Show a of Events Rate Pewter Medals At Olympics Extra-Curricul- 11 The Salt Lake Tribune ar By Jim Murray Los Angeles Times Writer PARIS — We only won one gold medal at Grenoble — or as Shirley Povich put it the National Anthem had a shorter run on Broadway than a clean play and a permanent lacquered photo showing the luge run first as a fondue and later with 09 salmon leaping up it I10 The journalists and alhletes get a special medal for drink ing an official 60000 cokes a day with the great wines of France all around Ione-mil- 1 mid Pt4h PENNA but take heart At my instigation a colleague John Hanlon and I have decided to take up the slack and award a whole flock of medals — to Olympians who distinguished themselves at the games They won't be gold they'll be pewter They won't have the Latin Olympic insignia "altius citiue fortius" for "higher stronger faster!" but rather the Latin words for "lower weaker and slower" and instead of a triumphant runner they'll show a guy sneezing with a hot water bottle on his head a frayed robe thermometer in Es mouth and skinny hairy legs sticking in a tub of hot water Here they are: 1 The first pewter goes to the journalist who can swear on the head of his mother he saw something of France besides (A) the inside of his barracks room (B) the inside of a "lift" (a "lift" is an elev a t or that takes in floors one hour at a time) (C) the inside of a lorry on the way to the mountains (D) the outside of a fog when he got there Combined points are awarded to anyone who saw as much of Grenoble as from the door of a taxi to the head table at Rostang's restaurant Seeing Sun Rates 2 Pewter No 2 goes to any' one who saw the sun before noon or longer than 1 o'clock in the afternoon 3 A pewter goes to anyone who can show proof he was able to get a steak e or a chicken he' could swear did not die of leukemia Since this is considered an unfair event — the only way to get a steak in France is to be sure the cow was out in the sun before he was butchered — we kill have a second prize a plastic medal for anyone who can bring an showing he does not have trichinosis or a polarof his oid showing the steak to be anything but purple 4 A special pewter with oak leaf er s goes to the male doctor who stopped the Russian in her girl from undressing e test and explained' before she got to the half-slitest that it was a litmus-pape- r not an eye test This award was hotly disputed by a jury which argued that he should not get a rneltial and produced a photo of the athlete to prove it They felt that since she had a moustache his performance should be penalized for form and as in free skating his feat was not difficult enough for a high enough ordinal for a medal I- TIRE The French gendarmerie y center clust male-femal- I Avery Brundage gets a pevt ter for almost detonating the winter games Rnd then touching a torch and throwing gasoline on the already blazing Summer Olympics by (A) decreeing the skiers could not show the naked trademarks of their skis helmets or goggles— and in fact should not give their right name and (13) by admit- Wide deep Modified ting South Africa Avery is thus riot only victorious in one event but in the combined as well Avery n:so takes a commeuding lead in the world cup points for boycotting the Olympics as he has now placed Harry Edward on the downhill timer In this event 6 Any journalist who cajoled stole or was otherwise able to get more than one towel in his stay in the press centee gets a pewter and both choruses of his national anthem Disqualified are those who (A) sneaked down to the Super Marche with a dictionary and managed to purchase a dish towel big enough to dry one self ilf you put it on a radiator alter each 4 square inohes or (B) those who used the The form in this event calls for the contestant to stand over the radiator and slap himself vigorously after the bath The same judges who examine the tracing in the skating compulsory figures 'examine the contestants in this event for severe chapping Those who turn blue automatically qualify for the final runoff 7 A special award goes to the French farmer who sensibly relieved a bladder problem in the center of town in Villard de I sns but nevertheless stood at attention ms the 'French flag went by on a loaded bus The fact that he smoked his pipe and waved at the same time makes this