| Show OUR CHICAGO BUDGET OUR AS LIVELY AS EVER MURRAYS MUDDLE CHICAGO jan 2 ith 1884 editor deseret netos mews the poet byron according to his own statement awoke one fine morning and found himself famous but according to the statement of springer of III id the governor of utah awoke one fine morning and found himself infamous poor ell eli I 1 what a waste of rhetorical morality was in his last peroration the chicago merald herald has an editorial on the gallant marshall sympathetically headed another good man gone wron wrong 11 the opening sentence Is governor Go governor murray of utah whose puerile anti mormon crusade has brought him into greater or less prominence will now probably give the saints sainta a rest and listen to some interesting facts to which mr nir springer will call his attention 11 yes itis probable mr murray will have to act on the defensive in the future at all events his career as a mormon sleuthhound sleuth hound is most Ign ominously and ridiculously terminated how cheap the tho poor idiots who received him hlin so triumphantly a short time ago must feel now what a useless expenditure of energy oratory and flatulence there was at that great reception on the return of the hero to salt lake city and that for him unfortunate message has ma ellin flook a good deal like the man mail wll who has been ducked in the town pond poud and braces up to get out of sight let nim him take heart a zebra uniform covers a multitude of sins and in his case it will be sure to keep him in the I 1 future f from rom making a burlesque of the american republic Ee public tue THE PROBLEM IX IV A NUTSHELL bogus dogus mileage and bogus witness fees might pass well enough as mild kinds of misdemeanors but the fact of claiming large fees for guarding a prisoner who turned out to be a cripple of 7 75 winters gives the case a phase of humorous criminality surpassing in cheek check the traditional government mule mille the theraid therald in one sentence sums up the governor and his following so cie cle clearly r y and concisely that it is worth 11 while ml i to reproduce it verbatim ills attitude in utah is calef carefully tilly chosen as the representative of a principle voiced bf by edmunds and the stern conservator 0 of a moral sentiment which to turn the mormon kingdom into a kind of political kindergarten I 1 where the mormons cormons shall pay the taxes and tile the gentiles hold the offices 11 that Is the utah problem in a nutshell alid and because the people of utah did not kneel down and worship the splendid piece of counterfeit humanity they are to be pronounced disloyal there is something thin providential in the discovery of tills this araud at so opportune a time the millions of the east who have llave been taking a king their information about utah from om the reports of consummate hypocrites will now see how they have been deluded the friends of murray say this thi Is an old cli charge arge crime like ilke wine inel mellows lows with age and tile the most interesting kind of culprit is one with silver beard and some white locks because these latter make a nice accompaniment to stripped garments MACMILLAN AX THE PADRIC ATOR who is the rev D 3 macmillan acMillan Ar of salt lake city A doctor of divinity is he there was once a rev doctor Man uan VIllain a doctor of but it appears there is no relationship between the doctors well a rev dr macmillan alac liae II IIan llan has chelca at the office of the tile chicago tribune and relieved himself or rather rattier the small boy b who packed ilie lile the bundle from the ho hoteloff telof a voluminous manuscript on orl the mormon question about a column of matter was fished out of the package which appeared in ill the shape of an interview and which brands the rev gentleman as the finest linest type of a nur burro Bur rott roly to be found I 1 from rom montana to the rio grande after describing the many narrow escapes he had of of becoming a martyr and dramatically relauia relating a proposed plan of hanging nim by the heels while a lady would cut his throat and all because beca a mormon elder represented him as a second aaron burr after relating many awful and dime novel episodes of this kind lie he relates the following experience which for disinterested beats mark twain when he stood under an umbrella in a heavy shower to see a drowning man rescue dand then claimed a medal from thell theli society for getting libs ns elta eita v weel watt et aw and aud also tor toc lor loc co caution ution ing the rescued man to be more careful in f future here is 15 what he says A prospective ninde bride A young swede Swed living ellving in iowa sent sent over to sweden a few years ago for his prospective bride A company of mormon emi emigrants rants were coming over at the tile same time tue and the leader of the company allowed allowed tile the girl to accompany them giving her the advantage of reduced rates bat bit they carried the poor girl through iowa and into utah without her knowledge