Show 1 ACROSS THE TELE POND Uen bol 1 june 22 wars and ru NA of W warb ars we have them on every abul ahen n I 1 left london some borne weeks caits be bedeck decked ed with a meang union jack and old gory glory headlong nur 1 A abb at t evry hour gp dweitt sosa editions wet from the t vank off af vest in their amx anxiety lety to catch baltch the be fleeting penny eve ere yer ware hare sir hasful shorter Sl orter one mule killed at matanzas etc to tb wear a pair of american pointed toed shoes was a glaring per ambulating ambula ting advertisement of ones nationality tiona lity and consequently the center of attraction for every thieving little ananias of a news vendor that chanced along nes way really if this thing stop pretty soon there is no telling where it will end every elders room looks like an editorial sanctum sanc turn five minutes after the chief has mislaid millaid his spectacles papers papers everywhere on the walls the floor flexor and all over the available furniture special editions lie around like the leaves of an autumn day the average missionary may forego an extra luxury or two but newspapers never they are no longer luxuries they are necessaries of course lit it would be folly at this hour to say aay anything regarding sentiments of the rank and file of En glands people upon the subject of the ex cohanne oh ange of courtesies between uncle sam and don pedro for with a very few exceptions they axe are in heart and soul with america and follow the one sided contest with manifest interest at an early stage of the war in fact before hostilities had developed to any extent some of the boys into the Shaft abury theater to see dan daly and the belle of new york just to help the thing along and save it from a frost at the hands of the one sordid phlegmatic so to speak our services were not required however for it caught on at onoe once in the second scene where an american jack tar comes down the bowery even unto the footlights bearing in either hand the stars and stripes together with the british flog flag the aud audience lence went delirious but the chol chorus was reached united ted well stand against the world the whole house whistled stamped and yelled until one nearly sneezed his head bead off with the dust that thai was raised one might further tell of a meeting of w working men upon trafalgar square to protest regarding treatment of the cubans but all that is stale news ere this reaches utah oh yes yea england is all right why even the half starved looking vendor of penny toy bagpipes outside charing cross station on the strand strikes up yankee doodle very every e time a pair of narrow toed shoes and a fedora hat bat crosses the line of his viston of course he may have a sordid mercenary motive in so s 0 doing but nevertheless it shows the popular spirit regarding ding the war in london after all we are am beginning to get tired not as much of the war but of the innumerable critics that naive have sprung up when we are not mot discussing knotty scriptural problems the critic Is in his 61 element ement the boy who once assisted a eat in its peregrina eions with the aid of a 22 saloon rifle now mw talks learnedly upon durn dum durn dum bullets smokeless powder and kindred subjects but it Is the naval expert who us with mallos malice and all after all he is in harmless but nevertheless very irritating to begin with he could not define the difference between the talula and a chinese junk much less an armed and armored cruiser he has haa never seen a warship but that to is of no consequence his sea experience is limited to lying in his bunk and as the vessel rolled occasionally he would get through the port hole there he lay IRY the live long voyage gorging his highly strung interior upon an epicurean repast of biscuit and soda until assisted ashore for repair at liverpool heince henceforth for th and forever more to be looked upon ubon a an expert upon matters marine for has haa he not crowed crossed the at i lantic alantic to hear him criticise criticism critic ise admiral sampson and admiral dewey or to discourse learnedly upon whitehead torpedoes and pneumatic gims is sublime one of the it if not the biggest of battles ever fought in the flesh line occurred at the albert hall a few nights ago when persons persona including the prince of wales sat down to tola record feast it was on the occasion of the annual free masons banquet the basis of attack were laid upon yards of tablecloths and occupied by pieces of glassware pieces of crockery 2900 silver plated dishes 1000 china dishes 1000 plated fruit stands etc aares the enemy were with knies forks spoons and serviettes servie ties it must have been a grand battle to see the attacking forces urged on by some waiters fall upon and demolish the defenseless enemy here is the caterers cateress list of killed and wounded as supplied by the daily mail one thousand one hundred and twenty pounds of salmon 1200 lobsters 2 whole calves and I 1 pig 80 large sur purloins sur loins of beef necks of lamb pounds ot of pressed beef W hams chickens pigeons 2500 quails ox tongues pounds vegetables 1300 lettuces lettu ces jellies ice puddings pineapples melons 1000 bananas with a whole list too numerous to mention that the enemy lost their spirits must be inferred from the fact that 72 bottles of whisky 12 brandy 2450 quart bottles of champagne bottles hock 60 bottles sherry 50 bottles claret port and dozen of mineral waters had disappeared after the onslaught who says johnny bull cant eat and drink but it is principally the champagne against the devil that interests we sojourners jour ners in a strange land last month from a standpoint has been the most successful for many years past from every portion of the european mission have come in reports of the spreading of the work of the lord that are if possible more than encouraging cou raging especially from the comparative new fields such as palestine and the older district sare not behind hand in reporting baptisms to an extent above the average consequently the devil has been looking into things somewhat and indulging in the usual demonstrations and proceeding tw to fight with his usual tactics although some of his ordinances may be classed among the obsolete nevertheless he I 1 has not given up the fight his gunners for the most part can be recognized by their distinctive uniforms generally a white tie de low crowned felt hat and a broadcloth suit of black they their favor the chinese style of fighting and answer good honest broadsides broad sides with stinkpots stink pots of abuse and scurrilous slander either at close quarters upon the street corners or at long range through the press while his infantry antly indulges in an a guerilla warfare of hooting sarcasm and once in a while brickbats brick bats and antiquated vegetables in Holl holland aad elder bider avrum hand had a little experience of this kind of returning one ev evening ning from visiting some at hoog kerk A mob of some twenty five rol hoi street corner audience in facts fact he landers intercepted elder hand anahis companion