Show Here is Ike poignant story of a mother who learned the hard It is easy I know to indulge and overprotect our children even when they are healthy and normal It takes great strength and courage not to spoil the handicapped child— though we realize the spoiling adds to his handicap I write from experience for Jane our only child was bom a spastic paralytic Looking back over more than three decades I can see that had it not been for her even temperament and compliant nature she would have been a little demon Even so she was something of a tyrant An incident that occurred when she was 5 years old illustrates this As usual I had put her to bed and stayed in her room until she fell asleep Sleep brought an end temporarily to her difficult struggle to walk and talk I still remember the delicately pink mouth relaxed and moist — the fair hair framing the small peaceful face Tins particular evening my husband and I were to attend a dinner that was important to his business Henry is a 6 Family Weekly Magazine July 22 IS5S wholesale grocer in a Midwestern city Just as we were leaving we heard a noise in the upper hall We looked up There was tiny Jane making her slow halting way toward the stairs I ran up the stairs and picked her up and comforted her I wanted to stay until she fell asleep again but Henry insisted we leave her with Nellie her nurse so we would not be late Jane began crying when Nellie took her from my arms Reluctantly I left her and joined Henry Later Nellie told me Jane cried for almost two hours And the next day she would hardly cat I never let it happen again Henry and I did go out occasionally but I was always sure that Nellie was in the room with Jane I couldn’t bear to think of the tiny crippled mite crying while we were out having a good time As a matter of fact I couldn’t bear to have her cry for any reason so I indulged her every wish and taught her nothing of discipline Except for an occa- - Don’t Add to 3 ij r Ohi" is HAN D OAR 1 by Agnes Carter sional mild protest Henry condoned my actions When Jane was 6 we sent her to a private day school for girls The children there for the most part really were young ladies as the school boasted Jane never knew any of the teasing that is often the handicapped child’s lot Maturity came slowly to her Adolescence the heartbreaking time for most handicapped children came and passed with little disturbance At 18 without ever having been denied anything she wanted without ever having had any responsibility or any knowledge of real life she left home for the first time to enroll in the state university No wonder she wasn’t prepared for falling in love She fell in love with Joe He was an average sort of person — not bad certainly but not mature enough to cope with Jane Henry and I tried to talk to Jane but she wouldn’t listen Love was a miracle she said and they were in love! And so they were married Jane was radiantly happy for a few months then she became silent and withdrawn She said nothing but later I pieced together the story Briefly it was this: She expected Joe to indulge her whims as Henry and I had done It never occurred to her that she was selfish and domineering and that he resented her demands His growing resentment she reasoned was due to her handicap so she became bitter The marriage dragged on for three years Then Jane divorced him and came home But she was not the girl who had left us She was a bitter unhappy young woman hiding her hurt with cynicism I didn’t know how to help her — or cope with her She solved that problem by announcing almost defiantly one evening that she was going to Taos New Mexico— alone — to study art |