Show THE OGDEN STANDARD EXAMINER — SUNDAY MORNING DECEMBER 22 1935 my guy v If : i MOT'S si The annua! crop of queer mishaps is with us again an amazing record of the almost unbelievable waysr in which man contrives to get hurt rpy By Harry Barsantee 0 the year's oddest easier the first it is now in the year at this For one thing the list of it CHRONICLING speeding passenger train passed oyer Thomas E Reed 75 He was unhurt but was considerably disturbed because he couldn't find his hat A M 3 interesting task But there is another reasources has grown son not nearly so obvious The accidents that seemed oddest in those first years keep right on repeating themselves with such monotonous regularity that one beunusual gins to doubt his ability to judge the and the commonplace For instance two years ago there was the fellow who tried to shoot a fly off his knee with L L painful results one year ago we man wu swung at a bee with the butt of his rifle only to have the weapon explode and injure him Now it is my sad duty to point to the plight of the Ohio man Fred Clark o£ Newark who made a pass at a fly which lit on the end of But he neghis nose while he was shaving in lected first to put down the razor he held lhe fly new away his iiand of and so did the last quarter-inc- h Fred's smeller Two yean ago there was a bridge player who leaped from the table in exuberance after making a grand slam and dislocated In 1935 C J his shoulder Westcott Boise Idaho made an equally costly grand slam Elated at the play he grasped the bottom of his collapsible chair and leaped to his feeC His finger caught and was almost severed One could go on almost indefiAlmost no accident ever nitely happens that hasn't been dupli- cated at some previous time WZ-- $ ' accidents Nineteen thirty-five'- s coinbizarre included the usual cidences tragic - trifles unusual funny escape?- - and hilariously in few a Let's set down mishaps if 0 Johnston a farmer living north of Paris Mo Here is the story in JimmieYown words of how he cured his toothache: "About 2 o'clock one morning one of I mv back teeth beean stivins? me fits couldn't sleep so I decided to haul a load of hay Old Ben and Old Bess didn t like it much and Old Ben gave me a kick in the pants while I was harnessing up The kick struck a knife and some matches in my pocket and started a ' fire I put the fire out and hauled the hay The toothache was gone" A policeman in Norwalk suburb of Los Angeles observed a man kicking vigorously at a lamp post The kicker Charles Quinn said: "It snapped at me" Quinn's foot was cared tor by a jail - Si u l V J physician p-st- Old 5 Ben gave him a kick in the pants while r he was harnessing up ' jti f' The kick struck a knife and some matches in his pocket and started U- JTa a tire dreamed he was He still on vacation stood up in bed posed for a dive into the lake A bed spring lad COINCIDENCES -- Two-year-o- ld er was killed while riding in his own hearse Mrs Frances Mason TRAGIC TRIFLES 111 was drowned in a shal low fishpond in her back yard Hoy wuong was inese merchant of Los Angeles He fainted while drink- drowned in a bucket im from the container slumped forward and his head was submerged aiitvUtiereaux Chicago died from a skull fracture when he fell as he was putting on his ein St Paul 18-year-- old that order Through the 59 years and George Buellow Cleveland had shared fortune and misfortune with each other as inseparable twins In 1935 they met death together in a traffic accident John Batuna 60 Detroit and John Hritz 59 Gary Indiana were walking toward the latter's home They stopped in the middle of the street and were holding an animated discussion Coming toward them from each direcBatuna glimpsed the tion was a streetcar northbound car and sprang aside into the path of the southbound car at the same time Hritz saw the southbound car and stepped backward Batuna into the path of the northbound car was killed Hritz suffered a fractured skull and internal injuries Diving into a barge canal while on a picnic near Palmyra N Y Francis Norton saw the body of a boy lying at the bottom He recovered the body and upon bringing it to the surface was horribly shocked to find it was his son own Arthur Archambeault Holyoke Mass felt a bump as he backed the family car out of the yard to search the streets for his father Next morning the elder Archambeault was found Police dead with a broken back in the yard believe he had fallen asleep while working under the car Bradley B Smith Washington D C was crushed under a huge stone Lloyd Larson owner-drivcross in a cemetery of a truck chose a spot directly in front of the Women's Christian "Temperance Union headquarters in Yonkers N Y to tip over and spill a large quantity of his cargo of 450 An undertaker ro Chicago gallons of wine Theodore Kn a New London Wis dreamed there were burglars in the house and got out of bed Thinking to shut the intruders out slammed his bedroom He suddenly door awakened snapped on the light and found that he was on one side of the: door and his big toe was on the other Physicians said the door did a neat job of amputation Louis Kanthack shot him impulse and window a 4' jtf Peter Doelger had a long mustache an ax and some wood to in chop His ax handle caught a his mustache and he cut gash California policeman found a man kicking furiously at a lamp post The man explained a "ltsnapped at me" His foot was treated by jail physician In his leg A Mrs Elizabeth Fleming of Cedar Rapids la fractured her hip and wrist "in exactly the same way Edward Barush Chicago turned his head to look at a passing auto In so doing he got a crick in his neck stumbled struck his head on the