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Show INE ! )C T $ alt faltt Stibium sms SALT LAKE CITY, SUNDAY MORNING, OCTOBER 17, 1920. 3 MAIDEN MEDITATIONS THROUGH THE AGES. Petromus, the Connoisseur, High hatting, once, the kingly Nero, Tore off a speil that any skirt May not dismiss as talk thats zero. This arbiter er whats the rest ? Mayhap twas elegantiarum Wet blanketed a royal feast harem (Called Neros party scarem ) And Nero took, as others must, Before our skimpy styles are done, Wise Petros tip: "A thousand maids So naked make less stir than one. AN ILL WIND. THE RADICAL. Though blondes get all the breaks in lady's luck, For inen prefer them (blondes themselves have said). Weve spiked their guns at last and cleverly. Its chic, this fall, to wear the deepest red. mmL Now walnut stain should better sell than bleach, There'll be a price on every golden head, The seasons modes are stained in blood and wine, 11 in the new red. And blondes will look like fCopyrlfbt THE OTHER DAY 'pill.intoother t ho r i 9" (5 By The want to - ike a tr p Mir df si 1 hone' moon then, Oh. he said tripl Wh.it ou, kind f ea.d v I replied onr w ife ? ' he nske I replied That will make two, then, 1 he I replied, f hope so, but what difference does it moke? he re It doesn t make an', Those are Just standard plied Now for the morp inti questions. mate details He reached tinder the counter and pulled out a circular Have vou thought about Niaga ra Fells? he asked Not since I was 11 sears old, 1 replied How oil are jou now? he asked I one, replied Going Thirtj ' a w what do we do, T asked, after w get to the Mammoth Care! And vou h What do said I replied and sories, Books, and newspaper articles W hat 's vour name ? he asked. I re Donald Ogden Stewart, plied, a little modest . He shook his head I N e never heard of jou, h said, and he called another emploiee over to him Did sou e'er hear of a writer named what was it? 'he assed Donald Ogien Vewarf,' I re plied. The other man shook his head. Ma'be he writes under some Mav-b- e he s iggested other name. he a a woman like George ' Idiot. I'm not a woman.'- I announced, - a little peevihlv ' There hs'e been some erv fine women said the second emplo'ee, a slight tone of rebuke m his ' oiee I won't have anv one s'andering mv sister ' not slandering soir sister, Im simplv trung to f.nd out where to go on mv hone'moon Have vou thought atiout Ni helaskef agars Falls? I replied, and the Mam Yes, moth Cave and Old Faithful How about the Grand ( anvon? he asked. Whats it like? he rapped It s indescribab'e. Th reaching for a circular folder will gne you a complete de script ion, I g'aneed through the booklet I hardly think it would do for a I aai bonesmoon, He' a bit difficult, isnt he? aai I the f.rst employee to the yee I m I said. first clerk, and had a beard. hat did grandmother do at the trmd Cans on on her ? I hones moon asked The first clerk giggled and the second clerk frowned he This is a Trasel bureau, said, "and I wish that sou would h. as treat it sui I agreed, All right, only we don 't seem to be getting ans where. ' Perhups, suggeated tile first sou would be interested emilosee, I in nrope. "There s an idea. I exclaimed, What part of Europe? Both clerks simultaneously The second reached for circulars. clerk won he and. fwe base our Here, No. 11 De Luxe Tour, he looked at the folder, covering Fontainbleau, the Tomb of Tnt Ankh Amen, and the Dickens eountrs "That a quite a lot of terntors, I commented. It onlv takes two weeks " he re because Professor tlark de plied, this cided to onnt Fontainbleau 'ear and the Tomb of Tut it closed." That leases the Dickens eoun I dont think I I said trv, would care to spend two weeks going through that Professor Clark rarelv gets be said the vond the first ts'ern. clerk, and then he added, vou know the one where Da' id Copperfie'd stbpped to get a gloss of sle That sounds like a er' inter but how esting tour, I remarked, about mv wife? Her is a splendid opportunity to visit the Holv Land, "j said the in the company of the other clerk, Rev Albert P. McCnllom and twen-tfive vonng ladies selected from a Reautv f ontest conducted bv the Los Angc'es Tribune ten weeks eight hundred dollars W ell, w Ankh-Anie- Is Mra. McCullom going along? The clerk looked through the circular. he replied, It