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Show Mjfof Suitor of KENNETT l yf; ' Am& mk YA- faAi feu J Ah W W MELISSA WOULL NOT MARRY A FAMILY. "He's a perfr-ct gentleman, I think," declared Mrs. Merriwid's maternal maiden Aunt Jane. Her niece, proceeding with her soft Improvisation on the piano, expressed her entire concurrence in that opinion. opin-ion. "And hu's very sweet tempered," Aunt Jane continued. "Surest thing you know," murmured Mrs. Merriwid, still playing. "Some saccharine, he Is." "And you can't say he isn't good looking." "I could, but I won't, dearie," said Mrs. Merriwid, executing an arpeggio with nimble fingers. "To save time I'll admit that he's intelligent, a good citizen, a consistent Christian, a nifty dresser, and a patient piecemeal picture pic-ture puzzler. He departed this house on the ninth day of November, 1912, and "He'll never come back, he'll never come back, No, he'll never come back any more.'' Mrs. Merriwid sang this with' mournful expression. "I'd like to know why," said Aunt Jane. Mrs. Merriwid's rich contralto was again raised in song "I don't think his Uncle John Ever had a collar on." "1 wonder if you'll ever Haru to be sensible," sighed Aunt Jane. Mrs. Merriwid whirled around on the piano stool and faced her relative. "Dariingest aunt." she said, "1 am not the frivolous, unthinking creature you "Mrs. Bludthick seemed to be quit pleasant," observed Aunt Jane. "She gave me the gloomy eye never I theless, and I could detect the out-I out-I lines of a hammer in her skirl pocket," said Mrs. Merriwid. "I understand un-derstand from her devoted son that she's a Colonial Dame. If she isn't a colonial knocker, I'm no judge of antiques. an-tiques. Her nose is the feature I ob ject to particularly though. I could see little fragments of other people's business sticking to It quite plainly where she had forgotten to wipe it off. If I ever expected another visit, I'd put my private affairs in a bottle of strong spirits of ammonia and leave it where it was handy for her to sniff." "Don't you like his sister?" Inquired Aunt Jane. "I might learn to like her, but 1 wouldn't want to take up the study until I had made myself a mistress of German and the higher mathematics," replied Mrs. Merriwid. "She would Eay, 'Do not you like?' by the way, aunty, dear. That little habit she has of raising her eyebrows and cooing, coo-ing, 'Yes-s-s?' fills me with -motions too profound for words. Bricl s-s are the only things that would be at all adequate. No, sister didn't make a hit with me. The sample cousin well, you saw the hat she was wearing." wear-ing." "Of course it wasn't exactly the hat I should choose," Aunt Jane conceded. con-ceded. "Very well, then," said Mrs. Merriwid. Merri-wid. "What boots it to bandy words, as Mr. Ruskin remarks? There are the ginkesses who would consider Mrs. Merriwid's Rich Contralto Was Again Raised In Song. deem me. Beneath this apparent kidding kid-ding there lies a deep and serious appreciation ap-preciation of Mr. Bludthick's merit but I am also wise to Uncle John. Uncle's Un-cle's deficiency in the matter of linen gives me what is commonly known as the willies." "I never " "Don't say that you never heard that Mr. Bludthick had an Uncle John, dearie," interrupted Mrs. Merriwid. "I haven't either, but I do know that he has a mother and two sisters and several cousins because I have met mother and a sample sister aid cousin. Mr. Bludthick isn't to - blame for having them, of course, and the i fact that he is proud of them does credit to his heart, even if it argue:, a certain oFseous solidity of the oranium, is Dr. Illasy would put it. In other words, I might love him madly enough to forgive the circumstances, but not its open avowal. Do you get me, sweet aunt?" "You wouldn't be marrying the family," fam-ily," said Aunt Jane. "I would not," Mrs. Merriwid asserted as-serted with emphasis. "Not while reason holds its sway and the tariff question remains unsolved, dearie. Not in a million years. But if I married mar-ried Mr. Bludthick, I would; that's something that can't very well be sidestepped. side-stepped. I have heard sanguine young brides-to-be say they weren't marrying marry-ing their husband's families ere this, ind I have seen the pearly Pozzoni coursing down their cheeks as they realized too late their fatal error, lake it from me that you might as well try to Ignore an ulcerated tooth , as a husband's family. There is really real-ly no such thing as severing relations; rela-tions; they decline to be severed and Uey won't be pleasant." themselves privileged to greet me with a clammy kiss and give me advice ad-vice and criticize my gowns and ask me what I pay my dressmaker and follow me into the kitchen and borrow my trunks for a month's vacation and tell me what my husband likes and dislikes and direct my attention to my increasing stoutness and call me Melissa." Me-lissa." Mrs. Merriwid got all this off in one breath. "Married to them!" she exclaimed. "Of course I would be, and worse. Nay, dear, a man may speak with the tongue of an angel and make love like John Drew in his palmiest palm-iest days; he may be liberal, considerate consid-erate and unselfish and thoroughly domes'icated, but if there is an Uncle John with nothing between the neck band of his shirt and his whiskers who is to be considered on visiting terms and entitled to a seat in the chimney corner where he can spit on the hearth. I beg to be excused. Uncle John, figuratively speaking, has done more for the leading industry of Reno lhan any other factor. They ought to erect a statue of him in the market place opposite the courthouse." Mrs. Merriwid turned to the piano again, and sang: "He's a perfect gent, but when I get tied up for life I'll pick- An orphan." "It Isn't an orphan asylum I'd Bend you to, Melissa," remarked Mrs. Merrfc wid's maternal maiden Aunt Jane. (Copyright, 1912. by W. G. Chapman.) |