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Show THE SAN JUAN RECORD Wednesday, November 25, 1998 - Page 8 shell for the man who had once created warmth and goodwill by his mere presence. Ever selfless and practical, Grandma soon set about the Pillars of Strength It was thirteen years ago this month that Grandpa Barton died, just two days before Grandmas birthday. Sometimes its easier to accept death than other times. For the very old, or the infirm, death may seem like a friend who comes out of compassion, gently taking hold of ones hand and mercifully leading them into a better world. When my husbands mother died, it was an answer to prayer. What started as breast cancer spread throughout her body. In the last months they could not take her blood pressure, or lift her limbs to bathe her without breaking a bone. Among the family members who preceded her in death was a great grandson. A cherubic toddler with curly hair, he ran after his daddy one day, as the young father climbed into his pickup. Unaware of his sons presence, the father unknowingly backed over him. At times like this death seems like a callous thief, cruelly ripping at the hearts of those who would stand in the he way, leaving horror in his wake. Grandpas death was un- expected. Freshly showered and shaven, he greeted his wife and her mother that crisp November morning, then sat down on the living room couch, and with a barely perceptible nod he bid them farewell. His departure was painless and dignified. I recognized and appreciated the blessings of such a passage, but still I mourned deeply for myself. In the support system of my life my two grandfathers were cornerstones. I had lost the one three years earlier, and now I was totally bereft. When I saw Grandpa in his casket I covered his hand with mine and silently begged him not to leave me, not to take away the unconditional love and approval that had meant so much to me all of my life. His hand was cold and stiff, his lifeless form simply the business of giving away Grandpas possessions. She asked if there was something special anyone wanted. There was something I wished for, but I did not want to ask until everyone else had taken their turn. Grandpas truck went to his son, his coin collection to a grandson, his tools and clothes distributed to those who could use them. It was years later, when Grandma put her Mesa, Arizona home up for sale and was preparing to move to an apartment in Utah Valley that I dared make my request. Could I please have one of the wind chimes Grandpa had made, I asked. Now that Grandma was moving she might not have a place to hang it. The wind chime was hand delivered by an aunt. It was neither dainty nor beautiful. Various lengths of cut pipe hung from rusted wires, which were connected to an aluminum circle discarded from some other project. A rusted tin clapper, cut from a gallon can, hung from the middle. I asked my husband to attach it to the eaves outside my kitchen window, so I could see it every day, and hear it when the wind kicked up enough of a fuss to move the large clapper. As happy as I was to have it, after a while I grew used to it and no longer paid it much attention. Several years went by, and at a time when we thought we were on the downhill side of raising our family, we suddenly found ourselves with six children under seven years of age, three of them adopted. One of the girls came to us just before her fourth birthday. She had lived in eight different homes in her short life. Some said she suffered from post traumatic stress disorder, some said she suffered with an attachment disorder. The diagnosis didnt really matter. She suffered. And we suffered along with her in more ways than one. And then one day I completely lost patience with her. I was tired of her constant need of attention, her whining and screamed ultimatums, her shadowing me as I moved from room to room, her hanging onto me as I stood. We were in the kitchen and was trying to prepare a meal. I could not get her out from underfoot and then something just snapped, and I lost control. I raised my hand to strike her but just then a noise caught my attention and I paused, my hand still mid-aiIt was the w ind chime - the pipes seemingly insistent in their little song. I lowered my arm and moved closer to the window. The leaves on the trees were still. There didnt seem to be a breeze at all. And yet the wind chime had called out to me, begging for attention. Grandpa had spoken to me. I was sure of it. Then, instead of hurting the little girl who had already known so much hurt, I gathered her into my arms and wept for us both. Before, I had thought of Grandpa as being a cornerstone, a pillar of strength, and I thought, how can a building stand without a support system? Sometimes, I think, we get so absorbed in our obvious physical surroundings that we tend to neglect the equally important spiritual side of our lives. Are you familiar with the words of Christina Rossetti? Who has seen the wind? Neither you nor I; But when the trees bow down their heads, the wind is passing by. Perhaps. But then again, perhaps there is just as great a force, unseen, at work each moment in all of our lives. r. will Mena specializes in family practice, with emphasis in obstetrics, pediatrics, surgery and sports medicine Dr. pm Preferred provider for: PEHP Blue Cross Blue Shield CHIPS Educator's Mutual Medicare Medicaid an appointment call San Juan Hospital at For 435-587-21- 16 Complete Insured or Custom-Installe- d Guaranteed 81 8 970-565- -1 Standing or 678-278- 1 FREE ESTIMATES Payment plans 2 Machines - Faster Service 025 970-749- -1 Monticello 587.2302 SAN JUAN PHARMACY BOOKCASE STEREO TURNTABLE, AMFM, CASSETTE $49.99 New Kim '..iff n shipment Anderson 1 SfLi Kim, IndiousonZ- - New order TENDER HEART Wooden Shelves 20 off ivrpiriOiiirsnivgiiiMiuEDitanai Cordless Phone - $39.99 w answering machine be working with the working in our Monticello office. We are happy to welcome her to our staff. Tanya Richey, F.M.P. -5 Seamless 5 Aluminum Gutter Member NHBA beginning November 2, 1998 She will have an office in Blanding at the first of the year. Until that time she will be Robert Mena, M.D. Open Mon., Wed., Thurs., Fri. 9 am Tuesday Noon - 7 pm BLANDING MONTICELLO MONTICELLO CLINIC - Offering complete family health care located at San Juan Hospital 1 CORTEZ MICHELLE LYMAN. P.A. SAN JUAN FAMILY CLINIC I SOUTHWEST I r i 264 S. 1ST V E. MONTICELLO 435-587-22- 82 J |