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Show SEPTEMBER 29, 1987 Lindemans to be feted Marriage dynamic, prof says The family of Paul R. and Laho-m- a L. Lindeman will host an open house in honor of the couples golden wedding anniversary. Family and friends are invited to attend the open house, Saturday, Oct. 10 from p.m. It will be held at the LDS 29th Ward Chapel located at 1954 E. Antelope Drive (2000 N.), Layton. They were married Oct. 4, 1937 in the Salt Lake LDS Temple and are the parents of nine sons. They also have 37 grandchildren. They have lived in Santa Monica, Calif., St. George and Layton where they have lived since 1942. They have been active in the LDS Church, serving in various positions. Paul Lindeman was bishop of the Layton 3rd Ward and his wife has been ward and stake Relief Society president. In 1972 he was called by the First Presidency to be the recorder of the Ogden LDS Temple. After serving there for years, the couple was called on three different 1 1 Marriage Logan Temple evolving. Staying in love with a person is like shooting at a moving target. The reason for the trouble of mar- - Philippines Temple. These missions covered a period of time from July 1983 to April 1987. They are now home in Layton enjoying their extended family and many friends. They request no gifts, please. Vs. I JASON DANIEL V. LANGEVIN ROBINSON Happy Birthday congratulates two youngsters on their first birthdays: Jason V. Langevin, son of Aaron and Linda Langevin now of Ogden, whose birthday was Aug. 17 Robinson, son of Gregory and and Daniel Lynn Robinson of 8 N. 300 E., Kaysville, Sept. 29. The Davis Reflex-Journ- al Lee-Alexand- er Ceremony unites pair The bride wore an imported were-trimme- Brigham Young University, spoke during the recently completed Families Alive conference at Weber State, and told participants that to keep a marriage alive both partners must appreciate that people, and relationships are always missions: London England Temple, Lima Peru Temple and Manilla The former Miss Kristina Hendrickson and David W. Major were married Friday, Sept. 25 in the Salt Lake Temple. The bride is a daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Alven M. Hendrickson of Fruit Heights. The groom is a son of Mr. and Mrs. Richard B. Major of Kaysville. A wedding luncheon followed at the Lion House, hosted by the groom's parents. A reception was held that evening at the Kaysville Municipal Center. with seed pearls. The medallion bordered skirt fell into a ruffled cathedral train. Attending the bride were Colette Condie, Terri Law, Holly Bizzell and Michelle Hendrickson. Alesa Hendrickson served as flower girl. The bride graduated from Davis High School and has attended three years at Weber State College. She is now employed at ZCMI at the Layton Hills Mall. The groom is a 1982 graduate change, PAUL R. AND LAHOMA L. LINDEMAN Temple rites unite couple gown of white crystalette featuring embroidered organza medallions, the bodice and mandarin collar. The Juliette puffed sleeves relationships people must change with it, prof, says. People dont stay in love in a marriage by default, a marriage expert told a workshop group at Weber State College. Successful marriage takes effort and the realization that things change. Dr. Brent Barlow, a marriage counselor who teaches at The Salt Lake LDS Temple was the setting Sept. 2 for the marriage MR. AND MRS. of Colette Maurine Lewis and RusDAVID W. MAJOR sell Noalen Condie. Pres. Thomas S. Monson officiated. The bride is a daughter of Mr. from Davis High. He is a 1987 graduate from Weber State College. and Mrs. E. Bowen Lewis of KaysHe is currently a second lieutenant ville. The groom is a son of Mr. and in the Utah National Guard. Also Mrs. Howard G. Condie of West this spast summer David graduated Valley City. A wedding luncheon followed at from the Utah Murray Police Lion House, hosted by the the Academy. The couple will be moving to Ft. grooms parents. A reception was held that evenBenning, Ga. for Davids military schooling. From ' there they plan to ing also at the Lion House. The bride wore a gown of white return to Utah. satin, silk organza, and alceon lace, enhanced with hand sewn sequins and pearls. She carried a bouquet of roses, lilies and babys breath. Attending the bride were Kris Hendrickson, Linda Lewis, Caryn Lewis and Lynette Condie. wedding site Natasha Harper served as flower girl, and Lori Lewis was at the guest book. They wore tea length deep dusty rose taffeta dresses accented with lace and bows, carrying nosegays of pink roses, lilies, and babys breath. Dean and Sandra Harper and Linda Lewis provided the music, including piano, guitar, violin and Loni West and Myron Casdorph were married Sept. 18 in the Logan1 LDS Temple. A reception was held that evening in their honor in Rexburg, Ida. An open house was held in Layton Sept. 26. The bride is a graduate of Madison High School and Ricks College in Rexburg, Ida. She is currently a senior at Utah State University. She served an LDS mission to mother not You treat my mother lousy. Say what you want instead of what you dont want," he said. The professor told the WSC group that most wives like to be verbally assured they are loved, but for men such expressions are often viewed as "unmanly, said Dr. Barlow. "Theres the man who says, 'I told you 20 years ago that I love you 20 years ago that 1 love you. If the first to know.' For men it's n a sign of weakness to show they have feelings, but if they cant say I love you, say