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Show DESERET NEWS, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 12, 1974 A 1? What every parent should know f arma Wadlev uhji ut News, b all writ K Piece Lansduted into eight lan guages His newest book. How to Father, covers child development from birth to age 21 and is. accord me to the author, the only one of its kmd that is geared to fathers The role of the father has been on a decline tn America in the last few years. In the media hes either portrayed as a stumbling jerk (such as Dagwood Bwmstead or the rough, tough, cool John Wayne type The father is cast just as a breadwinner who only comes into the picture when the child is big enough to plav football, says Dr fjft.ii arc, according to Dr Dodson, few worse th g than parents can do in !,r(ak the Low of the Sr ggy Potato ciald-rearin- The average father -P Hit child psychology Ho H 'ellmg he newer How spends 37 seconds per day with a :n:thor ot to Parent and to Father," was in Not Lake City recently and shared ore of his insight into problems of unts one-year-ol- can't build a good and children fundamental cf part hi& lan WIWKWilVf MW 'osophj is the potato dug-- law Mh briefly stated, sas A child .in prefer a fresh potato chip to a one. but if only soggy ones are -- callable thats better than n , He d. 99 1 that amount of time' IPS tfy, Thats not the way it should be A father needs to become m voiced with his baby He needs to feed it a bottle, bathe it, and change diapers K eant fee! rfose unless aUiiP? .V M ueiwiwivti list iiku enuu auiui IUI a terns, eve" though child prefers )siiive attention to negative attention, to him negative attention is U tier than no attention at all Many imes when children are p.aymg nicely. behaving them thi parents do nothing No hugs h kisses no nue words no atten h-- Dodson attention is a nward for obnoxious behavior, so wni continue it. voluntary evening e, asses through the adult education for new parents Thats when many parents really wane up to the need The baby is there 24 hours a day and wont go away. There are three things, he savs that people need to be good parents Trie first is love. The ability tv dependent give love is. of com-supon how you were raised and how you received love But love alone is not enough Parents also need information on child psychology and development They need to know what can be expected of the child at each stage of his development Dr. Dodson tells of a father-and-so- n scene be witnessed in an airport The father was roughly shaking his and angrily squirming asking. Cant you be still "I wanted to say. No, he can C Hes a normal active and he can t tie still for long period' e, rtatement. say' Dr Dodson, tl.at should be engraved on the forehead of every parent is if Die does something you want him 'o do m the future, reward him c Hil 1 But he says, A survey showed that the aver age father spends 37 swends per day child. He cant wills a build a good relationship in that mounl of time " Another area Dr Dodson feels parents have been weighed in the balance and found wanting is m teaching morality The widespread cheating, the padding of roles by the Boy Scouts, the big business of setiing term papers on college campuses. Watergate they all add up to a real crisis m morality Weve unconsciously assumed that if we raise a child to be happy he will be moral and and ethical, too But its not necessarily so And so there are a coupc of basic ethical fundamentals Dr. Dodson feels parents should instill in their children First, teach them that anything which harms another person or themselves is wrong Second theres a basic pnn ciple of love Teach children that if ever they are not sure what to do, tney should ask themselves what would be the loving caring thing ld But a soon as the children act up they do get parental attention -negative though it is tr.e i hild hes done that Dr. Fitzhugh liuH I'hal negative - Dodson WWW ov t ntm I its something many pirents don't realize. Which is why e h.ld psychologist strongly advo- cates compulsory parent education in LV high schools We have compulsory driver due at ion but not parent education i we-- s that means wc think it's more nportant to learn how to drive how to f'pniiMbh than to learn ' .I ikh- - a child responsibly lr Don son a 'so ret mnmends four-year-o- four-year-o- ld of time' The third thing parent' nc-'on teaching methods Parents are the most important teachers n a childs We And, says the doctor, what other people call discipline, he calls teach mg. Its simply teaching the child to avoid undesirable behavior I liough Dr. Dodson is one of the few' child psychologists today wno believes it is okay w spank a child not harsh beating or a (spank humiliating slap in the face) he says it is net an efficient way to discipline Theres a man m California who has taught wild bears to play basketball. He didnt yell at them, lecture, moralize, spank or do things most parents do He did it Uifough a " system of positive reinforcement Dr Dodson, himself the father of three children, draw's from his own parental experience and from 20 years of pofes'innai work as a psychologist and educator Hk book. How to Parent " has Cheese cake American style' That's Mrs Clyde j. Bench's favorite. And to top it off, she likes to pile on lots of delicious fruit. Cheese cake USA By Winnifred Jardine Deseret News food editor Clyde J Nutree, loves cheese cake and has tried many recipes During her recent three-yea- r stay in Nuremberg, Germany, (while her physician husband served a tour of