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Show ) .glStJITQRS OF MELISSA SCORNS THE GREEN-EYED GREEN-EYED MONSTER. Mrs. Merriwld boxed the fluffy Per-ilan's Per-ilan's ears until the pampered oriental fowled and leaped from her lap to the floor, retreating under the daven-jort daven-jort to sulk. Her maternal Aunt Jane protested against the severity of the ilaps. The Persian was her particular particu-lar pet "He's Just like the rest of his con-selted con-selted Bex," said Mrs. Merriwld. "It's the hardest thing In the world for him So believe that there are times when i , woman doesn't want him around, tspecially if he's had a little encour-igement encour-igement to begin with." "I never noticed you encouraging '.he poor animal," replied Aunt Jane. "You'd have noticed It If you had leen me cuddling him when Mr. Greenlgh Green-lgh was here," said Mrs. Merriwld Merri-wld with a little giggle. "He hasn't lad such a loving since he was a kitten. kit-ten. I actually did violence to my j Feelings so far as to kiss his nose Hassan's, you understand, not Mr. 3reenlgh's. I also talked baby talk a him Hassan, you know." "I didn't suppose you kissed Mr. Sreenlgh's nose," observed Aunt lane. "You're a dear, unsuspecting thing," laid Mrs. Merriwld, "but you can never tell, auntie. Such has been did ere low. Even bald heads have known the oft osculatory pressure of a woman's ruddy lips; but other lips, auntie, I assure as-sure you." "What were you kissing my cat tor?" asked Aunt Jane. "For the effect on Mr. Greenlgh, iearle," replied her niece. "It was effective, ef-fective, all right. If I were Hassan, I wouldn't want the gentleman to feed dear Omar Khayam would say. Thiei a happy medium between the Ideas tf the sultan of Sulu and those of Emma Goldman on the proprieties to be observed ob-served between the sexes, if anybody should ask you. But most men are naturally Inclined to think that the sultan has got a pretty level head on him, after all, when you get right down to . brass tacks. They Wouldn't favor plurality. Certainly not. Only In exceptional cases and under certain circumstances and anyway, it's against the law here. Personally, I want to feel at liberty to say a kind word and bestow an amiable smile on any gentleman whom I may deem worthy of the distinction. Am I right or am I wrong?" "I think, my dear, that the less said on certain subjects, the better," replied re-plied Aunt Jane, gently. "You were talking about Mr. Greenlgh, were you not?" "Dear me! So I was," said Mrs. Merriwld. "Pardon the digression. Well, there's nothing doing, auntie. You see, he isn't my only Joy. All my interests and aspirations and hopes and yearnings are not bound up In In him and I fear that I would be hurting hurt-ing his feelings all the time by letting him suspect It, were there a closer bond between us. Then he'd be misusing mis-using his shaving materials, or something some-thing unpleasant like that "A man who merely gets Jealous Is a highly Interesting, eminently entertaining, enter-taining, and, by no means, disagreeable disagree-able person," continued Mrs. Merriwld. "A Jealous man Is a detestable and dangerous variety of hog. You can take something or give something for an acute attack, but when the disease dis-ease is chronic It is about an even chance whether the patient lands in "I Suppose You're the Best Judge, Melissa," Aunt Jane Allowed. ne liver. 'Some men there are cannot ibide a cat,' as Mr. Booth once re-narked re-narked at McVlcker's. Mr. Greenlgh Is one of them. He considers them selfish, sly, treacherous, cruel, thieving thiev-ing beasts, without a single redeeming juallty, and he's at a loss to imagine tiow anybody can tolerate them, much less address them In terms of endearment." endear-ment." "That's because he doesn't know them," Aunt Jane declared. "No, dearie, it's because I petted jne," said Mrs. Merriwld. "If I had jetted anybody else, he'd have felt ibout the same. I m afraid, auntie, that Mr. Greenlgh Is of a Jealous disposition, dispo-sition, and that's a pity, because I eally think he's the easiest man to look it that has been around here for many moons, and my heart tells me that he loves me truly. Not with the fierce jonsuming passion of his love for Mr. Jreenigh, perhaps, but the daisy pet-ils pet-ils certainly all fall the one way." "There can be no true love without lealousy, so they Bay," remarked Aunt lane, saplently. , "They say lots of things that aren't 10, when they've come to get on their jurnlshed plumage. I'm not intimat-ng intimat-ng that they're unmitigated, Intentional Inten-tional and deliberate liars at that, and !ar be it from me to counsel my sister ivoman to let any obvious bi-ed bi-ed think , he's got a lead )lpe cinch on pre-eminence In ler affections. No, indeed, dearie, kt the same time, I'm not In favor of ligh maximum percentage of the fires f hell to the Joys of paradise, as the Insane asylum or the morgue. The man who gets Jealous Is entitled to a woman's carefully concealed sympathy. sympa-thy. The Jealous man Is a nuisance, and deserves what he generally gets. It didn't take the cat to satisfy me that Mr. Greenlgh was no fit company for a popular little lady like your niece, dearie." "I suppose you're the best Judge, Melissa," Me-lissa," Aunt Jane allowed. " "Thank you, darling," said Mrs. Merriwld. Mer-riwld. "I know you don't think so, but I appreciate It Just as much. To the best of my Judgment, a man who gets blood In his eye and flecks of foam on his whiskers every time his wife shows symptoms of admiration for anyone but him, is not the man to make a woman happy, however much she may love excitement. A man may have a more than ordinary share of attractive at-tractive qualities, but he can't be a Chesterfield, a Napoleon, a Dustln Farnum, a Huxley and a Van Bibber rolled Into one. He may think he can, but his wife will have her qpln-lon. qpln-lon. I don't think Mr. Greenlgh would ever let Mrs. Greenlgh be pious. He'd take It as a personal reflection and possibly lay It to the curater No, a cat has too much Independence of spirit for him. What he wants Is a dog and doggish devotion, but It would have to be a particular kind of a dog, at that." "How particular?" asked Aunt Jane. "One that wouldn't wag Its tail for anybody but Mr. Grenigh," replied Mrs. Merriwld. (Copyright. UU. br W. Q. Chaeyan.) |