a lot of other things that mean the same 1 1 appreciate you, care tor you, and so on," Dr. Barlow said. Words do something to people. As individuals verbally alter their behavior by expressing their feelings they find that those feelings become more real. Disclosure, or the sharing of thoughts and feelings, is to say trust you," he said. Support for a spouse is also important in good marriage, the kind of support that goes beyond the verbal, he said. "You have to listen and encourage and give of yourself, your time, money and efforts." A husband may, for instance, encourage his wife to take a self improvement class. But wjien he finds that the class will cost $200 and mean that he has to watch the children twice a week the support vanishes. Dr. Barlow said. "Its really nice to encourage, but for me to come in and supply money and child care is a different kind of support. What husbands often tell their wives is you can go if you can handle everything yourself. Thats not support, he said. The marriage therapist warned against directing, or telling the spouse what to do. Nothing will kill a good marriage faster, he said. When one says to another that you have to do this its the beginning of the demise. You cannot mandate love, Dr. Barlow said. Love thrives on freedom and choice, he noted. riages is that people treat their marriage partners as being the same," Dr. Barlow said. 1 reallv believe that what we are is more important than what we have been, and what we have become is more important than what we are now," he added. A prime example of change is how a wife or husband receives and gives love. When a couple is first dating a phone call, a date, or a kiss expresses vast amounts of love. As the relationship becomes a marriage, however, spouses must find new ways to demonstrate affection. Therein lies one of the challenges of marriages, he said, since wives and husbands often show love in different ways. I challenge any of you to be loving to your spouse without knowing how they perceive that love. Its not possible." Dr. Bar-losaid. Men display adoration by bringing flowers, candy, taking their wives out to dinner, and giving them a kiss. "That's the standard package, right? What more could a woman want? But many times what the women desire is something completely different. For them, on that day, love may mean cleaning the kitchen or taking care of the children, or something entirely different. One man came home, saw his wife had had a hard day, and, as an act of love, went to the basement and began doing the ironing. She, however, interpreted that as saying that she was not capable, and literally threw him out of the laundry room, he said. Dr. Barlow suggested a written exercise to help spouses better understand how to give and receive love. The first What have I done to question, help make you feel loved in the past?" focuses on previous sucWhat cesses, and the second, could I do in the future to help you feel more loved and cherished? helps set achievable goals. The responses should be positive: I wish youd be nicer to my ol-te- 1 n, Birkenfeld to celebrate 80th MR. AND MRS. RUSSELL NOALEN CONDIE Kirby Company and is a junior at the University of Utah in business communication. He has filled a Florida Talahassee mission. Prenuptial parties were given by Janet Hintze and Christie Allred, Anne Walters, Sarah Harris and Pat Peterson, Kris Hendrickson and Holly Bizzell, and Lynette and Karen Condie. After a honeymoon in Hawaii, the newlyweds will make their home in Bountiful. Delmar E. (Speed) Birkenfeld, Kaysville, is celebrating his 80th birthday. He was bom Oct. 6, 1907 in Deep Creek, Ore. to Ben and Estella Birkenfeld. He lived in Oregon most of his young life, moving to Utah in 1958 where he has worked for the Clarence Waterfall Co. as a truck driver before retiring. He married Carol V. Hyde on Sept. 17, 1938 in Washington. He has two sons and two daughters, Calvin Gene Birkenfeld, Bountiful; Del Wray, South Jordan and Mrs. Lynn (Teddy) Foxley and Mrs. Stan (Carol Ann) Adams, both of Layton. He has seven grandchildren and two greatgrandchildren. The family is giving him an open house on Oct. 4, from p.m. at his home at 279 W. 1st S., Kays2-- 5 DELMAR E. BIRKENFELD ville. It is requested that gifts be omitted. singing. Copenhagen, Denmark. The groom is a graduate of Davis High School and Kaysville Seminary. He is currently a senior at Utah State University. He served Best man duties were performed by Brian Condie with Calvin Condie and Todd Lewis as ushers. Terrell, Shane, Kent, and Kevin Lewis served as The bride graduated from Davis High School. She is a junior in radiology tech at Weber State. She is working her clinical hours as a student at Lakeview Hospital and is employed by Kaysville Drug. The groom is employed by the gift-bearer- s. an LDS Chicago, Illinois mission. Parents of the bride are Gary and Vawna West of Rexburg, Ida. Parents of the groom are Richard and Carol Casdorph of Layton. MR. AND MRS. MYRON CASDORPH I was afraid to look in the mirror. It's hard to wake up one morning and realize you re a Deadline For All blimp. I cringed every time 1 kxrked in the mirror. Then a friend at work told me about Diet Center. In three weeks I lost 17 ugly pounds. Now feel so much better about myself. haw more and more energy." Lose weight while you gain a whole new self image. Talk to a Diet Center counselor today. Society Page News Sc Photos 1 O COMFORT WED. 4 P.M. 1 WITH STYLE! 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