Show t HUMOR to tie be good Is noble says mark twain but to teach others how to be good Is nobler and no trouble that ls Is true rue altruism according to the general practice J 0 0 1 I see that an iowa woman claims to have visited what nonsense 1 I dont know about that she says she found it full of politicians cleveland plain dealer w some years ago in the days when the psalms were read in the church ot of england a service was being held in a country parish in south devon the parish clerk was slightly deaf from reading desk the rector could see into an orchard adjoining the churchyard ile he had come to the end of one of the psalms when instead of saying glory be to the father etc lie he spoke as follows farmer thompson I 1 think it Is only right to let you know that there are boys in your orchard stealing the apples 0 mr mcdonald who bolls boils lobsters on portland pier being short of help hired an irishman who was not doing anything and told him to go down on the lobster car and dip up some lobsters and send them up after waiting some time he looked down and saw pat dipping out the lobsters and throwing them overboard ile he exclaimed what are you doing that for sure the things are all green said pat boston herald to show how implicitly people of a generation ago trusted in the farmers almanac the following story was told by old dr hunt who for many years faithfully served the townspeople of weston mass one of his patients had departed this life leaving a sorrowing spouse whom dr hunt tried to comfort com rort in the course of making the burial arrangements range ments lie he asked when she desired to have the funeral walt wait doctor said she owe must have it on a pleasant day she hurriedly ried ly searched the almanac and the day dayrus was set rk VV ast L practice slakes makes perfect miss bret hart with the aid of a number of her fathers english friends has opened a typewriting office in london she is a proficient typewriter and an american journalist calling to have some copying done complimented hr her on her skill my skill such as it is is due to practice said miss bret hart it was acquired very painfully ilk like e the he marksmanship mark manship of one of my fathers western friends I 1 my father used to tell 0 of f a 1 I tan man called redwood james a character ot of california james in a bar one night drew a revolver and shot the ashes from a cigar of a friend on the other side of the room the friend laughed and calmly drank off the remainder of his bis cocktail my father said to redwood james that must have required considerable p practice rac tice practice eP redwood replied should say so young man I 1 guess I 1 sailed moren three dozen a learnan that there trick if ar 0 appearing green senator beveridge was talking oare one afternoon in washington to a group of newly elected congressmen you boys he said must on no account appear green keep keel cool go slow think before you speak then i you wont give yourself away the unripe congressmen congre simen laughed and senator beveridge continued 1 I should hate hale to hear that one ofie of you had acted as a new southern congressman once did he as soon as he reached jacb ington wen went t oft off to a photographers to be photographed 1 I want my likeness talen taken lie he said cabinet the photographer asked the southerners reddened and looked pleased no he answered just a plain everyday congressman 0 4 e advice discounted senator burrows was asked tor for ad vice recently by a newspaper correspondent pon dent he gave the advice but afterward smiling smiling and shaking his he head headge adhe be said advice Is a thing I 1 am always chary about extending it is Is you know so cheap so easy A boy the other day was pushing a heavy push cart cant up a hill the hill was steep the boy thin ile he bent forward at the work till he was a almost horizontal HI boy called an old man push the cart up tle the hill zigzag torn foul side to s side and find it will go easier the boy snarled back not so much oscr darn advice give us a shove 0 they did not have to A family who had bad struggled the best part of a lifetime in a poverty stricken portion of the city suddenly came into a small income with the prospect in a few years of something more says the boston post their long crushed aspirations revived revive dand and the woman of the family especially began to assume various airs and artificialities they moved to a little place in the country count fy and tried mightily to impress their neighbors with their importance they talked constantly of what people in our position sho uld and should not do some of their acquaintances came out to visit them during tile the I 1 summer and one of the younger members of the family a little girl of 7 or 8 was showing them about the place what nice chickens exclaimed one of the guests when they reached the poultry yard they lay steadily too I 1 suppose yes returned the youthful hostess who really lenew knew nothing at all I 1 about it that is they could of course but in our position they they dont have to |