the young man followed and af after aften ter ten a iong louz seared search discovered ills his aff lanced affianced in salt lake ile he planned for her escape cheape and came to me with a request that I 1 perform the marriage maniago cerenio ceremony ny ile he left ili iii my house to steal his intended bride from f rom the mormon house where she was con lined promis promising ing to return in an hour I 1 set up for them nearly all hi hight night lit but they did not come I 1 instituted a search for the unfortunate couple without finding any traces of theland the mand I 1 am firmly convinced that both were put out of the tile way by y the mormons cormons Mor mons had I 1 time I 1 might recall many instances of mys mysterious erious deaths and shocking shochin crimes that t lat have aeme to my knowledge c during my longstar long iong stav anlon anion among the mormons comons Mor mons but mr I 1 relate these instances to show how utterly they disregard the laws of the country and how ce certain ertain they are of their power to prevent the government from ever interfering with their iniquitous mode of living what a cock and bull story to be sure surer sat eat up for them nearly all night docton but they ux did j id not come the doctor t or says it w was as too bad to keep a man up all night but then he had a fire and a bottle end a pipe we suppose why marks sacrifice was greater than this the doctor like a man ought to don his small clothes and accompany that phantom swede in the midnight raid that would be more manly and more in harmony with good citizenship than to sit near the stove for this great act the doctor must be rewarded and his name is now before the committee on membership of the limekiln lime kiln club of detroit and we hope he will be admitted as an honorary m member ember Bro brother ther gardiner wall be delighted with the rev dr mcmillan and the tile doctor will have tile the floor on all occasions when something astounding heartrending and bloodcurdling blood baloga curdling is to be related when cheti the doctor was leaving the tribune office a humorous editor dropped a printed slip into info his hia i t i M satchel it read oh would some power gle gie us to secour see ourselves 7 as others see us tim THE NEWMAN I 1 hay fhy nay may we not offend against propriety or our high pretensions of of piety we pray that there shall be no strife and contention this Is 18 part of the prayer of a christian clergyman at the opening of a meeting of his congregation it ft is well worded and logically loI iol callY caily and religiously constructed and ald wu we doubt not was uttered with an unctuousness of intonation that he thought otili oti ought 11 t to command the attention of the 1110 ivio most it high but it did not it fell flatter than one of kate fields jokes about mormonism before a chicago audience as the seguel sequel sho both strife and contention crept into that meeting and epithets were bandied that were more fit nt for the rum shops than the convent lele leie the senior deacon C on reviled the pastor the pastor retorted and pandemonium reigned the pastor astor on this occasion as well as the deliverer deliverer of the opening prayer was the llev rev mr newman of worldwide world wide fame mr newman is like the man in an who wanted to keep on terms with both god aad the davil for he is aletho a methodist preacher in a congregationalist household one of the sheep in his nock flock wanted to know under which banner the pastor would attempt to enter heaven the pastor who would probably have to sacrifice ten thousand a year if he told the truth wisely ref refused used to state ANOTHER REVEREND prevarication dr newman is not the only hypocrite who tries to use the sace face off janus dr curry of this city who at a ml ministers meeting characterized the old bible as a tissue of old wives tales and then bluntly denied saying so is another of the godly this preacher beats anything yet in the divinity line he even said that there were lots of of things which ministers need not believe but ought to preach this statement he also denied but there was in ii that meeting a bi brother rother who was a professional shorthand short whort hand writer and who took verbatim notes of D cuny u when the doctor was found out did he commit suicide not a bit of it ile he prayed for his traducers traduce rs rolice nolice REPORT ther the chicago annual police report just out makes an interesting chapter thirty seven t thousand arrests last year ear eau of t these ese 11 were americans there here were lemale female arrests 2000 of whom were re for streetwalking street walking and 1 1614 for being inmates of houses of lil ill lii fame here is a phase of life which might well eua ena engage wae wac ga c the attention of the statesman and and divine avine F bour lour our thousand female prostitute arrests in one year is a goodly showing for open and barefaced wickedness from this it can easily be inferred what lies in the background JUNIUS |
