Show HER MAIDEN FEARS george there was an anxiety just a little of it in the girls tone what is it lovea I 1 read something in the paper that alarmed me what was it niagara falls aie wearing away at the rate 0 more than 12 inches a year and in the course of some hundreds of years will be gone entirely what ot thata you know it Is such a delightful place at which to spend a honeymoon yes I 1 had set my heart on going there on our honeymoon Y e es we have been engaged tour years now about that length of time she laid her head on his shoulder and sobbed in that time boohoo fully 60 inches of the falls have been worn away boo hoo and I 1 m afraid they all be gone before before oh dear what am I 1 saying lf Is ever mind love said george ten derly as he kissed her cheeks don t cry well go before the falls are worn away how would next septem her that will do nicely sweetheart and she was happy again royal magazine NO satisfying SOME PEOPLE friend on top what a lucky thing that tree stump was there ikey ikey Mos enstein lucky oh lor look at mine new pants all torn to rags mistress and maid mrs boarding house keep er what have you in this pot bridget bridget who Is trying to clean the old lamp burners by boiling them diaze mum thim s th lamp tops they waz no use at all at all mrs Slim diet well don t forget to put in plenty of seasoning new york weekly in a proscenium box mrs de rich listening to new prima donna at the opera she splendid 9 mr de rich wealthy manufacturer enthusiastically just grand ashes worthy of a place alongside of patti in my soap advertisements new york weekly A GIVE AWAY maxine yes all the girls on the beach said they knew you kissed me while we were both diving under water sydney surprised gracious how did they knowd maxine why they saw the bubbles come up to the surface A last resort mrs H my husband Is out of work and o it of money and I 1 am going to get a divorce from him mrs and then how are you go ing to get alonga mr H on the alimony of course puck the natural way your rival has go ahead of you jenks he won your lady s favor by presenting her small nephews with a big billy goat there 1 knew the impudent fel low would find a way to butt in bal american cause for jealousy the matter with the bar hera he s jealous about the boss just put in another talk ng machine yonkers statesman more room needed how many persons do you seat in a asked the parson well we used to seat five but since the merry widow hat made its appearance only two yonkers statesman struck the what the car hurt oua victim ya as hurta me vera mooch motorist then why do you laugh victim you hitta ma funny boa THE BALD TRUTH barber do you know of anything that would tie good for that bald spot on the crown of my headd yes sir but it would be pretty ex pensive how much probably not less than 25 TS it a sure thing yes sir what do you call if A wig sir that was the time the barber dian didn t get any tip chicago tribune SAVING HIS conscience prospective buyer place entirely en tirell tree from mosquitoes 9 hiram thoughtfully yes it you come around at the highl time of ear W aling to wa t miss de rich now my love must pa mr de oh I 1 m in no hurry let s wait I 1 do not object to a long engage ment II 11 it Is bour wish but hoa longa um er how old Is your paa new york W dekl hard briggs they say the french are deteriorating I 1 know it the last time I 1 was over in france I 1 coulden couldn t even make them understand their own lan guage lite industrious mrs Handout Did you help at th town fire last nighta tramp A little I 1 got out of the way of the fire engine chicago jour nal sure pa well the angels live up in th sky don t yes I 1 suppose so they re star boarders aint they paa cleveland leader A nice time miss tiptop did you enjoy yourself at the opera last evening 9 miss hestend westend oh awfully mr blatherskite is the most delightful I 1 ever attended a musical performance with New york weekly rooster the dog bill what do you call your doga I 1 call him rooster funny name for a dog aby roos tera because he s a setter dog but he never lays any eggs yonkers statesman A positive defense wile this looks blat against you hu band wife the note I 1 found in your pocket ribbon tor my typewriter husband black I 1 was sure I 1 or dered purple ink baltimore ameri can both need seasoning holmes knowledge and umbel be much used till they are seasoned SOME REST henry do I 1 ever talk in my sleep no thank goodness sensible heiress not wed the count lie said his bride nei er in H s castles fair are in the air I 1 d suffer front insomnia there so it tor me chicago dally nw |