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Show 4 (Indianapolis, 0 EDITOR'S NOTE: You may earn approximately $75 a month part-tim- e The Locksmithing it a Una School. Course presented in an seal lent manner." be familiar with Bob Melvin; he's the comedian who continually asks his audience, "Have you got a minute I" and explains that he has a special rating system for audiences. "No performer," he says, " could do a good show without a good audience, and you can do a bad show because of a bad audience. Once I. took off 20 points because the audience was tired. Later found out why. It's a typical occurrence: A couple came into the club it was a big, spacious one and when they finally got seated up front, the wife said she needed cigarettes. The husband went all the way back to the front lobby and got the cigarettes. Then the wife said: 'I'm chilly.' The husband got up, had to go all the way back to the checkroom to get her sweater. When he sat down again, she said: 'Let's dance.' He said: ' I'm tired.' She said: 'That's why I don't like to go out with you. You're always tired T "Now, as I do with every audience before I go. I'd like to give you a rating. Sixty-fiv- e is a passing mark. Now with " readers Bob Melvin has appeared in top clubs : Caesars Palace, Las Vegas; Latin Casino, Cherry Hill, NJ.; the Nugget in Reno, Nev.; Harrah's, Lake Tahoe, Nev. Here are some of his jokes: Lots of people believe in astrology and horoscopes. They believe that the heavenly bodies influence human behavior. It's a fact that when there's a full moon people act differently: the crime rate goes up which is reasonable; it's easier for muggers to see. I had an astrologer do a chart on me. He advised me to go into show business, n said I'd become the And till in whole world. the performer this day he feels he was right. He explains by saying there are too many performers who feel they are number one. second-best-know- live so close to Kennedy Airport that when the radar wasn't working one night the control tower called and begged me to leave my bedroom light on. It's frightening to sit in your own living room and see a sign flash on: "No Smoking." I always fly tourist. I sit in back of the I plane because I noticed one thing: when the front of the plane lands, the back comes in right after it. And for the extra few bucks what's my rush? fr Newspaper headlines which is great, because those things now! I can't do During the hot weather I keep the windows of my car closed, and everyone thinks I've got air conditioning. people are going away on tours. package They don't quite understand the restrictions. For instance, there was one advertisement: 15 days, A lot of 0. SAXE, Interesting career." or mote. Today a trained locksmith can lust about write his own ticket Earn at much ae ha wants to work. Earn In Ms spare time, In a business of his own, or in a highly-paiposition with someone else. Earn in almost any part of the country he wishes to kve. Learn at home earn as you loam. Let Locksmithing Institute show ydb absolutely free how you can qualify for this action field. The information card below will bring you fuN details about tha fast, easy course that trains you by doing for ties htghly-paiprofession See how you can learn at home, in your spar tima, even while you hold down your present fob. See machine and complete how ths set of tools Included with the course can put you in business earning money right whiie you are learning. LOCKSMITHING INSTITUTE LICENSED BY OF NEW JERSEY. ACCREDITED STATE APPROVED HURRY I MEMBER NATIONAL HOME STUDY APPROVED FOR VETERANS TRAINING. DIPLOMA. MAIL THIS ROOTAGE-FRE- E to Mail Coupon Below. (. YES, send me free information on euaeuuauueet CUT OUT. Ready opportunities in LOCKSMITHING INSTITUTE, Little Falls, N. J. 07424 Dept COOMCIL-STAT-E CAREM mmm HjSKET iscge G? Locksmithing 1252-06- 6 Please rush me FREE BOOKLET on opportunities in locksmithing. No salesman is to call. No obligation, I will read it in my home and let you know if I am interested. his $1000. 0rtrs 4 fltiOfia note. U .euwmnt LOCXS, next A TOOLS supplied lor use witti course went into one of those fast food places. It had a sign in the window: "$1.25, you eat like a pig." To eat like I a person, it cost $12. Name. Addres- s- State 1 Zip. City Check here if eligible for in college the and it's frightening way his mind works. He wants my wife and me to My son is taking pre-la- w Vete-an- s Benefits FOLD OVER AND MAIL TODAYI break up so he can practice. m First CUss Gin anyone Permit Number 137 tell me when a kid stops six foot being a kid? My yoyngest kid is one, weighs 185 pounds and sleeps in the kitchen so he can be near the refrigerator. Maybe it'll stop when he goes to college. Little Fails, N.J. BUSINESS REPLY MAIL No Poxtaga Stamp Nacoaaary If kUdad m tha Ur tad Statax POSTAGE WILL BE PAID BY able to go golfing, swimming, boating minutes." I SR. (Vista, Calif.) I have augmented my retirement by specialIn matter key izing systems. Thanks to the Locksmith ing Institute for a fine siart In a good paying and most TECHNICAL HOME STUDY SCHOOLS, Little Fells, New Jersey 07424 My friend invested a thousand and made a thousand. That's right, invested $1000 and then he made 1000 phone calls to find out what the hell happened wanted to get a hairpiece because saw these advertisements where you're I no wonder breaking. vandalized homes America Is locked up tighter than aver And there are more homes, more stores and factories, more hotels, more cars, and more people. And that means more keys and locks. The fast way to success . . . independence. From the start you gat practical axpartanca doing raal fobs on car locks, horn locks, padlocks, and safes. Within six months you can ba on tha road to comptata indapan-danc- a of bossas, low wags, layoffs, small ratiramant income Don't you owa It to yoursalf to gat tha facts today? Tha card Now won't avan cost you postage. No salesman will call You and you alone can make your deciston based on the straight-forwarfacts you will receive. $325 of sightseeing. What that really means is if you want to use the hotels and restaurants you see, it's extra. to home study courses and have never seen a batter one. I have recovered most of the cost of the course In part-tim- e wort without advertising." THOMAS Esm as much as $10 an hour tell the story. Pick up a paper any day. Burglary, house- went to return a clock radio and the woman at the complaint department asked: "What's wrong with it?" I said: "The clock isn't working." She said: "What are you worrying about? The radio gives you the time every seven I Ind.) While training I anted $100 end now by bob meIvin 0. WHITE (Tyler, Tax.) "I have taken several WALTER SPTCKER CHRIS LOCKSMITHING INSTITUTE DIV. OF TECHNICAL HOME STUDY SCHOOLS Little Falls, New Jersey 07424 |
