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Show The Forum Page 2 CBMN Wednesday Senior Art Exhibit 10 a.m. - 4 p.m. in Jewett Conservatory Senior April 16, 2003 Home Depot t Filth a Magnet for Stupidity Westminster SingersChamber Singers Concert 7:30 p.m. in Jewett Auditorium Angel Jenson DateDrawsNear Staff Writer Thursday Cecily Ellis Health Fair 9 a.m. - 4 p.m. in Payne Gym Senior Art Exhibit Political Awareness Day 12 - 3 p.m. in Tanner Plaza Forum Editor While we bomb our way through Baghdad, the SARS epidemic plagues China, and no one knows what North Koreas up to. Soothsayers messages are emblazoned across the covers of Friday tabloids, claiming these events as proof for their predictions. Health Fair Meanwhile, in our green hamlet of Westminster, I face an Armageddon of my own... graduation. In exactly 46 days, I will leave the safe regimen of academia and venture into the real world. I dont care how place glamorous this looks on MTV I dont want to Senior Art Exhibit Music Student Recital 12-- 2 p.m. in Nunemaker Place International Film Series 6 p.m. in Converse 202 Saturday Senior Art Exhibit ASWC Easter Egg Hunt 1 1 a.m. - 12:30 p.m.on the Grass between Gore and Malouf Monday Senior Art Exhibit W. J. Taylor Lecture, Business & Arts Panel Discussion 7:25 - 9 p.m. in Gore Aud. Tuesday well-groome- d, so-call- ed g Ive spent the last few weeks trying to understand why Im paralyzed with dread over an event that so many look forward to. Perhaps its the fear that I wont get a good job. Over the past six months Ive watched friends struggle to secure a job as a shuttle driver or parking lot attendant. I appreciate the schools efforts to prepare us for our postgrad trauma via seminars and panel discussions. However, in todays economy they should consider adding 1 0 Tips for Coping with Your Telemarketing Job and Hamburger Flipping for the College Grad to their degree-totin- g lineup. Last day of classes Im trying to focus on the positive side of leaving my home Senior Art Exhibit of four years. For instance, 6 p.m. - 8 p.m. Annual Spring Honors Dinner, Nunemaker Place per- be able to bump my sleep cycle up to six hours per night. Maybe Ill be able to spend weekends with my friends rather than ignoring their calls while I frantically compile The Forum. I honestly dont know what normal people do on Sunday afternoons. In reality, I think Im going to have a meltdown. Chaos has become my drug. I live for days so busy I forget to eat. How am I going to cope without three essays, two midterms and a meeting, all before noon? The urge to be busy is in my blood. I only hope to find an outlet for my madness that will tide me over until I can return to the haven of education. haps I will Home Depots latest ad campaign claims that it is a vast library of knowledge, I beg to differ. An orange warehouse full of people who emulate their NASCAR driver Tony Stewarts pride and cockiness just makes me laugh. shift at Home Depot I someAfter working an eight-hotimes wonder if a logical thought has ever been expressed there. I havent figured out the science of it, but I believe there is an invisible vacuum that is placed outside the huge ENTER automatic sliding door. This vacuum is responsible for sucking out thought and rational behavior. (For those that enter through the EXIT sliding door, the logic wasnt there to be sucked out.) People, customers and employees, dont think clearly once inside. I spend a lot of time in various Home Depots because I am one of their vendors. My job description in a nutshell I supply their screws. Everyday I look forward to going into work because I never know what adventure awaits me, but whatever it is, I know it will be humorous. Ive learned to be lighthearted while working. Being a young female, Ive heard my share of bad pick-u-p lines, but when they come from lost, illogical men, I just have to laugh. The most classic line that I get is of course, Hey baby, I need a screw; to which I have my usual smartass comebacks which usually entail something about nuts or if they, want to get nailed to go down the next aisle. Occasionally, I will get a cute, though thoughtless boy, asking me for a screw which in that case Ill stop and help them by asking them, How would you like that? Coarse or fine? For some, illiteracy follows being illogical. The big sign on front of the door stating that no pets are allowed is ignored. In fact, I dont consider the day complete until Ive seen at least two dogs wandering the store. Ironically it is rarely big, tough dogs that come in. Instead, it is buff and dirty construction workers who bring their poodles and Chihuahuas. These people must realize they will lose their logic upon entering, so they bring their dog for a second opinion on what size drill bit to buy. My advice is not to take anything serious once youve entered the logic vortex. Just look at the sign above the pantries that says, Space Saving Panties, and laugh. Dont get too involved in the Is golf a sport? argument that is always going on inside. Learn to love shopping at Home Depot by finding the humor. And above all, dont become impatient with the information that you get from an unsound c vast library of knowledge. ur The Forum welcomes your opinions, SUGGESTIONS, AND OTHER SUCH MUSINGS. TO CONTACT US, WRITE TO: The Forum , Westminster College 1840 S. 1300 E. Salt Lake City, UT 84105 . or - forumwestminstercollege.edu efliJ if |