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Show low The Salt Lake Tribune, Sunday, Xo ember 2, 19G9 Wife's Guide to Pro Football If You Cant Beat Em Gals, Try Joinin Em you an opportunity to satisfy painlessly one of a wifes By Elaine Tarkenton and Michael B. Rich Pro most boring tasks: Ironing. Many women love to cook, and not a few derive some pleasure from keeping their homes free of dust. The washing machine has made tolerable the tedium of doing the laundry but I have yet to meet a woman who felt anything other than hostility towards ironing (ugh). Ironing to the accompaniment of pro football can help you accomplish this burdensome, chore almost before you realize it But have care. I remember one Sunday afternoon when I was crouched over my ironing boaid watching the Giants play an exhibi- - isnt available for rerun watching during the football summer, and the game's heroes (and villains) can change faster than jou can say recovered fumble or touchdown. The fascination of pro football is its unpredicthe awesome or tability awful promise to be realized as each play unfolds-.l- t is not .a game that can be summa-rize- d by a box score. It must observed as it be watched happens, whether on television or from a seat in the stands. Even if you do occasionally (or always) go to a stadium to snatch your team play at home, you wall certainly be of the television audience for their games on the road. So here is some advice culled from friends as well as frofri personal experience uhkli may be helpful to armchair fans. , Every wife Is familiar with part afiy mans peculiar chronology of eating. Let a television programIts snes watching climax or the approach mystery she Is reading be poised to reveal who the real criminal Is, and, with clock-t- v ork dependability, hubby wall "declare he is starving. Dutiful wife that she Is, the 'denouement on TV passes unseen and Identification of the criminal is postponed until later. With the kickoff scheduled at 1 or 1:30 p.m., and a e show betelevised half an hour or hour a ginning earlier, your first act of profootball fandom is to escape from incarceration in the kitchen. , Prepare Focd Early One solution Is to make sandwiches before the game and keep them ready to respond to plaintive cries of hunger. Another is to pack a tiay with an assortment of cold cuts and breads and set Up a smorgasbord table complete with ice, glasses. in the Cokes, or whatever TV room. This technique has the twin viitues o! providing your starving companion with victuals and of tacitly making clear that he can help himself. Even so, if you make yourself a sandwich you c?n expect to hear the familiar, As long as youre up . . . There are some special special advantages to watching to pro foot- and listening ball on television. The zoom , lens of the camera gives the viewer cn intimacy with the QB that is impossible to duplicate by any other means even by attending a game in ; person. ; Limits of TV ; Conversely, the limitation of televised pro ball is that you feel, do mot get the panoramic offening of an entire sive formation confronting an n defensive unit. This small deficiency is of concern only to a minority of postgraduate fans. It takes great discipline certainly more than I have to take your eyes off the QB and survey the entire football scene. In any case, televisions isolated camera and video-tap- e replay give you a unique opportunity to pre-gam- implored Fran and the Giants onward. A series of sideline passes carried us smartly down the field until we penetrated inside the Packer 20. There, die Green Bay defense stiffened and three downs were consumed without appreciable success. It was fourth down now. The crowd in the stands was momentarily still, but with exultant cheers held ready in their throats for the moment when the great Packer defense would hold the Giants and Green Bay take over the balL You could feel the tension, the conflicting thrust of immovable force and immovable object. PRINTED OUTING FLANNEL Fun Value fro 43c to 6?e Yd. 36- - Wide Guar. WasabU SIGNATURE PRINTS Flower gardens bloom in winter on cotton.. backgrounds. n , dark-ton- e Values from 79c to 89e Yd. V7de Guar. Washable 6ee w,flat the othr players were doing while you were watching the balL A satisfying emotional feainstant ture of watching replay is that you can savor again your teams heroics the long touchdown pass, the long run from scrimmage, the inspirational kickoff return for a touchdown. Alas, the tape also recapitulates mothe trage-d;e- s ments of despair of interceptions and fumbles, of uncovered receivers and missed tackles. Half time the Interval between the end of the second and beginning of the third is a quarters break of convenience. You can check on where the kids are and what mischief theyve committed, load up the dishwasher, replenish the snack tray, and empty the ashtrays. Or Letter