duty with the U S Army), she Carol (Mrs Bench, German enjoyed hasfkuchen, which is a tradi firrt marriage wav a disav-te- r Mark never came Abigail Van Buren A8BY. ! am ccn lantly amazed at some of the problems vou are asked to 'live Many lOidd be solved if the person had one ounce of ommon sense and a halt an ounce of guts. o offend Being afraid who habitually Friends ,mpoe on you is sheer imhe- ihtv Those friends" have ultra thick skins The only wav to handle By the dam is to inquire ay , hav e you ever considered minding your own busi By DEAR -- -- ABBY Thank vou for reading this LONG BEACH READER DEAR READER. And thank you for writing it DEAR ABBY 1 am married to a very good man Mv straight home Hed stop somewhere for a dnnk and come home anywhere from one to five ho-- rs tate I couldn't take it, so affet three years, I divorced him My present husband, Neil, has now started to come home anywhere from 20 mi nute to an hour late .Now hes stopping for a dnnk Neil isnt much of a drinker now, but I have nightmares about his getting as bad as Mark ness YWCA sets 1 930s bazaar ou Believe me, it works On i .n t offend such people. he contrary, theyll respect ou lor not being a pushover The '1920 YWCA will bold a Inflation Fignter so many people think that it will v nave to be nice at all Baaar. Wednesday from feature everything of nisi' It s especially true hobo 'tew family dinner to ' merit an' a booth filled with just "eople of other lands in .unk t lading my native little The day iotig bazaar will Viheiland'i do not worry at II a m Lunch will be so open being popular -- erved until 1 pm Silent m n h a taking the right homemade randy movies turn, and bemg respected and foods, and handmade r doing so will be available !' vou U'e rm letter please 1 rails numerous The displays and don t put my name in the activities will include do-it-pa,x r ini vourself children s ceramics fishing for toys, and a green thumb booth -- tew dinner will 7 SO be served from " 10 p m The hobo Tonight when he came home half an hour late, I put my foot down ITe told me he wasnt a child, and he didnt think I had a right to clock him to the minute, and he wasnt going to put up with it do not nag him Abby. about anything else but this. I want our marriage to last Its not that Im against one drink I take one, too, but this is my sore spot Do you blame me? I occa--lonal- y, SALSALITO DEAR SALS: Yes, and no. Neil shouldn't have even one drink on his way home, because should be become involved in an accident (even it its not his fault), if hes had one drink, he could be in a lot of trouble. Because of your disastrous marriage with Mark, you may be taking it out on NeiL Speak your piece, then button your lip. DEAR ABBY. 1 am getting sick of ail that sex in your column lately. Please clean it up, Abby. or you are going to lose me JC OF PALES- TINE. TEX DEAR J.C. OF PALESTINE: (Are you kidding?! Sorry, but lately every other letter that lands on ssy desk has a sex problem. And since mine is a problem column and these are the problems, I have to call 'em like I see 'em hausfrau strictly American cheese cake with strictly American cream cheese ha' two favorite re- s chilled in the refrigerator; the other is baked in the oven. Carol thinks no cheese cakes made anywhere are any more delicious than these She has served the refrigerated cheese cake with peach slices, but it is equally good with orange sections, fresh pears, pineapple wedges, any bernes in season cipes One ounce of common sense would help! everv But nou , home agjiii, Carol s making She When it comes to solving problems 3241 non with there One REFRIGERATED PEACH CHEESECAKE Vi cups graham cracker crumbs U6 crackers) cup sugar cup butter, melted envelope packages cream cheese 2 eggs 23 cup sugar 2 teaspoons vandla 1 cup dairy sour cream Fresh peaches or other fruit 2 tablespoons sugar Mix graham cracker Mix and press graham crumbs with l4 cup sugar and crumbs and butter cracker the melted butter. Press mixture against bottom and a mixture against bottom and a little way up the sides of little way up sides of spring-forpan spring-forpan Cream cheese, blend ni ih In top of double boiler mix cup sugar, eggs and I teasgelatin and remaining ',2 cup poon vam!a. Pour into crusi mgar thoroughly Best milk and bake at 373 degrees for 20 and egg yolks together and minutes. Remove from oven add to gelatin mixture Cook and let stand 15 minutes over boiling water, stirring In the meantime, combine constantly, until gelatin is 2 tablespoons sugar. 1 teasdissolved, about & minutes. poon vanilla. I cup sour Remove from beat cream. Carefully spread over Beat cream cheese until top of cheesecake soft, beat into gelatin mix Return cake to 425 degree lure, add lemon juice, grated oven Bake 10 minutes Cool rind and vanilla. Lt cool and chill overnight Beat egg whites until stilf Whip cream Fold egg whites and whipped cream into cheese mixture Turn into crumb-line- d pan Refrigerate until set, several hours 2 tablespoon fresh lemon juice Grated rind of 1 lemon ! teaspoon vanilla extract I cup heavy sweet cream 1 z. m CAKE BAKED CHEESE m cups graham cracker unflavored gelatin Vou II ftvt belter Problem you vet 11 oft your cltosl. for a personal reply, write to Abby Deseret Mews, P O Bo Salt Hoke City. Uto MU, (4110 enclose stamped, sett oppressed envelope, sleose s Vs 3 1 cup sugar cup milk eggs, separated poundcreamchee.se 588 CtK53 CSi ipsid C?3 The well Discover Frolamlnf clad wall Reducing Plan! 12-ho- ur is wearing cloth. 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