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Show The Salt Lake TribuneTIME & TECHNOLOGY Virtual Cemeteries Spark New WebSites on Internet BY MICHAEL STOH ‘SCRIPPS-McCLATCHY NEWS SERVICE SACRAMENTO,Calif. — When her 14-year-old daughter, Whis- per, died suddenly of heart troubles, Carmen Curry wasdevastated. She didn't wantto work, didn't want to go out, didn’t want any face-to-face contactatall. Then the Vacaville womandis- covered an unusual way to find solace: by creating a monument to Whisper on one of a dozen Internet graveyards. These Websites — with names such as WorldWideCemetery, Virtual Heaven and Angels Online — offer the bereaved a hightech way to mourn, to send condo- lences,to sharetheir loss. “People don’t want to be for- gotten,” said Sharon Mnich, who operates the popular Virtual Memorials site from Georgia. “A newspaper is only in print for one day. A tombstonehas only enough room for a date, a dash, and a date.” The Internet, she said, allows people to create something lasting, and to fill in everything that happens between the dashes on a tombstone. On the Internet the bereaved can weavetogether elements such as video clips from the deceased’s sweet-sixteen party, a page froma handwritten diary, or even a snippet of a favorite song into stunning multi-media memorials impossible to create in the real world, Visitors, meanwhile, can ap- pend short message — or “‘virtual rose” as they’re called here — to pay their respects. Curry’s tribute to Whisper on Virtual Memorials is a simple one: a picture of her daughter and a long, distraught letter.It has at- tracted more than 500 visitors from places as far away as Africa and England. Many leave messages to tell her about their own experiencesof losing a child. “T know a lot of people think a computer is cold and heartless, but I find it completely the opposite,” said Curry, 41, a social worker. “It brings me comfort, a way to connect and deal with the pain.” Virtual memorials also provide relatives scattered around the world with a way to pay their respects. “With time anddistance, probably a lot of relatives and friends are neverableto visit the actual grave site,” said Roger Ancell, who runs the cyber- cemetery An- gels Online from his homein Virginia. “You can hop on the Web and get together no matter where you are.” When 38-year-old Edward Wright's younger brother and mother died recently, the Sacra- mento man created an online memorial for them as a way to get the word out. “We know people from one end of the country to the other, and I really wanted to let them know that, ‘Hey, we'restill here in the area,” said Wright. Since the memorials are acces- sible any time, they can also be invaluable sources of comfort. Mnich, for example, tells the story of one man who, afterlosing his wife, would wake upin the middle ofthenightfeeling lonely and vis- it his spouse’s virtual gravesite “Since you can’t go to the cemetery at three in the morning, he would log onto his computer and spend as muchtimeas he wanted, sending her little messages like 'I miss you,’ ” said Mnich. Online memorials may be cheaperthan putting an ad in the newspaper or paying for a tomb- stone. Somesitesoffer the service free; others ask for donations ranging from $10 to $100 or more, depending on the complexity of the memorial. Many Internet graveyards started as laborsof love and grad- ually turned into small homebased businesses, although many who run them say they barely break even, Mnich’s Virtual Memorials be- gan as a tribute to her grandfa- Friday, June 12, 1998 A Will Helps Sidestep Squabbles When Parents Die Dear Ann:I’m writing this let- ANN LANDERS ter hoping my mom and dad will read it and recognize themselves, and do something aboutthe time bomb they are creating in our family. Nothingis worse, after parents pass away, than to have this middle-school classroom. — Kathleen O'Brien Wooddell, Lan don Middle School, Jacksonville. Fla. Dear Kathleen O’Brien Wooddell and Students: their childrenfight over their belongings. | knowof situations wheresiblings quit speaking to one another because of squabbles a fewsamples: dad suggested thatif anyone have chosento leave youchildren wanted anything specific in their home, they should write their specific “gifts” is tailor-made for trouble. I hope theyrecognize