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Show TT THE WEST MOUNTAIN TIMES, DECEMBER 31, 1981, PAGE SEVEN Serendipity Sports SPORTS Resolutions Skiing means family fun It Inventory time again. Time to look younelf in the eye and make some meaningful resolutions. Its the season to analyze your intentions and transform yourself into what you really want to be. The New Year is the time for all budding athletes to get a fixed purpose in their mind and to be determined to go for it. I can see lots of areas that need improvement, and with that in mind, I offer the following athletic resolves: 7. Since we have all competed with others for years, lets all resolve to compete with ourselves this year, and win. 8. Lets all resolve to play 1982 by the rules and quit looking for ways to bend them to our advantage. 9. All parents should resolve not to coach their kids over the dinner table so the school coaches can coach them during practice time. 10. All coaches should resolve to compliment at least one official during the year 1982 and tell him good job." 11. All high school athletes should make a resolve to spend at least as much time practicing their sport as they do almost impossible. 3. Athletes should resolve to play with their legs, arms and heart and not with their mouths only. e 4. Let's all of us athletes promise not to tell stories about our athletic feats that arent true. 3. All coaches ought to make a resolution not to holler at the poor officials just because they don't always exhibit good judgement. 6. All basketball players should resolve to play defense in such a way that their opponent will think he is in the tunnel of love. He will feel hands, knees and elbows all over him. old-tim- If you approach skiing with your youngsters as a fun sport rather than a complicated skill they must masta you can look forward to years of family excitement on the slopes. chasing girls. 12. Resolved, referees should have their eyes checked, their hearing tested and reread the rule books at least once a year. 13. Resolved: The writer of this column should document his sources, use better vocabulary, practice more picturesque speech, and maybe give up writing altogether. 1. SIMONS SAYS be At New Years we would all do well to remember Dales Law which says, Things that dont change remain the By MIKE GYG1 Times Cormpondml There is a disease which strikes millions of Americans annually, a malady for which there is no cure. This disease promotes inactivity, stifles creativity, and alienates families. In case you havent guessed by now, the disease is none other than the dreaded football addition. Football addicts come in all shapes and sizes, and no one is immune from this disorder. The disease may however be haeditary! Children who are forced to spend every Sunday watching football with their parents can almost be assured that they, too, will become hopeless addicts one day. Columnist and comedian Erma Bom-bec- k has looked at this problem and said, You will remember that it was I who tried to get legislation passed slating that any man who could sit through 133 soon develop a poor sense of hearing and responds only to a nasal drone like that of Howard Cosell. Third: The addict's conversation will consist of subject matta that deals only with football. When this happens immediately change the subject by asking him if chicken tettrazini should use fresh or canned mushrooms. If this doesnt ga his mind off foot! 'll nothing will. Fourth: This sign is getting to the point of no raurn and drastic measures need to be taken when thae are more than a weeks supply of chips and bea stored in the kit- collegiate and professional football games on network television. This does not include the independent stations or the bowl games. Ova 23 bowl games are played in post season and almost all of these are shown on television or maybe picked up on the radio. Thaefore the addict always has a constant supply of chen. Quickly replace these items with dried zuchini and prune juice. Fifth: The his habit to enjoy. Football addiction usually strikes addict has now become a permanent males from the ages of 14 on up. This is part of his reclina chair. Thae is no not to say that women arent vulnaable differentiation baween man and chair. to the disease, it just isn't as common By this time the viewa is a junkie and among them. As mentioned earlia this the T.V. should have been thrown out addition is quite often inherited from long ago. one or both of the parents. One of the In this great age of technology thae first Christmas presents a young boy have been an abundance of advanreceives is a football. From this first excements in the world of science