sidewalk and suffered a brain concussion Lester Bauscher Freeport 111 florist died of blood poisoning caused from a scratch from a rose bush Alfred Thompson a farmer living near Mount Vernon 111 choked to death while attempting to swallow a piece of cake Anton Kummer Darlington Wis broke his leg in an auto accident and the impact sent a splinter of bone into his heart killing him Jean months old Chicago Hintz four and one-ha-lf baby struck herself over the right eye with her bottle and died of a fractured skull A Chicago mother and her two sons were asphyxiated because a bird had built its nest in a flue designed to carry away the vitiated air from a gas heater A sparrow's carelessness with a burning cigaret stub caused a hospital fire in Newton Kan Raymond Mackiejewski Buffalo New York was strangled to death when his dog's leash wound around his neck while they were at play In a similar accident Henry Norton Chicago had his leg broken Chester Lynn a farmer living near Norman Oklahoma rocked out of a window in his rocking chair and was killed Mrs Mary Wisniew-sBroowlyn leaned too far out of a window while hanging out the wash and was killed Edward R Dickinson Denver fell four stories to his death when he grabbed for a paper which had blown from his hand Sophie Antos Chicago was seriously injured when she fell three shoes aioiiiiiniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii" come the following: -- ki through he landed in a neighbor's yard barely missing a concrete wall He was not seriously injured From National Safety Council reports was struck by lightning while playing golf an Chicago but Doctors ascribed his lived to tell about it survival to the fact that he had an iron in his hand and metal spikes on his shoes which grounded the electrical discharge The soles of his feet however were badly burned Mrs Laura A Simmons Washington D C saw a lightning bolt strike her bed leap over her play havoc on the dresser top and then She was uninjured but her matdisappear tress was set on fire Fate gave the raspberry to Joe Patti MilHe lost control of his waukee truck driver vehide hit a light pole and his truck rolled Patti went over with it but came up over His cargo consisted of raspberries — smiling millions of them— and they were nice and soft and squishy to fall in But was his face redl Springer Louis Kanthack 18 dreamed he was still on vacation — and dived right out of his bedroom window stories while reaching for the "funnies" thrown by the carrier to the porch next door ESCAPES O A traffic accident victim in progressed rapidly from death to life An ambulance brought him to the hospital and the attendant pronounced him dead A nurse found a slight pulse A doctor said he was in a critical condition with a fractured skulL An hour later the nurse went to his room but he had disappeared and hasn't been seen there since A speeding passenger train with eight coaches passed over Thomas E Reed 75 Indianapolis but that fortunate old gentleman was not even scratched His coat was slightly torn and he was considerably disturbed after the ordeal because he could not find his hat A Boston man was struck by a streetcar and hurled 1 5 feet into the air He landed on the top of a passing automobile and fell into the He had a few scratches that's alL street A bolt of lightning tore the rompers off young John Delilley Gallipolis O but scarcely injured him The house in which he was playing 1 Fred was considerably damaged jlOopyrlght 1935 ty Everyv7ek Llagaziael however illlllllllllllllllOllllllllllllllll- i'- Olympic swimmer Peter Doelger West JUST FUNNY Mass had a long mustache an ax a docat and some wood to chop Turning up tor's office to have a gash in his leg treated he said the ax handle had caught in his mustache He went from the doctor's office directly to the barbershop Dr H M Henrickson Poplar Bluff Mo d reports that he treated the most absent-minde- man in the world A Stoddard county fanner he says got his match and jackknife mixed He stopped whittling fumbled for a match to light his pipe shifted his position then swiped the knife across the back of his right leg Matches and a pocketknife combined in a different manner to cause trouble for Jimmi truck loaded with bananas bounded craz- Ala street and fly down a Montgomery curb "Who do you a to a came stop against think you are? bellowed an officer to K L "Feels like I've got Hathaway the driver ants in my pants" Hathaway answered fidgeting The patrolman "operated" on the driver's pants and out dropped a big tarantula A FARMER TOM DAVIS his mule of Piggott The mule feeding his foot The dog bit the on dog's stepped kicked mule at the dog missed mule The In Chicago' and hit Davis breaking his leg kick a mule paid with his life for an He aimed at his master Rocco Urgo but Roc-c-o dodged and the animal's foot became entangled with the spare tire of a passing automobile and he was dragged to his death County Commissioner Q Y Bird of Delray Beach Fla was bitten by a dead fish He catch was holding the mouth of the 400-poun- d open so a photographer could tace some pictures and the large jaws suddenly clamped William Ehlen 'Kenton Fla was down kicked by a dead horse He was loading the carcass into a truck when a muscular reflex action caused the foot to spring back and send the full force of the kick into Ehlen's face Just the other day the papers told how William Brown CCC worker in Idaho sneezed so hard he dislocated his shoulder He was taken to a hospital for repairs: but just as they were going to put him under ether to set his shoulder he sneezed again— and the bone snapped back into place -- iiiiiiiiiiiiiniyiiM ill-tim- ed nin |