still, you can wa eft e show. Its colorthe ful pageantry is unique to football Another virtue of televised pro football is that it gives half-tim- ticn game against the Green (Exhibition Bay Packers. game or not, every team wants to win and thats especially true against the Packers, who dominated pro football for many years. Moreover, the Packers had administered a senes of drub-bito the Giants the last few times they had met.) There were only a couple of minutes left in the game and although we trailed, tne game was still close and a touchdown would give us victory. With the seconds ticking away, the Giants moved down the field. The crowd in Lam-bea- u Field roared encouragement to the Packers, while I ns them helps teen-ager- hang togetner. After all, a to willingness listen to what the young folks say never should be somethings got to give, and its usually peace that takes the beating. The ideal arrangement for the average family of two parents and two or more s would be to have two houses connected by a walk-i- n refrigerator. However, since most fanulies built or bought before the need for separate but equal facilities was faced, its now a little late for such architecturally mi scon-strue- d as a carte blanche McGrath permit to let Mrs. loose unlimited decibels in which to say it. The modem home is simply too small to allow unlimited head to the steam of sound that each side requires to inspire its dreams. When the Beatles collide with Beethoven, on competing stereo sets, g to pain of peaceful coex- perfect ease the sound-proofin- istence. Other Buzzes However, it is not only the equipment that is causing complications in the family scene. The electric mixer in the kitchen fuzzes up the television screen, and causes Dad to squawk that he just missed not only the best stereo-soun- 54"60"WIDE and threw. Getting Bad The alternating current of the refrigerator, the freezer, and the air conditioner play havoc with the lighting system until the whole house takes on the scheme of a light show. The dishwasher, dryer, and washing browse among Huge selections cf coles, weaves and colors, all in wools and wool blends. Touchdown! It was a moment of sweet success for my husband's team and I enjoyed it too, if success The vicariously. didn't smell sweet, though, more like something burning. sculptured rayon velvet high pile rayon velvet printed cotton velveteen twill back velveteens glitter "rosea" brocades PLAIDS SOUDS It was Frans favorite sport 36" to NOVELTIES shirt. Of course, one way to watch nd stay free pro football from the hazards of honing is to go to the game. name it we have it) Values to $3.93 each dth to Yd. $177 Frrm A WISE'S GUIDE TO ERO FOOTBALL bv Elam Tarfc nton Michael B. Rich. Coorrfght (c) iw by Elatne Tarkenton and Michael B. Rich. 45-wi- $049 $j49 SL, (Too Monday: The Stadium Faa add pzazz yd. EACH QUILTED machine drown out conversation in every room in the NYLON PRINTS house. Pretty florals on pastels for swingy Christmas robes. Its getting so members of the same family have to make an appointment to play or record or run the risk of annoying everyone else. No one can even sew a fine seam without slashing the eardrums of his dearest next of kin. Before it becomes necessary for the kids to drop out of the family, or the family to tune out the kids, some families are working out a sound schedule for certain areas, for certain sound. i tX great selection of colors and weaves in wools and beautiful wool blends group includes bonded and unbonded flannel "soft touch," textured crepe,-acrylipile fabrics, bonded jerseys, bonded plaids. Littlest Angels, (and big Angels) will love their s!ky softness 54-- to 60" widths $098 $098 aUKB tkZj yd. to yd. d Luxurious Dacron Knit Coordinates 11-m- play of the afternoon, but also the instant replay that would have given him a second chance at it. In the morning his electric razor raises the static level of the kitchen radio until no one can tell the time or the weather any more. colorful glamour fabrics to to holiday festive YARD LONG Inner Space Is the Key to Togetherness By Mary McGrath For parents raising kids who are raising Cain, a house divided may be the only thing that PARTY FABRICS mniGTHS it Eighth in a aeries No-Iro- 36-3- 8- Sense of Finality I was transfixed, my mind filled with the absolute this-is-sense of finality that is the emotional peak of every pro football game. Fran took the snap, rolled left, spotted Joe Morrison in the end zone, designs, great colors, on cuddly soft cotton sleepwear Open Sunday ... Noon till 5 p.m. FuiTB&iaus FAKES 45" wide Save $4 LOOK OUT FOR OUR ANIMALS THEY'RE ALL OVER THE PLLACEl Regular 23 Womens $ Running wild on high pile Plush Coat ,11-ma- lorvitiRnrA) For the look of real fur. Durable Orion Acrylic pile keeps you cuddly warm on the coldest winter days. 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