nameon the back ofthe item. There are 10 of us. Some of the themselves and write a will siblings have their names on one Dear Ann: You recentlyprinted an essay about how to know the value of a year, a month, a day and so on. I teach creative item, some on none, and others on several. And, of course, some of us wantthe sameitems. Tell me, Ann, is this legal? Is this fair? Will it stand up in court if one of us should sue? My mom writing at a racially diverse middle school. I wrote thefirst half and dad seem blind to the prob- of each proposition on the board lems they arecreating. I've the best possible “measure” for each unit of time. They had so andlet the students brainstorm learned one thing through this nerve-wracking situation — I will never do this to my kids. — Wis- right. The method your parents many good ideas that I had each studentcreate his or her ownlist I have enclosed their suggestions, if you are interested in sharing some of them with your If you want to knowthe value If you want to know the value of a gallon: Aska truck driver. If you wantto knowthe value of a pint: Ask someone who needs blood. of a month: Ask a teen-ager who’s been grounded. If you wantto know thevalue of a week: Ask a student with a science project due. If you want to knowthe value of a day: Ask a substitute teacher. If you want to knowthe value of an hour: Ask a womanin la- bor. If you want to knowthevalue of a teaspoon: Aska sick child If you wantto knowthevalue of a phonecall: Ask the person whojust put in a job application. If you want to knowthe value of discipline: Ask mylittle sister. If you want to know the value of forgiveness: Ask a person on death row. If you want to knowthe value of a minute: Ask a guy getting bombarded with questions by the parentsof the girl whois still upstairs getting readyfor their date. If you want to knowthe value of a second: Ask a basketball If you want to know the value of a child: Ask the couple that can’t have one. To find out more about Ann Landers and readher past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators- player, downby1, in possession of the ball. SHOW & SALE Furniture, Jewelry, Glass, 11-14 All Mall Memorabilia, China, Pottery, Col llectibles, Quilts & so much more. 10450 South State Street .com, ING W(Na Hours by: Acc orn Antique Guild 602-258-5700 ® qrraurt ther, an adventurer andpilot who lived in turn-of-thi If you want to know the value A UTAH TRADITION FoR 20 YEARS! ANTIQUE Preser nted back. If you want'to know thevalue of an inch: Ask a bungeejumper could notprint them all, here are A few years ago, my mom and If you want to know the value of a millisecond: Ask a gymnast If you want to know the value of a yard: Ask an NFLrunning of a foot: Ask an architect Thank you for some veryimagi native responses. Although I over whatwas left. consin Reader Dear Wisconsin: You are readers. Thank you for two won- derful, thought-provoking days in wre id (ene CC HhCe tury Afri- ca and who had amassed treasure-trove of safari snapshots. Whenherrelatives started to ar- gueover who should keep the mementos, Mnich decided to put them online. Gradually, as people started to e-mail her with photosandstories of their own loved ones, the ar- chive grew. Today almost 900 people have created tributes on Virtual Memorials. Mnich takes her caretaker job seriously. Until recently, the computer containing all the memori- This ain’t your typical EO D=E-&> als sat in her closet. When Mnich would go to the shopping mall, she would try to find somewhere to log on, to make sure her computer hadn't crashed. Each month she dutifully backed-up the digital graveyard onto disks and mailed them to friends for safe keeping. PATIO FURNITURE SAVINGS Wecarry a tremendous selection at unbeatable values. No ropin’. No ridin’. ou’ve never seen4 i before, Come catch the 7™ ANNUAL beginning tomorrowat 9 a: from all over the West compete in high-wire events like the pole climb, rope splice, hurt man rescue and more.It’s a full day for the whole fantily featuring food, fun and stuff for the kids, including Accessories, Gliders, Swings, Bar-B-Q’s, Rockers, Tables, Chairs, Tea Carts, Benches & Much More! “The Patio Furniture Specialists” 5, Leisuré Living 2174 S$ 1100 E SHOP (Rear) Mon.-Sat. 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