the cigarettes out of their mouths Thank you Ann for all that you've printed against tobacco in the past Please do it one more time — Sacramento Calif Dear LP: My pleasure You've written a dynamite letter Listen up out there! Dear Readers: Remember the flap about rock concerts? Well I went to hear Michael Jackson the other night and it was a fabulous performance The audience behaved perfectly There wasn't one unpleasant incident I was proud of Chicago's 1 "- ' T ''l :- ' 11( 1 (111 - 1 14 MGGD:ED It'TEDII5 I II) 1 k iH ItEEDECE'1 Mir Cilli A5 11 I 1 1 1 i ")! " v 1 1 1 : 1 EU (j) e Includes Fabrics Only Tags must remain attached to bolt to allow discount over 30 Does not include Fur Upholstery or Vinyl st tit ilihr1 ) r 17I Ilk II 4 I 1 -- - ill ) 1 ( ill Drugs are everywhere They're easy to get easy to use and even easier to get hooked on It you have questions about drugs and drug use Ann Landers newly revised booklet "The Lowdown on Dope'' will give you the answers Send $3 plus a stamped No 10 envelope (45 cents postage) to Ann Landers PO Box 11562 60611-056- 7 - 7 III 3o :-- - - - litin I 0 '''' see" Chicago 1 i a Dear Janet: The best humor comes straight out of the lives of everyday folks Funny you bet but sad too in a way Thanks for sharing 1 "Dear Sir: You asked me to forward my marriage certificate and six children I had seven but one died and was baptized on the half sheet of paper here" 2 "This' is to let you know that Mrs Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been visited by her minister regularly" 3 "I cannot get sick pay I have six children Can you tell me why?" 4 "Please find out for certain if my husband is dead The man I am now living with can't eat or do anything until he finds out" 5 "I am very annoyed to find that you have branded my son as illiterate This is a lie J was married to his father a week before he was born" 6 "I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my three children one of which was a mistake as you can 6 I A ' : ) 1) : 41 1 2 - gar B12 I I Answer: BOTTLE UNSEAT e 4 i FLEECE AMPERE EXCITE GUILTY i Anything he touched turned to gold which is why he ended up with this— r7'i 1 ” 4' rb t i' eiett1tt ill :- :: slaughters of Frank M Jones cre honoring him whh an (men Birth-(eHouse to c The date Is May 24 110011 at me home of wand° Bauch 1545 South 3rd East from POO pm to eh pm All frIends me a"tilY ia' "Melted No gels please i - il'OC0 :: illiTITA ' — A i CW'11 ' ': 414:t ( ':$-''1 r' ' -- 111:1:4111' ' ' !14'ii14-i4--4- 0111'141 “ i -- 4044 i'11i01'1i :ij1)ti:k' i A !o pE tt - 7 3fP1itlp 11111$!S$ '4'11 pp :JO 4 700 : 1E 4ivii17 '!itrL' 11 401 t7011:1-ITioV- 1 ''i : 1 Itorii41'1!Z: 1 fr !II -?!t t1 eipt-- ' iiL th r 1 i -- V 11 1' -'itli w LOW:5 $ Lif o low I: :11 t1 11:1 I I i TI P 17i z 0 ''14ii it IesAirsoelee4 otov:t - Kir — 11 i hto 'f 4tdip ti t :iiii"1110!lit !:f1 - 0 1 §o7itC011!11 Illiii 4 '1 11 kL N trl t i I A ‘- I- r- jTirjeiv61iokr :10 :10101 - I J'si!(rt'!zi - -- r - : 4 '1 A 0(11 Ii -' l ! A I r 2 HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRANK The v 1 ( Suggested retail to $169 yd 48 in wide I I W-- 0 4 A "GILT" COMPLEX See Juntble Puzzle "111111111 J -- : - 1144ti - 't It ii L tt " - $ tt I s t '' w i 4 '0 P" i r :' - $ i k 0 i 1 1 - |