they had bad ate ah time the mob increased in size stones began to fly botu both elders being compelled to beat a retreat elder hand several times being thrown down and kicked with their wooden shoes finally helas be was hustled into a wide ditch whereupon he beat a strategic retreat to the other side and others escaped his companion getting off more easily he being a twelve second man gave a food account of himself ader I 1 phillp philip phillps S 6 maycock who is fis labor hiar nir in hi the turkish mission reports tour bard ments of the meeting baue steere he is laboring but stoical femrit rem rit of course if the atone alte comes serious we shall have to appeal lor for protection but so long as it keeps within limits it is rather a good advertisement verti for us in london there dwells a miserable specimen of humanity who glories in the euphemistic appellation of schaller whose sole stock in trade not forgetting his incurable weakness of lurid lying consists of a weather beat en banner that bears the legend mormon murders together with an awful atrocity artistically in the shape of a picture illustrating an alleged mormon priest cutting the throat of a certain mrs maxwell he also is furnished with some pamphlets likewise illustrated that ought to be preserved as typographical curios of these he to is constantly reminding his punctuates his lectures on mormonism with a reference to the same only one penny each As he unblushingly admits when cross examined on the subject that he has never been out of england his lecture is somewhat untellable unreliable nevertheless the sensation loving street loafer does not mind a little discrepancy such as that of course it is a regular gold mine for him to follow the elders around at their open ropen air meetings and consequently sells out on every occasion by dint of patience and long suffering buffering elders stewart and stringfellow succeeded ded in getting their audiences over to their side last summer at where things ultimately got extremely nauseating to this aforesaid purveyor of penny dread fuls the london elders opened up a new district at watford this spring and so great has been the interest in their teachings that a hall ball that has been hired in the center of the town has been crowded on sunday evenings and large crowds listen to them on the streets during week nights needless to remark the elders were somewhat chagrined to see that schaller had come down from london with an extra edition of his penny horrible one evening three weeks ago when they were about to start an open air meeting that saturday night was distinctly Sc hallers the appearance of elders stringfellow and anderson being greeted with cries of down with the mormons cormons Mor mons duck lem em kill lem em 11 the crowd promptly made a rush for the boys smashing their hats and indulging in a regular rough and tumble display under the very nose of the solitary policeman on the square who promptly advised them to get out to the outskirts which they did followed by schaller schall er an and d his imps As the rocks in that part of watford were not glued down the procession headed back to town cross lots finally the police realized that the mormon baiting had goner gone far enough and rescued the principals and escorted them to the police sta eta tion hon where they were subsequently not exactly let over the wall wail in a basket but ushered out the back entrance whilst wat Sc Se baller continued his harangue upon the market place such in brief are aim the devils methods of fighting truth troth aftem twenty months experience in the feld affeld I 1 have yet to find the man who will fight mormonism upon doctrinal grounds despite the fact they unhesitatingly designate it as fiction and rand fraud the staff here at headquarters has become somewhat depleted brother edwin F parry who has for the two years past ably assisted in editing the star and further answering scurrilous attacks on the latter day saints on all occasions occa siona through the columns of the press called last week on the lucanda for home he was aeo accompanied ompa by elder C L rose who has made a record by the number of tracts an and an edition of the doctrine and covenants that tutu he ue aas ha run off on out oui in the miniature press room down toe hamd 1 president rulon is 8 weh ahw luo hae left for an extensive trip on th tb continent where he will visit all the various conferences ere he returns on the same day dr james E talmage arrived on the Etu ruria convoying a valuable case of ammunition in the shape of numerous views of sceneries in the beehive state ready mounted for lecturing purposes the stereopticon searchlight is a new up to date development in the warfare against the usurper satan who will have to wake up somewhat and get the strategic beard into ae action tio n one by one his obsolete muzzle loaders are getting dismantled ard and only in rural districts in great britain es that moss covered piece of siege artillery the mormon danite and throat cutting gag ever explode with any some time back major jeneral re william jarman indulged in some pyrotechnics in the peaceful little kentish town of dover the rabble was stirred up to the extent of indulging in the usual hoodlum display our gental genial eyed doctor he with the walter scott brow late of cedar city was openly accused of de camping with six of dovers oom com liest hired girls however the paper of the town saw through the major general of the brimstone and the following editorial note was the consequence anything more revolt ing or vulgar than the discourse which the ex mormon arit priest st delivers to expose his former associates in utah it Is ia impossible to conceive but what hat passes my comprehension is that there are people willing to accept for gospel the strange and startling narratives which the west countryman retails for the edification of his excited hearers I 1 dont want to use any improper language concerning the details of mr jarmans stories but I 1 may say that I 1 for one decline absolutely to treat him im au se rieux nothing will induce me to believe that mr jarmans facts exist other than in his own fertile and morbid imagination I 1 once took up bis book chilling plain two shillings cloth covered as a matter of curiosity but I 1 had not read a score of pages before I 1 resolved to resign it to the refuse heap I 1 hope for the sake of the dustmann dust mans finer feelings that he did not ot discover it etc ate another old time weapon of attack is in danger of being placed on the retired list viz the downtrodden women of utah wheeze this one time effective weapon of offense is likewise classed among the antiques several of these downtrodden women have during the past two years spoken in public over here and created quite an impression reinforcements have arrived and two bright intelligent utah girls slaters sisters jennie brimhall and inez inea knight who have been called and set apart for a mission to great britain are now successfully engaged in rendering another pet missile of slander hors de combat gro GEO E CARPENTER |