and posure the young boy finds himself conengineering. And to the addict no tinually duped that football is the greater advancement has occured in the American way, and all of lifes last 130 years than that of the video situations can somehow be related to a recorda. This handy machine enables football game. One of the great the addict to watch the games he has analogies compares football to marriage missed when more than one are being by stating that both have a set of ground shown at the same time. This also helps rules to play by, and both need a addicts out immensely due to the fact referee. Only the demented mind of an that they no longa need to have three addict too far gone could have come up television sets in their living room. with this comparison. The video recorda also cured the adThere are the early tell tale signs to be dicts most unbearable suffering of all: on the look out for. Even though there post season withdrawal. When the is no cure for addiction, thae may be a regular season has ended, the addict has only to set up one of the games he has way to recognize it and prevent it from taped and watch it again. In the past, gating worse. First: A glassy eyed look that will lata turn into a zombie stare if post season withdrawal seemed an tter-nit- y to most addicts. Some would break not corrected. Second: The addict will Berry, forma executive thae. to a childs abilities. Children, because of their muscle Be sensitive development, are physically unable to execute subtle movements and adjustments like adults. Their coordination isnt as good as an adult's, eitha. Make style a faish, warns Berry, and youll take the fun out of your same. Dreaded disease spreading amongst sports families games of professional and college footand bowl games be ball, the play-of- fs declared legally dead. If there is any blame to be placed, that blame should fall upon the media. The media has made it possible for an addict to watch no less than 123 William editor of Ski magazine, explains how to go about it in the January issue of Families. You dont explain to a child how to play, and skiing is play, he said. A simple follow me and theyll out in hives, others would get the shakes, and still others would laps into a coma from January 'till July when the college all stars play the Super Bowl childs experience. peanuts, soda, and sandwiches. Another important memba of the team is the addict's statistician. This playa is not champs. There are those who argue that otha only in charge of team totals during the sports are shown in the off season such game, but the statistics that are most vital to the otha addicts such as the as baseball, basketball, and hockey. Asking an addict to substitute these number of bad calls made by one forms of entertainment for the real thing referee, or the avaage measurements of is like receiving a hamburger when the team's checrlcadas. Thae is one prime rib was ordaed. playa among the group addicts get Only an addict looks forward to going together" howeva who is singularly the most important man there: the arm to work on Monday. While everyone else is in the office wishes they had chair quartaback." This addict feels he stayed home, the addict has only one is most qualified to call the plays, run the team, officiate in the game, and give thing on his mind Monday night football. Only an addict can enjoy the wit the play by play. All his expaience is based on hindsight. He can always be and wisdom of Humble Howard. An addict would also agree that one heard saying things like, Why did they million dollars a year was a small price do that, or That's not what I would to pay to have O. J. Simpson sitting on have called, and the all time favorite, I dont believe that call. You can see the 49'as bench for a year. Besides, the from here that it wasn't intcrfaence. addict isn't the one who pays the inflated tkka prices and sits in the cold The addict isnt entirely bad though. way up yonder in seats that need There are a few who are obnoxious, but binoculars to see the game. These are more are simple average everyday the fans. The fans aren't addicts. They people, who twice and sometimes three have a disease all their own. They are times a week must sit glued in front of a called football fanatics and an entire television set for hours at a time. There is always a great sympathy held for the story could be devoted to their problem. Often times addicts ga togetha on widows of these addicts who are Sunday for group devotion. They all married. The football widow can only look like a team themselves huddled sit back and watch as ha husband sucaround the television. Just like a team, cumbs to the forces ova which