OCR Text |
Show My IftWKOTE JjolktES by cIiarIIes liftdNER This is the second season comedian and emcee Charles Lindner is teaching a course on comedy at Hunter College in New York City. The enrollment is large, the interest keen as people from all backgrounds look into what makes people laugh, the various types of jokes and the styles of famous comedians. Charlie asked one student what she did for a living. " Im a professional pickpocket ," she answered. " Why did you take this course P" he asked. "I wanted to learn the technique of stealing jokes." He reminds his class, "It takes only 17 muscles to smile, 43 muscles to frown. Humor is a great way to conserve energy." Here are some jokes from Charles Lindner: EDITOR'S that d'ilssJa O 4r j 3h. Made by Heath. Quality candy makers for 64 years. People who care how their candy bar tastes as much as you do. jg? NOTE: stand-u- p Two teenagers were eager to try the Tunnel of Love for the first time. "Shucks," the boy said later to a friend. "It was dark and we got soaking wet." "How come?" he was asked. "Did the boat leak?" The kid looked amazed. "There's a boat?" SP" The country preacher said, "Brothers and sisters, my sermon this morning will be about liars. Now, has everyone read the 30th chapter of Matthew?" Half the hands in the congregation went up. "You're just the people I want to talk to," said the preacher. "There is no such chapter." There are still a few thir gs you can get for a dollar like nickels, dimes, quarters. My seat belt makes me drive safely. on it and the buckle keeps me awake. I invented a new hearing aid. No wires, batteries or earpiece. Just a big sign that says: "Speak Up." is exactly." "Our son and daughter-in-lacame up with a foolproof way to save money on food," a woman told her friend. "They bought themselves an economy car and began driving it to our house for dinner." w sit I Customer to waiter: "Your food and such small portions." A hypochondriac explained to his doctor that he was certain he had a fatal liver disease. "Nonsense," protested the doctor. "You wouldn't know whether you had that or not. With that particular disease there's no discomfort of any kind." "Good heavens," the alarmed patient gasped, "my symptoms poison Jones and his wife were dining out. Seated across the room was a glamorous woman they both knew. Jones cast admiring glances in her direction, then turned to his wife and said, "Isn't it remarkable how Mary keeps her age?" "It sure is," said the wife. "She hasn't changed it in ten years." Sign in travel office: "Please Go Away." Real milk chocola Not artificial. Not chocolate-flavored- . But the real thing. Rich, creamy, delicious milk chocolate. -- urfSe. The delicious mixture of crunchy almonds and other good things that gives a Heath Bar its distinctive taste. A Heath Candy Bar is crunchy English Toffee, covered with real milk chocolate. Nothing else crunches like it Nothing else tastes like it Thats why when you crave the great taste of Heath nothing else will do. cl Hecth. ItsItgrad taste for hcelf. cheats Then there's the District of Columbia bridge club that has so much signaling under the table it's known as the Washington Redshins. The college graduate returned home from his 20th class reunion in a morose mood. "My classmates," he told his wife, "have all gotten so fat and bald, they didn't even recognize me." A bride complained to her neighbor :"My husband forgets his keys, wallet, coat you name it. As a matter of fact, called him before he left work and asked him to pick up some lemons on the way home. I'll bet he forgets them." Just then, her husband rushed in with a brown paper bag. "Look what found, honey," he yelled, dumping a wad of $100 bills out of the bag. The wife turned to the neighbor with a shrug: "What did I I I During their observance of "Be Kind To Animals Week," the fourth-gradetold about their appropriate good deeds. Asked what he had done, one little boy replied: "I kicked a kid for kicking his dog." tell you?" rs My doctor told me to stop working and take a rest for six weeks. Then I got his bill. Now I have to work twice as hard in order to pay it. 30 rARADf SF"TFMBIR 24, 1978 |