a combined event I) 775-1- 4 776-1- 5 Bowling Hints 1 Send Your bowlinoproblem questions to Joe Wi Imam care of the Salt Lake Tribune Enclose a stamped addressed envelope with ZIP code All DIM StiOnll will be personally answered and the writers of the best questions will receive free a Joe WI irnqn Timer The "click" Timer's controls arinswine speed and finger lift Its you "hear" your Own delivery 3 :: :: I 1 0: ‘ ':'!: 9 - (8 815-1- 5 (710-15- 1 's '' t - v! ' k -- 1A' Sunnyside Ave Instruction in the ' - ‘:0 :''i- : A bed-she- College Scores TUESDAY'S RESULTS Ohio Stele 117 Northwestern 67 Illinois 73 Michigan 64 Purdue 66 Iowa 73 Michigan Stale 7S Indiana TO Kansas 74 Missouri 6S Rhode Island 113 b rown S3 Connectlart 14 New Harnoshine 41 St John's WY SS MissachusettS SI Duke la batmen 70 South Carolina 66 Furman Se "tennis's 11 Georgia Tech 61 New Orleans Loyale 13 Salltsaos 77 Southern Methodist 70 Savior 63 Rice 73 Texas Christian se Texts A arNti M 71 Arkansat 111 Texas ?t Texas Tech se you Win Soccer Test FUN batter DICK BENNION'S Tuesday night In a fourth round playoff of the English Soccer Cup tournament r -r r1r)-r- ::: ItiH '4 t:: --"- ) t A I i - g ' w t --04 ' '4"' - trS4 11014 Art :I il1141Q eft 4 "' ' ' i- CC SALE SHOCKS 0 MUFFLER CREDIT TIRES 0 N ' 4:4-- - 1 4 4: ":'0':' ! 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IS :: 4 --1 S '' - 4 ''''''' Lighted 4“ V:: 0 ''' ' i( '4 Softly - ' k Dial 4 :'i ::! ‘ bix 41 Ce the- trIP alarm Softly lighted dist mares fall pught view Other features incluthl 4a99 b -- toe-o- 1 gm ADJUSTMENT - A --I- — l' I'' t'd v - j Work is done hy skilled heel hearingi ront should he repacked evei y 1 0000 miles Most American Cars Parts in Murray: 4675 So State Phone 2622651 BRAKE - : n Additional $495 Each ° NottC: Correct citqer camber toe-iand customer at this iow Vial 4 BEARINGS s'L L 17 Limit one nea Jut iterprod crystal sweep iseclind han4 and mem IPA! tit REPACK FRONT WHEEL T I I ALLTHIS qi FRONT END ALIGNMENT il I' Includes WORK 0 ' 14 DS 0 ' iirlib :s' of EXPERT CAR SERVICE dr ' 4:)1'- I :: 41 ' is' i- ----- --Ir "- '' - fa - 1 s- ' w oriArocktgiebtihativencendscimenDYwhilatbe mechanics extra if needed m SINNION FIREST O NE STORE FIRESTONE STORES BAILEY'S DOWNTOWN LOCATION SALT LAKE CITY NEW LOCATION IN MURRAY Phone 3641965 3rd So at 2nd West 204 East 3rd South Phone Hours: 7 am to 7 pm Friday Till 9 pm 4675 South State Phone ' ''‘'' 0 PROlvt0 a a a 6 pm pm ai la a tints 461 West Phone 3rd South 1 mfki FIRESTONE STORE FAKIER TIRE SERVICE 488-805- 3 9 Buy Firestone Tires HERZOG BROS FIRESTONEPhone East 2100 South 486-846- 1 I Buy Fireiton PH a a va LOGAN STORE PROVO MITCHELL'S LANDSCAPING & NURSERY Friday III! BUT FIRESTONE TIRES OSDEll 384 West Center Phone 3732803 4041'''''' 0 EMS: 8:30 to 1 a 8 SUGAR HOUSE tonnora : 262-265- Salt Lake City Mil 414 v " 2184 LAST 33rd SOUTH " AI '' : N: FIRESTONE $65000 PACK'S ALIGNMENT S "' 206 1 10 ' 04154rIL Nc'"" likko ' - gDadeati 9 AND UP All - f- 363-674- 1 g' CAVE ACCEPTED It- y ' :4A' !' frEll4 'A 364-36166 L Nebo Diamond lioniquarters in Elub ENOINC WINTER CARNIVAL BALANCE TIRE TRUING BRAKE SERVICE e? 11142 BOYD PARK REG $97200 TIRE 1116 i -- - -:- :: ' ' 1?' z''!lii SNOWMOBILES 2$2 ': G 'Vkl $181 1"111Fritftiblitk1441rilt"- - t- WEEKEND RACES 1st PLACE CROSS COUNTRY I 0 ORg S to And svo hays tho morthondito LONDON (AP) — Bristol CitY defeated Middlesbrough ri or o - ) DOM alarm indicator S Y high 'Available in your choice or 'White or Antique Gold Firestone Stores: 204 East 3rd South Ph 3636741 tool buy it 1' 4( - s"ii:t: tires oft your car trade-i- n MAGIC TOUCH ALARM RIGHT hotter dom onywboro at FAMILY IS A'Alv't -- to paycredit established hi minutes! DRIVE 'Mb PRICE r n I three-wee- hoe boon for 103 years cro "Be An Early Bird" Get Your Vehicle Inspection At Firestone noted Course Instructors are Jack Hawley Lee Transue and Bill Carver all :riembers of Coast Guard Auxiliary Flotilla 72 The course is free and all persons interested in boating safety are invitad to attend Mr Anderson added THE 0 là ‘00 1401 ME Till) 931 2175 1081 962 2225 1112 1111011EY Take months program ittludes all phases of safe boat handling including proper safety precautions fueling types of approved life preservers ventilation navigation and equipment the commander 4'' WT 2nd Tiro 2250 1125 2550 