Show Phillips to Attempt MEXICAN ATHLETICS BUTTERCUP 1 Masquerading Male Sweeps A W S Stake Swim Trans-Atlant- ic — —: affectionately Phillips Cyrus known among his friends as just plain “Cy” and who also is one of America's coming bath tub champions has announced his intention to c swim attempt the from Logan to Paris “Sparky” starr also of Utah failed in the attempt last March when within only 2500 miles of the French coast line Ronald Flamm Phillips’ manager is confident that bis man nourished properly and with the aid of water wings will triumph trans-Atlanti- New Patron Saint George Dewey Clyde was choBen patron saint for the ensuing year by the Engineers at a recent election The score was Clyde 29 St Patrick three Clyde is known to have driven snakes out of bl3 boots This recent activity gave him an edge over obsolete St Pat Merrill: between Buttercup Is Tarrus’ biand new cow She is the only cow on earth 0 who gives 99 per cent pure buttermilk Tarrus is training her to strain her own milk a “What is the difference student body president and a lleno skunk?’’ Hortense: "I don't know “Who was that lady I saw you with last nigh?” “Oh that was my wife!” Hammerly to Teach Class in Chinois “What is the difference between an egg and a tennis ball?” 'An egg is oval and a tennis ball is round” BUDGE RUSH CAESAR WINNING REALTY who suc- Marcelling 50c Modern Barber And Beauty Parlors Phone 13 1240 Prof Fred Hammerly ceeds the late Prof Arnold as professor of languages at the U A C “Wh docs a chicken is to conduct a class in Chinese he-- road?” "I II bite'”' ginning net week Rumors are to the of hours fifteen the effect that IfMu-- e the Soph Oriental lingo will be reijuisit to Kneli in Hie loses?" English majors —— POM) WANTS HELP West Center Street Operators — HAWKINS PHILLIS SCHAUB ONDULYN ECKERSELL GEORGIAN viiiillmg King': "The Muse: ''llow'il the lient rush It see las Hie A W S were holdthe or an informal "Beauwho ing some sort ty or Bruins?” contest when an un- Budge yon guess'" Inis just been received Hint long College furnace chimney susieeled of lierfidy has liegun to braced fall Alum Pond Word - W F Jensen Manufacturers Superior Candies and Ice Cream — Whoa-Bac- k CITY DRUG COMPANY PRESCRIPTION DRUGGISTS EVERYTHING IN DRUGS TOILET ARTICLES AND SUNDRIES 07 North Mala Phone 5200 i She: "Four" male--Th- to Edit Catalog Hogan-Win- n Wholesale and Retail known Cocd gained permission to' Masked Marvel" The enter as contest was no contest from then on Tile Mur) e had IT! Brains inc immediately dropped 30 points beauty held the field file eVper’t judge Hurry Reynolds gave the decision to the unknown on a knockout But when the Dark Horse Beauty unmasked— it proved to he Rush Seizotn Budge a well known campus loiterer who had swiped the idea from rantagen Of course the A W S put up a howl for it looked as If the last of ey their “Mite" was to go to a hid sunk their all in the Pewter Stein first prize which Budge Claimed Tile refusal of the A W S to surrender the prize prompted the youth to enter suit -- the to prevent its the shaky smoke-stac- k complete collapse has sent out an upleul for uid Pond Insists that uu less help be sent within two hours he will release his hold and let the great Dr structure crush to the ground ijuxer famous statiction is making calculations us to how long llie little Spaniard will hold up Sumenterest is Tie mg manifested in the civil suit pending n the city court between the A W S and Rush cros 1 Members of the Buzzer Staff are now organized for the purpose of publishing the Catalogue Under the "Where was Moses when the lights capable direction of editor Hogan material is being rapidly worked in- wont out?" "n the dark" to shape Resides the make up for "All Hell! you mnstu heard it the book the editor intends to do the decorative art work for the china ware and ladies Mike: "Begorra bejabers begot) departments All of the engraving work has wnrrii w urra Pul: Wurra Wnrrii liejaliers been held up according to Ernie Lee be ! because Miss Berta Jenson artist's gob model has been ill for some time her contract to pose for the lingerie In order to cuts is behind time facilitate the work Miss Mae Cowley has in 3Pite of her incompetence been engaged as model to assist ''Arc you crazy ?" Miss Jenson "Yes" President Jones of the -lb" Co i3 singing the iiraises of Shelly Winn advertising manager and part-timposeur for the men's has a future styles Truly before him if he lives long enough Semi-Annu- ready-to-we- ! I e LOGAN CANYON RIVER WILL FLOOD STADIUM FOR FUTURE REGATTAS (Continued from Page One) COOLEY HONORED It is due to my investigation of Logan River that Mr “Calvin” Cooley noted nutrition expert in charge of the college cafeteria is to receive the Medal of Honor from the Scottish Association of I’inclipencers While strolling along the stream I and Mr Cardon noticed two tomato plants flowering near the bank A bit farther on there were two or three bean plants Leaning over the vegetables was Mr Cooley bending them so their shadow would full ou the river Just below were Vernald Johns and Alden of Billy white siphoning out vats bean soup Mr-Wi- nn THREE PROFS LAID OUT SCRAP IN This here is a laurel wreath and (Continued from Page one) awarded Tarrus for getting up this here column without using the opposing factions In a statement isr-in-law sued today Pres Peterson says ‘‘If gag once bus matter cannot be settled at once FREE Show at Capitol tonight affairs will be in such a state that school will have to be discontinued” Tell your friends ANTI-CHAPE- Ph‘ I Wish I was a Woofus Singing in the Choir Or better still a Goofus Chewing on a Tire Bars FREE at bookstore today ill L mothe- H |