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Show MJfions OF vmpxs. Merriwid ,,.-1 0 MELISSA DOES NOT CARE FOR CALLOW YOUTH. "You needn't tell me!" said Mrs. Merrlwid's maternal maiden aunt Jane, indignantly. Mrs. Merriwid held back the loose sleeve of her tea gown with one hand while she poured with the other, a movement which displayed the beauties beau-ties of her arm and hand, literally, to admiration. It was a pity that no one but Aunt Jane was present. At the same time, Mrs. Merrlwid's eyes sparkled mischievously and she giggled gig-gled so that she spilled the tea. "Very well, dearie," she said, "I won't tell you." "He needs spanking," declared Aunt Jane, rubbing her nose, as she had a habit of doing when vexed, "and you do too," she added. "Why, he's an Infant! In-fant! And you, you are '-" "Count on your fingers," suggested Mrs. Merriwid. "You won't have to wrinkle up your forehead so much. Or I'll tell you, to save trouble. I'm twenty-eight if I'm a day." "You're thirty," snapped Aunt Jane, "and ha isn't much over twenty." "Bvt he's large for his age," said Mrs. Merriwid, dimpling. "Six feat and ever. And you must admit that I am remarkably well preserved, so that the disparity Isn't really so great as It might seem at the first blush. Somavof the happiest marriages " j "Fiddle!" Aunt Jane Interrupted. "You know better." "And he's seen a great deal of the world," Mrs. Merriwid continued, disregarding dis-regarding the interruption. "He says so, himself. He has been. In fact, a bit of a devil, but, of course, that was before he came under my ennobling and refining Influence. He finds himself Now I wouldn't expect anything unreasonably un-reasonably angelic, because I've seen too many men, young and old, to entertain en-tertain any illusions. Most of them will be fairly decent If a woman treats them decently. That means feeding them properly and keeping up a lifelike life-like appearance of cheerfulness. I practiced that on poor dear Henry Merriwid so long that I'm letter perfect." "That may be," conceded Aunt Jane. "But if you want a child to raise, why not go to an orphan asylum?" "I thought we were going to consider consid-er this matter seriously," said Mrs. Merriwid. "And from a matrimonial point of view, dearie, I wouldn't have to wipe Teddle's little noty-poty or see that he washed his neck and around his ears, or worry about his habits of climbing trees and going swimming. I might have worries, but not that kind. I'm considering the advantage ad-vantage of marrying a young man. Well, ha wouldn't have any murky past, to begin with, and I think I could take care that he wouldn't have any objectionable future,. If I undertook Its management. Then he would have generous Impulses and large enthusiasms. enthusi-asms. Taddla has. All the freshness and kindness hasn't been knocked out ef him. Ha has fine idaals and ambitions ambi-tions and I think It would be awfully Interesting to direct them. Life doesn't mean money grubbing to him. It means poetry and philanthropy and romance and righteousness and musla and moonshine and such. He Isn't bald and blase. He hasn't any rheumatic rheu-matic tendencies or stomach trouble, and as I intimated, he thinks I am something wonderful." i i Held Back the Sleeve of Her Tea Gown While She Poured. a changed man since that Waring hop. Really, auntie, dear." "You ought to be ashamed of yourself," your-self," said Aunt Jane. "No, I don't want any more sugar in my tea. You're taking advantage of his youth and inexperience to make the poor bqy-unhappy." "I make him unhappy!" exclaimed Mrs. Merriwid. "Why, sweetheart, he never knew what happiness was before be-fore he met me. It's the' delirium of ecstacy or the ecstacy of delirium I forget which he said just to be near me. And the touch of my hand I can't recall at this moment exactly what the touch of my hand is, but the effect is something fierce, as we used to say in the office. And when you talk of Inexperience, well, that Is to snigger." f can it. wicked," observed Aunt Jane. "If you were serious, it would be different. It would be bad enough then, but as it Is, it's wicked." Mrs. Merriwid set down the cup of tea she had been sipping and leaned back In her chair and sighed. "I wonder if I'm not serious?" she said. "Why shouldn't I be? Look at it in a reasonable light, auntie. Would it be any disadvantage to him to have a wife who was old enough to have Borne sense? Suppose he marries some half-fledged broiler, as he probably prob-ably will In the course of time If I let him go. Well, she'll make him miserable by expecting too much of him, and she'll be miserable herself because he isn't all her fancy painted, and then he'll be more miserable. "How do you think it would In ten years' time when you were gc on for fifty and he was hardly uv.e than thirty?" inquired Aunt Jane. "Auntie! ""remonstrated Mrs. Merrl-wld. Merrl-wld. "How very catty! . If he were hardly thirty, I should be barely forty, but waiving that, I think it would be perfectly lovely. I don't expect to find my faculties falling when I'm going go-ing on for fifty, even, and I shall only give up my masseuse and my few simple sim-ple toilet preparations with the breath of life. Teddle's youth will be an additional incentive to me to keep beautiful. Most women, when their husbands begin to show signs of the sere and yellow, allow themselves to get sloppy and dowdy. That's where I shall have what Is vulgarly termed the edge on them." "Oh, well," sighed Aunt Jane. "If you've decided to make a fool of yourself, your-self, I suppose there's no use talking. When is the interesting event to take place, If one may ask?" "Don't worry, dearie," said Mrs. Merriwid. "I'm not going to marry poor Teddie. He's a sweet boy and he's the only one ever told me that my eyes were pools of limpid light, but he's such an everlasting callow little lit-tle idiot." "Then why " began Aunt Jane In bewilderment. "Well, dearie, he'll be wiser when I get through with him," said Mrs. Merriwid. Mer-riwid. "I'm doing him a real kindness." kind-ness." (Copyright, 1U, by W. O. Chapman.) |