1275 2500 12450 2825 1412 ) go' MS 1st Tire 2nd Tito An prices PLUS taxes and Plans for the annual boat safety course sponsored by the US Coast Guard Auxiliary were announced by Bart Anderson commander Flotilla 72 Dates set for the public education rouse in the Salt Lake City area are March 5 12 and 19 Mr Anderson said Classes ate scheduled at the Utah National Guard Armory 1543 :: 0044) 4 t:VI:II:Milt Safety Class '' :4' ' (750-14- ) (670-15- ) 825-1- Boaters Wait ' Tab len Whitewalls ackvaalls 1875 1925 (cf 1 b9 - i '1650 825 '1950 ' 975 3 73514 g two-wee- k ' 650-1- og'' : ?er) tread for long mileage design for better handling 4Mirlim 4 '' e D Tobless V Wt--'-' §14 4'''': $ ou065'80G- 1st Tim four-stepp- :':' -- Atol 1A017 r11"'MMEmenones age bowler cannot build up in enough body momentum three steps to give him sufficient speed Some bowlers cannot do it In four steps either So speed on the final three He has less chance of poor footwork they should use five with a controlled short first When you must use your step to develop a good portion of your ball's speed the strain can affect your accuracy And it is a good bet that it will tire the arm before the series is :t 6 fr k Modem sculptured sidewall design p iPI ' s d wrap-aroun- Cheek today's Illustration and see how the three-stebowler must take a longer first step to For years I have preached help build speed while the can take a short against the three-steapproach for bowlers I know that Lee irst step and still get normal : rd ' precision-blade- d By Joe Wilman 3:- - — -J :-- r' 2 4 SIZE :' IL &V 4-PL- Using 3Step Approach 9 42 1 ::-:- 4 47r-zo- FULL Y NYLON CORD BODY Almost Everyone Will Tire ' '' 04 tr0 4 pr ce targ rap a JO) ? re e IP iltinD 40 OLI" 0 The Better Bowling USE FOUR STEPS '' ir k' f0 ) w gle VP 00 r) 0 free-loadin- 5 4 - LI through Brundage Wins N "44 I - 04 PLAY-OF- arm-swin- c::::7 tYirdj7cfrpf - Jouglard a fine little bowler used three steps And I know that some big men have been successful with Just three steps But I also know that the aver- A ' EiMITED TIME Don't miss out! OMMY p - r OFFER! 1940 Famous Bowler B7 1963 g retreads or factory seconds Aa e 97N tiresnot 6705 strong from all parts of France get a special award for not arresting a single journalist 11111111111P"‘ !Athlete or official not even the combined bobsled teams at Alpe q d'Huez who protested the firing IP° of "bunny" for falling in love with an Italian sleigher Come FE13211 to think of it the bobsled teams get a medal too for registering !their protest by carrying a Renault car in the lobby of the press center and leaving it DEMARET !there in protest France gets the WON THE WESTEIN OPEN !Maurice Chevalier medal be-GOLP WHEN HE FEAT !cause the girl was reinstated F Tow PENNA IN A 12 The people of Grenoble AT HOUSTON 71 TO 74 a medal because with the get THAT YEAR JIM GAINW 1419 onslaught of 1500 FIRST OF THREE MASTERS sportswriters they now know what Parisians felt like when they saw the Germans march8 Karl Schranz gets either ing under the Arc de Triomphe the Baron Munchausen award It is to the villagers' credit they or the Captain Dreyfus award did not resort to blowing up of full journalists depending on whether you think lorries he missed a gate or mimed his !reforming the Mapl or mining whether you think he the approaches to the slopes calling should get another run at the Iand the discount ban They also hill or a job writing communi- showtd remarkable restraint in ques for the Ministry of Truth not standing on street corners in Russia and sobbing when they saw us 9 The committee win put the marching in and should now be luge run on part of the Cote !eligible for Marshall Plan funds d'Azur gets a pewter (melted in to rebuild their economy well-don- well-don- o Brand new fine quality Other Winners T1 21 - e 11 February I111817AqTFINISMIJE Tcnd c::D honor of the occasion) This Day in Sports sit Wednesday BANMAMERICARDI I: STORE HOLLADAY Phone Buy Firestone Tires CAMS SMiTH 394-669- 1 2303 Wash Elvd FR Iv sou L 752-720- jPhone 2 Main I MOM Phone 4675 Holladay Blvd 278-042- 1 V A A VO PI 41jon4IttrolVvroftlooktlArporhstrookorkttpottrArverlow:21tort ity"" fvolitoiro4gmal"---7- - OAWNMPS304Aimmgannaar — 17 At- - 104111'0"t 4 A?t! fhAR'1W41mlit9qt - MmatiONE6114 — 0001k1StMOOLOWletAt4140WPPLIMIMN10415444411t40 OWAPPgAteAllalg "RFC iL |