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Show 44ifjfi I -- s Safe sex carries consequences When is 'disclosure' appropriate, necessary? v Kevin Packer Contributing Writer Some of the material in this column may be suitable for mature audiences only. discretion is advised. Reader My boyfriend, when I tested positive, stayed about two years after my diagnosis. He left for reasons mosdy, he told me, not related to my status. After the mourning period I found the terrain of the dating scene had changed dramatically. Disclosing to anyone I might have sex with was never a question, Dont do unto others what happened to me. Being a very monogamous guy, dating is my style. Each date is a potential life partner, Being positive is a road block, however. In Salt Lake AIDS still carries a stigma. Like the board of education and Republican legislators, most gay men here just dont want to educate themselves. Often I feel like a pariah. Even family members prefer not to talk (or think) about my condition. When is it best to disclose? Informing before a date often means the date wont happen. To keep my anonymity safe I only wanted to tell people I trusted. And no sex with anyone unless I disclose. Period. To protect my heart and privacy I chose to see if the guy seemed like a potential life partner before disclosing. A few men gave me a try. One even moved in with me but after 18 months broke up with me explaining he couldnt bear the thought of losing me (plus, he needed to move to Los Angeles apparently). Some men would be very angry if they were not told up front. Everyone knows you cant get HIV from kissing, right? One stand out event was a man I had been seeing literally screamed at me after I told him about my condition. Our third date was coming to an end, and as we walked through his front door, he started pulling my clothes off so I was forced to come clean. He yelled for ten minutes because I hadnt told him before we kissed on our first and second dates! That devastating experience stopped me from dating altogether for several months. My health is great, leaving no visible signs of HIV. The reactions to my disease confuse me. Every one of the men Ive dated told me, if not number one, the disease was definitely one of the reasons they ended things. little available, intimacy Having sometimes I turn to hooking up or trying to find men for sex. Both in the bars and on the internet I learned disclosure equals rejection almost 100 percent of the time, All the way up to me volunteering my status (few directly ask) most are willing to take me home after a few words. Disclosing causes a cartoon like spinning of -- .. their feet as they run away. I suspect keeping my secret would return good results, Several men I know lie about their status to get sex. All of the gay chat or dating sites have an area where you can announce your HIV status. Checking the positive box gives me few hits. If I check ask me then I get more interest but the conversation slows and finally disappears after disclosing. It astonishes me men will have sex with me if I omit my status. Im so tired of educating people that I check the positive box now. In the last column I mentioned a boyfriend who thought he gave me the virus. He and his partner of years decided to explore having kids through surrogacy a few years ago. The required testing for all diseases came back to him as negative for HIV. So who gave me the virus? Was it boyfriend number one or one of the two men I had safe sex with in between him and my next boyfriend? Why me? Yeah, that runs through my soundtrack every once in a while. If it wasnt my first, cheating boyfriend, then it was one other tryst. Either way, I was stupid for trusting them, Reader cptcsihtis areyouwritk. Whats the - for Kevin thi-- C s cA 15-pl- us New classes, competitive intramurals, group exercise, personal training available at little to no cost active alternatives Health and Wellness Athletic Center offers students, community to stress Swim class. Stusek said its for both people Kendra Black StaffWriter From the stress of homework, studies and work, students may often experience a downfall in their physical health. Intramural sports and other programs offered by the Health, Wellness and Athletic Center (HWAC) gives students the opportunity to be active and to take a break from academic stresses. HWAC has intramural sports, group education exercise classes, continuing classes and personal training available for a fee, or in some cases, free. I?:' Intramural sports can run anywhere from a couple weeks to a couple months. Last year, Laura Stusek, assistant director of fitness, wellness and recreation, took over the intramural sports league program and gave it a formal twist, packing it with more schedules and referees. I think more students would participate in intramurals if they knew how easy it was to join, Stusek said. All you have to do is pick up a flyer and turn it in by the deadline. Leagues include: Inner-tub- e Water Polo Flag Football Basketball Ultimate Frisbee Table Tennis Volleyball Intramural Supervisor and Referee Aaron Trodahl said basketball is the most intense of all the intramural sports offered. He said volleyball and flag football are among the more popular. Intramurals are a good way to keep active and pass the time. He also said, If you played sports in high school and youre not playing for college, intramurals are a fun way to keep playing competitively. Students can also participate in the Griffin Cup, which is a competition between residence halls. Students from each residence hall set up teams for each sport and compete against other residence halls. Standings are based on a point system. The winners get the Griffin Cup title and everyone gets a free Aside from intramurals, HWAC has introduced new continuing education classes including Beginning Scuba Diving and Tai Chi. Stusek said, Its the first chance weve ever had for people outside the Westminster community to participate in our programs. She said in the past the programs have been limited to faculty, staff and students. The Beginning Scuba class is anticipated to be taught by Dive Utah. According to Westminsters website, the class mil teach students how to scuba dive and complete the Professional Association of Diving Instructors (PADI) open water dive certification. The Tai Chi class will be held at Westminster in the Payne studio and will involve the learning of the Yang Short Form of exercising the mind and practicing meditation. .. -- h Pilates, Yoga, Zumba, Cycling and many other group exercise classes are available for free at the HWAC building. HWAC has added two new classes to their list of group exercises: Turbo Kick and Swam Workout. Turbo Kick, taught by Ashlee Wagner, work out involving is a cardio-vascul- ar different styles of kickboxing. Stusek said the workout is doable for those in their fifties but also challenging for those around 18. She also said kickboxing has become a newer fad in the fitness world and turbo kick is the latest craze since Zumba. Swim workout is taught by the life guarding staff and is less intense than the Master who already are swimmers and for those who want to get better at swimming. HWAC also has personal trainers to help individuals meet their fitness goals. Whats unique about Stusek said, Westminster is that all of our trainers are Westminster students and have national certification. She also adds that patrons pay half to a third less as what a private trainer at a larger gym would charge. Trodahl said the point of a personal trainer is to meet someone where they are at physically and make improvements from there. Stusek said, Our trainers are really top notch, inspiring people. Another Intramural Supervisor and Referee, Brenna Riggers, said plenty of times shell see people start training that rarely visited the gym and later became regular visitors because the personal trainers were so good. So if youre ready to take a stab at those pesky freshmen fifteen or just want to have a little fun, get involved with an intramural sport, a group exercise class, or take advantage of the personal training program. HWAC has several resources for maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Stusek said, We have so much going on here between our outdoor trips t and$ intramurals . . . N ever a dull moment. j j j |