he has these addicts have positions they must no control from week to week. Thae is play while watching the game. The some consolation howeva in the fact that the addict has a superb knowledge keeper of the munchies is a very important playa. The playa l onored with of football trivia. Within seconds the this position is usually the owna of the addict could give you the height and house whae the game is being watweight of Tony Dorsat, how fast he ched. It is his job to see that all otha can run the forty, how many pro bowls addicts have plenty of beer, chips. he has played in, and his total yardage They also need scheduled sleep, meals, snacks and unstructured play time on ski days as much as on any otha day. Tensions and hassles are reduced to a minimum if you are lucky enough to have an entire ski week. But with venture patience, a weekend or one-dacan be rewarding. Remember that after a few lessons your child will be able to ski with you. The worst problem that children face in skiing," said Berry, "is the feeling that Mom and Dad regard them as a drag." To reduce the risk of serious injury. Berry thinks that children should use ski brakes, not safay straps." Bindings should be sa a tad loosely and rubber tips could be placed on metal Children lack the fear that endings. tells an adult or an olda child when he is courting disaster, Bairy said. ski-po- accrued. Football addicts should be left alone when their team is losing as the late Marvin Frcebish of Bouldar Colorado found out in Super Bowl 12 when he accidentally mentioned in a Denver bar that it was, Only a game." As discussed earlia, there is no cure foi football addiction. There are methods for dealing with the problem but the results can he hazardous. Sou must get rid of the television sa. There are three possible things that an addict can do to cope with this situation. One is to thank his lovely wife for being so brave and thoughtful! for helping hnn overcome his disease, but this is not very likely. Second, the husband will throw fits and scream and then go ova to his buddys house and watch the game; this is very likely. Third, the addict will be so taken by surprise that he will have an emotional breakdown and have to be cared for in a sanitarium for several months. This happens in only the most severe cases of addition. For the addict now the only hope is that he becomes disillusioned with the game, finds it boring, and feels he needs something more challenging in his life. Pahaps this will come about some day, but in my observations an addict has no mind of his own, is amused by the least little thing, and is always too tired to ga out of his chair. I or those widows who are concerned what to do with their addicted husbands, just decorate them in their chair with Christmas lights and ornaments and use them as a conversation piece. Dont worry, they wont even notice youve done anything. Basketball, Christmas assembly at Kennedy By TRUDY SKOGERBOE Tuna Comspondm! was a WEST VALLEY CITY-T- hae baskaball game held baween the boys baskaball team and the mens' faculty, on Dec. 21. The score was faculty. The boys team said the faculty was just lucky and they could have won if they had wanted to. (La's hope thats true!). Kennedy Junior High School students presented the annual Christmas assembly on Dec. 23. The chorus, drama, band and dance departments paformed for the student body. Lowell Fetza, the drama leacha at d drama class JFK, and his presented the historical The Second 34-2- first-perio- Shepherds Play. This play is about two sheperds who find the true meaning of Christmas. The Kennedy dance club, headed by Kathy Majors, danced to the traditional Hallelujah Chorus and they also did a jazz medley. Our own stage band, directed by Jac Carsey, played American Bandstand, Sausalito Summa Night, New York, New York." and Tata Patch. Wil Whitaka't ninth grade mixed chorus sang Snow, Snow, Snow, "What You Going to Be? The Carol of the Bells, and Do You Hear What I Hear? These teachers and their students worked hard on these presentations and they did a very good job presenting them to the student body. KUED classes I'm luipjry about all the riblxmsand tnnrhies.but the greatest satisfaction forme .is having my childhood dream came true. come to homes On top of Ole Smokey was cold and wet that nighf in Mary land. I was helping Mom with the dishes lien my brother Dave came running into the house shouting, The mare just threw a colt Come seeT To me it was the most xriiit cult Id ever seen in my smoke. My life. A beautiful animal the color of blue-gre- y Dad said thatd lie his name. Srm ikey. I spent every spare hour I liad w ith that colt. Tlien table. Dad