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Show THE SAN JUAN RECORD Wednesday, November 3, 2004 - Page 20 n Vacation-Wif- e The other day a friend came over with his young kids. His kids are younger than mine so sometimes he asks me advice about kids, which is hilarious since I really dont know much about raising kids. I raised a dog once and he lived. I remember when we older, it has been amusing to witness in my friend, the g stages of that I went through. It is so though I have to be honest, I didnt have any kids and some friend of mine with terrorized our house, I had four or five theories on how to raise kids which I eagerly shared. Now that I have four kids, I dont have any theories. .Now that I am Al- almost killed him with carbon monoxide poisoning. He has been am not saying to abandon your kids at grandmas every weekend, but vacation-wif- e will bring back fond memories I baby-raisin- much easier and funvery passive after by Gary Torres nier to see these that little procedure. stages in others. Parenthood I would be remiss to recomchanges with each child. And mend it to pet owners, but it the more children you have, the less particular you become has made him a well manI know if it about what they eat, do, or nered dog. dont would work for kids. where they go. I One well intentioned couple Anyway, know kids dont has never spent a single night come with an owners manual. You would think they would, without their three kids in seven years. I am just here to since they are the most expentell you take your wife away sive thing you ever purchase. I wish they did come with an from kids for a few days and owners manual, but unfortuyou will discover a new for woman. I fondly refer to her one worked nately, what It makes child, doesnt even work for as vacation-wifanother child, except there are you remember why you married her in the first place. exceptions. before you were kicked awake several times a night by a childs foot or finding yourself curled up on the floor and four kids snuggled in with their mom on your side of the bed. With our first child we were so excited to have a baby that often we would tell the neighbors that we were expecting. For young, eager couples, this means they are trying their best but there has been no official word from the doc- tor yet. You pretty much start wearing maternity clothes the night after conception or if there is hint of the right color in those self pregnancy tests. If your OBGYN confirms your pregnancy you start calling relatives. Mom my doctor says I am two weeks along. From then on all time is measured in weeks and AD and BC means after doctor and before By the time you have your fourth child, which will be nine months after you and vacatiogo away for a week- n-wife you will be the end first to know she is expecting because she will come in the room and smack you in the forehead and say, You idiot! What were you this time her maternity clothes are her husbands pant and shirts. thinking? By With your first baby, when it is time to name your child you discuss potential names with neighbors and relatives until they start avoiding you. Sometimes you practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites. Usually, this is best done with other pregnant women at parties. While you are putting pictures of in babys first picture book you can have earnest and lengthy conversations about how to spell Nikki, Niki, Nicky, Nikey, or NicKEe. By the time you have your fourth child, you are content to use anything possible for inspiration for a name. If you see scrap-bookin- g ultra- -sounds vanity plates driving by, you may use it for inspiration, Yes, Bimaldo is perfect! For your first baby you go to class and practice breathing with your partner. The husband cannot go out of the house except to work after the first trimester. By the time you have your fourth child, you go to your doctor and ask for an epidural for you and your spouse - in the eighth month. The husband is usually hunting when the delivery takes place. With the first child if they so much as frown, whimper, pass a gas bubble, gurgle, sneeze, goo, or otherwise produce any bodily function noise you quickly pick the child up and call their grandmother or pediatrician to ask for advice. By the time you have your fourth child, you teach your three year old how to wind up the mechanical swing, clean the babys pacifier which the dog was chewing on by licking it, and to tape it into babys mouth while you quickly run to the store. e. jftoni 70 at tlje years ago 60 years ago to bore the Blanding tunnel is approved by a Digging up money Helen Redshaw reports that meeting of the men of the town. H.U. Butt and son complete a very large cellar, 24 x 63 feet. years ago northeast of Ben Askew is manager of the new Monticello Bluff school enrollLumber Co., formerly Foy Lumber Co. O.O. Thomas from Saudi Arabia travels ment is 18 students. to miles a on Elk Mountain. deer 12,000 get A five pound potato is raised by R.O. Coleman Monticello. 40 years ago San Juan County will sell by seal bid numerous vehicles and equipment from the Monticello and Blanding Road Sheds. A list of the items is available at the following locations: Monticello Road Office, Blanding Road Office, Monticello Library, Blanding Library. San Juan County Clerk's Office, the San Juan County Administrators Office and on the San Juan Countys website at www.sanjuancounty.org. Additional items for bid will be added to the countys website, so please go back to the website during the open bid time. Due to insurance requirements, you will Inspection is available from 8:00 to 5:00 Monday-Thursdanot be allowed to drive the vehicles or the equipment. Submit your bid on the form on the bottom of the bid notice that is available at the locations stated above. Bids need to be received by the Office of the San Juan County Administrator by November 5, 2004 at 2:00 pm to the following address: 117 South Main Street, Office 201 Post Office Box 9 Monticello, Utah 84535-000- 9 Bids received after this date and time will not be accepted. Bids need to be received in envelopes that are sealed and marked EQUIPMENT BID on the outside of the envelope. No faxes or emails will be accepted. San Juan County reserves the right to reject any and all bids. San Juan County sells the vehicles and equipment as is, with no warranty implied either verbally or written. The high bidder will be contacted. The high bidder will have five (5) days from notification to pay for the item and remove the item from County property. Payment must be made in certified funds, for example, cash, money orders, cashiers check or check with certified bank approval. No exceptions will be made. If the item is not paid for and removed wdthin the five day period, the next highest bidder d will be notified. Buyers purchasing vehicles and equipment will be required to pay required in the bid sales tax addition to price. non-title- Ron Slavin wins the Big Buck Contest with a h spread. Arah Corbin got a deer without hunting when it ran into her Monticello library survives the battering of a car in town. y Alice Lovell takes the examination to betruck. come a citizen of the United States. 31-inc- BID ITEM NUMBER: BID AMOUNT: run-a-wa- I I 30 years ago The 5 cut through y A truck went wrong in Bluff, pulling ceremonies. down a power and light pole and festooning power lines across Mr. & Mrs. Parley Hurst enjoy apples and the highway. apple blossoms at the same time from their Winter Banana The Atomic Energy Commission plans to clean Apple tree. up the old mill site. Rite-Wa- 20 years ago Monument Valley Cougar boys team takes first place at the Marieta Scott of San Juan High state cross country meet. state champiSchool wins first place in the girls School team, girls onship. The Monticello High led by Kasey Shiew, claims their third state championship. cross-countr- y cross-countr- y 10 years ago NAME: MAILING ADDRESS: Comb Ridge is the scene of dedication U-9- gill y. The sheriff raids and razes a still in the Cedar Point area. It has apparently been doing a flourishing business as there is a San Juan County Republiwell beaten path to the building. can candidates have unlimbered their guns in a series of rapid fire rallies covering the county. They have attacked La Sal, Summit Point, and Lockerby, and will direct their fire at Bluff, bombard Monticello, and attempt to capture Blanding. 50 am difflaai 8 A contract between Indian Health Services and the Health District takes effect after two years of negotiations. San Juan Health Care will begin managing the Montezuma Creek clinic. Dr. Val Jones of Blanding has expressed interest in being the Conprimary care provider at the Montezuma Creek Clinic. champions. Each of the gratulations to the state cross-countr- y four county high schools won championships. I I TELEPHONE NO. WHERE NOTIFICATION CAN BE MADE: |