Show 14D Standard-Eainin- Sunday June er 5 1988 Horizons Tricky are actually the nation's ultimate weapon 2-year-- olds People throughout the world have heard a Jot about! weaponry in the last few weeks as leaders of two nations discussed disarmament It reminded mf that a few weeks ago trough an airport mother of a screaming her As our eyes met d shouted “You drag-sig- At Wit’s End Erma Bombeck Universal Press Syndicate ht has an operational range of three to 10 miles Requires minimum fuel Is stockpiled globally and deploys whenever the mood strikes This sounds dramatic but I have seen one small bring 130 people on an airplane to the edge of Valium just by p for five hours crying un-Bu- ?” aid “Courage sister” nother reading this col-lrelate to the Weight: d around 25 pounds When ot awe-2-year-- land-base- non-sto- i and SEVE BECKER King Features Syndicate® South dealer North-Sout- h vulnerable NORT aaj VA K dlO 62 J7 AST hj 108632 ! A J 4 5 A542 SOUTH AQ9 75 32 VQ7fl 7 j AAK1Q r 1 short-live- Popular new pastime Bridgd The bidding: it South West North East 1 A 3?A Pass Pass 3A Pass NT Pass 5 Pass A 10 of clubs lead Opening A player must occasionally pay for even a minor nistake That’s exactly what happened in this Meal where South tiled to make a Islam he should have made He won the j:lub lead and slayed a low spajde to the jack hich also won JBut eventually le had to go doWn one when he ost a trump trick and a diamond South would have made the :1am had he led the queen of spades instead of the deuce at trick two planning to finesse In the actual case if West covers vyith the king declarer takes the ape and with East showing out later finesses against West’s 10 Tjie only trick declarer loses is a d amond The queen isHechnically the ri ht play as it wins not only wjen West has the singleton or ddubleton king but also when he hasthe tripleton king prdinarily playing the deuce to the jack would not be a fatal error because it loses only in those hands where West has all thr :e trumps as opposed to those haqds where West has precisely thejdoublcton king Assuming that South plans to fmejsse in spades the queen lead nevfcr costs hirtl a trick But the deu?e lead sometimes costs him a tricjc so it is Better to lead the j queen becoming too vulgar Far be it from Miss Manners to grudge society a new sport but the currently popular pastime of nouveaux riches bashing is growing increasingly vulgar She would like to propose some substitute rules that would make it more sporting Right now there is altogether too much talk about “new money” and “old money” and how it is spent The very terms are unseemly in America where we are supposed to admire ingenuity and industry and despise unearned assumptions of superiority And never mind the fact that the most fervent users of these t£rms seem to be people who made it rich on Thursday and are anxious to heap scorn on those who got rich on Friday But freshly acquired riches because they are in the possession of those who actually did the labor ought to be the more esteemed We do not admire an artist’s indolent offspring more than the artist why should an heir be more admired for his fortune than the ancestor whose abilities amassed it? Miss Manners knows the answer of course It is that whatever our principles earning is never as attractive to us as spending And the former requires so much time and energy as rarely to leave one with the leisure to learn the fine points of the latter It is understandable that the newly rich with their fresh shopping lists and the excitement at being able to indulge themselves should accept this standard It seems simple enough and fun too They will soon realize the fallacy of believing that more is Miss Manners Judith Martin United Feature Syndicate always better correct their excesses and start bashing the even more newly rich But the flashy spenders are not alone in their vulgarity Equally disgusting are those who set the trap of whether they are the elderly rich or the many theorists who do not claim to be rich but who ruthlessly analyze people’s belongings as if they were significant clues Miss Manners may seem to be taking the sappily virtuous stand that one must refrain from any judgment until appreciation of the inner soul is possible Not at all She just has a better superficial standard to suggest It is of course manners How you choose to behave is she submits a pretty good basis for justifiable snobbery In this she would tend to go easy at first on newcomers about the details of refined manners The tricks of advanced etiquette must be learned by those who have not acquired them at home but they are not that hard But she would be ruthless on the more general manners of behaving decently to others exhibiting consideration when there is a conflict of wishes and decent control when expressing dissatisfaction That is something everyone can acquire and knows about H0FIMAN CLEANERS DRAPERY CLEANING BLIND CLEANING 399-181- 5 Sell Your Home With Classified 394-167- 1 H03E ira Dad Something To Smile bout EXCELLENT GIFT PACKAGE FOR DAD OR GRANDFATHER! 1—8x10 i 3-- 5x7 2—4x5 J 12— Wallets 0 195 rn 23 H Reorder pr Package Includes FREE 8x10 Nova Frame (Vatu M 50) and two 4x5 Gift Folders (Offer expires June 18th) FAST SERVICE 3-D- NEWGATE MALL OGDEN 394-332- 2 couple of years they will be incapable of picking up towels off the floor and putting them on the rack or holding their own heads up at the table as they eat but during this year there is nothing they cannot do if they set their minds to it They are also equipped with maneuvers that wouldn’t work for anyone else in the world These are graphic displays that leave nothing to the imagination The combo sends every mother in the world scrambling to give them whatever it is they want The sit-i- n tactic is used by a who wants to be carried or go in the fun-seeke- rs J By B JAY I have witnessed firsthand what happens to a carful of madcap off on a giddy holiday when a kicks the seat for 450 miles and whines “1 wanta sit by the window” From the age of 2 to 3 youngsters are endowed with an extraordinary strength They can move a piano to get to a penny that was dropped behind it They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub They can scale a wall to get to the cupboard with the bananas They can bend a television aerial in half on a roof with their bare hands d The strength is In another LAYTON HILLS MALL LAYTON 547-032- 2 Young workers worry opposite direction He will simply plop down in the middle of wherever and Refuse to move Anyone younger would be left at home Anyone older would be arrested But it works for a The most effective attack is the waterworks number They simply open up jhe tear ducts and let them flow for as long as tears are effective This is accompanied by a sound of unbelievable decibels If this sound belonged to an airliner it would not be allowed to land or fly over any airport in the country the ultimate weapon And Reagan and Gorbachev never even mentioned them Two-year-ol- MINIIBUINDIS co about health care too jap cio3 NEW YORK (AP) — Many health people believe long-tercare insurance is something that only concerns older workers m But says Aetna Life & Casualty it is equally of interest to younger employees Aetna says a survey of 6000 people who enrolled in group long-tercare showed 66 percent were under 50 and almost 15 percent were under m 30 The fact that such a significant group of younger people signed up for a benefit they may not need for some years indicates a growing consumer awareness of the need for long-tercoverage the firm says m TWO WEEK DELIVERY HUNDREDS OF DESIGNER COLORS TO CHOOSE FROM Alum PVC Newport Only OGDEN 479-166- 6 HwntM fttvd Ctiwtry Hilit Plot UIOT37M443 2 UlTUK W2 Eal 9400 South 2432 South sot 4305 Sovth Saody llati TOUR SOURCE FOR Shutter Wood Blind Woven Wood WSippw |