doesnt say, but the tour include! meals. Biblical research and eight sights m I asked Pans How about Rome? asked the other clerk, while I was still hes- itating "Rome, Italy? I asked. The he replied. Precisely, seat of modern civilization The Tb aeene home of the Catacombs. The of the Christian martyrdoms. burial place of hundred of perseRome and die. cuted people. See On mv honevmoon? I asked, a little doubtfully. aeked tha first Florence? clerk. I I replied. No, Beatrice, don't think she would like Bom." Naples! suggeated th other, The remain or Mount etuvius. Our O Sola Mao tour Pompei. co' era all that seventeen daw twelve hundred dollars, including two mandolins and a guitar. No me (Copyright, 1928, bv the Chicago Tribune) ond Very, replied the other Why don't sou think it would do for a honevmoon?'' Well I began, it eeem a lltt'e un.nterestmg It wae good enough for my intergrandfather a bonesmoon, rupted the second empdoree But I'm not tnaprjing your The Other there Well, he replied, the blind fish The what? I asked The blind fish, re replied. are aai Where? I asked. In the Mammoth 1. I laughed. Caye, Mem Shook he llis Head. Thia it a honeymoon, I said. SnurhI the better, he replied but you cant argued, look, at fish all day. "ew fh, cant yon? No. VI bare to, he t Yea, but you he eaid. eaid. aren't on I ohierteg" grandmother. Hare yon any obieetions to mv he sake, with a grandmother? glare How fan I? I asked. I don't know her from Mam. A lam w th taller, said tb your 1 . la th company of th , Venich? Mosquitoes Honolulu? Ukuleles London? The English. A whistle blew. Both clerk simultaneously begaa folding up tha circulars and putting them back beneath the counter. the Five thirtv, explained other But I havent found out yet, I began We open at nine, Interrupted the other, and with that they left 1 'hut alike." riter ' A writer,' sou write? on 32 Going on 32, he repeated He bandpd me the circular That will tell sou all about N1 he said. agar Tails, I looked at the circular Laze Pass and Nights in the Mammoth Cave, it read I think there must be some mis take. I said, and handed him back the folder there has been he said, Yes, a mistake That s pretty decent of von to admit it, I said Not at all, he replied Onr company's police is, the customer is always right I ar Oh, I wouldn't ssv that, Im wrong lots of times. jpmd Yes, ha said, I should imag Ine that ton were. That's neither here nor there, I came in here tb find I replied. Out shout a trip What kind of a trip? h asked A honeymoon, ) replied. , Have you thought about Niag he asked, and he hand arm Falls? d me the tame circular. This circular is about the Mem, moth Caye, I said. Haye you thought about the Mammoth Cave? he aVed I asked In sshst connection? there are loti Well, he and. Of connection. You can leave here on the 4 32. arriving at Greenbrier That at T 50 the next morning. wiH get yon to the cave at 2 28 m In for time tea the afternoon, fust I dont drink tea,"T obiected. he eaid, glancing Well, then through tha folder, yon can go by wav of Cincinnati I asked. Cincinnati, Ohio? He turned once more tha page of the circular. he admfted, It doesn't iv. I ahoud Imagine that a?! Cinbe would cinnati' pretty much said, 1 A hoimv moon V ith es, he might trv Old Faithful I asked. Old faithful what? I don t know, he admitted out in lellowstone Park Its He searched onco more beneath the counter until he found another folder. he announced a a gev ser. 1 asked. A what ? He showed me the word I asked. What s it do? He read further It shoots out hot water, he ex I lamed I don't want to spend mv I obhone'moon in a hithroom, jected Oh all right, You're he sail the doctor I m not a doctor, ' I said Im said to 1 Ah, color, line, and texture Delight my eyes each day, And lovely sounds my ears please (The neighbors say they may), But only on an island That miles of seas enclose May I indulge in perfumes For my neglected nose. ' "" By Donald Ogden Stewart I t Upon a private ocean Where critic neer presumes, A girl might find enchantment In marvelous perfumes. Chirro Tribune !aj linpjMPil to go officp of a Trm lm the man bchiii ' lm W here ashed m asking That s what I said a 1 i I I crave a little island. An islet far at sea, Ii) waters quite uncharted, Where no one comes to tea. Rev. Albert P, MeOullou. |