announced, one morning at the Sandlrirg Stables 'll lie coming to fetch SmoLey tixiayT You're selling Smokes 'f I cried. Why can't we keep him? Can't I ever have a horse of my own Honey, we cant afford to raise horses fir money, then keep 'em around for pets. We need that money. Smokey's a fine young colt Init we have to sell him. Maylx someday well have enough to keep one just furyouT and lalmr,' Maylie. Well, w hat w ith the cost of "maybe never came far my folks. Eventually, tfie ranch was sold and I went off As soon as I gut a job, I joined the Payroll Savings Plan and started busing United States Savings Bonds. I wasn't really sure w hat I was saving for. I guess I didnt ever want to find my self in a position w late I'd liave to sell something I krved just to get along. I never knew what hapiened to Ok SmoLey until a few years later. I was telling Linda, a friend at tlx office, bow my car had broken down on the way to work. Six offered to drive me home. Bjit I've M to stop and pick up my daughter at riding scbooIT she said. I was (dad to find a way home. Thanks, I don't mind the stop, and I kwe horsesT We pulled up next to tlx- - fence and w ate hed her It st f d daughter (iisriMHiut. As site fed tlx horse toward us I niogmed Ofe Smokes. Tlx owiK-- r was talking to Linda, vi 1 asked as casually as I could, Is tli.it Ixirse fur safe?" He k xkcd at Suxikey, shrugged and said, Anythings for sale if tlx irxe is nglitr Right tlxn I knew why I'd saved all tlxise Bonds. Tlx prut uii a hit stiff Lira sclxxil Ixxse, Ixit tlx fkxxls had grown over tlx years and I kixw I had enough. As it tunx-xit,Ofe Smokes I tad a kit of talent no one had ever asked him to use. A fnend of mux, w lx) trained jumpers, tx A him over tlx hurdles and was astounded, ibis Ixirse could lx a great jumjx-r- . Wlx-reyou find him And a great juinix-- r was w fiat He jumjxd in Ixirse show s from e to Madistxi S juare Ganfen. I m lianjry alxxjt all tlx nlilxxis atxl tun dues, but tlie greatest satisfaction fat me is lias mg my chilulxxxl dream oxne true. Sitting upon top of Ok SrixAey, riding a mss tlx green fiekls kixrw mg lx is my very own. d who SALT LAKE CITY-Stud- cnts took advantage of KUEDs Television For Learning program this fall did not have to go to class. The classes came to them. For adults who have inescapable comitments, crowded work schedules, disabilities, not enough time or money to travel to college campuses the Television For Learning telecourse program is made to or da and will continue in January. The start date on KUED, Channel 7, is Jan. 16. Participating colleges in the KUED coverage area are Weba State College, Southern Utah State College, Utah Technical College and College of Great Falls, Montana. For additional information concerning credit and instruce tion, prospective students may call a toll-fre- hotline numba KUED will air seven telecourses for the upcoming second semesta. examines the Focus on Sociay transformation of social institutions in America: home, family, religion, workplace, marriage and recreation. America: The Second Century traces the history of the United States from the centennial celebration to the present. By guiding students through the endless eternity and mistery of time, Space and Time probes the science of cosmology and physics. Speculations about the big bang, a look at Sir Isaac Newton's library and the complex theory of relatively are explored. For teachers, administrators and parents alike, a course of enormous value will be "Teaching Students With Special Needs. This focuses on students with learning problems in school and offers strategies for coping with their difficulties. Three encore. otha telecourses raurn Undastanding Human Behavior provides a comprehensive introduction to psychology. Its Lverybodys Business offas an insider's new of the An in way business operates. Humanities Through the Arts, Renaissance woman, Maya Angelou. leads students on a stunning tour of seven art forms that have influenced our culture. Each telecourse has its own study guide. Study materials accompany each course and exams are administered by the educational institution involved. Ihe telecourse program, itself, has been designed by a team of experienced educators. d Ix-r- When you join the Payroll Sat inns Plan, those C.S. Sat trigs Bond st(M k up and bring you i loser to your future dreams. and the dreams for your country's future. p Take Best Homemade Mexican Food in the Valley! FRESH DAILY Midway Lounge & Cafe injncrica. skiip- - LIFO Cafe separate from lounge Children welcome Luncheon specials Take-ou- t food in 6 pool tables lounge Family atmosphere . 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