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Show April 8, 1999 , "Sf - by Dave Larsen Family Support Center A & good parent wants their child to succeed achieve their full potential in life. It's not clear, however, what we need to do to make that happen. As part of the Month of the Military Child, the Family Support Center will host on "StrengthKids in the ening Military" to show parents the resources available to help them help their children. The classes will be held April 13 and 15, noon-- 1 p.m.; sional interaction causes mental as well as social April 15 5 p.m.; and April 6:30-- 8 p.m. at the impairment in children. Family Support Center, Bldg. 308N. To register, call fcxt. The same insights and resources are also noted most kids don't get the shared at each session. need, especially when they are allowed Most parents realize kids need guidance and dis- Jensen most of their own foods. Lucky Charms cipline, but if we're too strict and controlling they might sound bright, but it's hardly a brain food. In may not learn to govern themselves when we're not fact, too much sugary food reduces a child's appetite around. Plus teens have a strong natural urge to rebel for healthier fruit and veggies and tends to deplete too controls and restrictions. On the the child's body of essential against many needed for other hand, few kids left to their own devices or allowed neurological or mental emotional well being. to do whatever they please will ever develop the wisAdditionally, research reviewed by Mark Chamdom and needed for significant achieve- berlain, PhD, of Layton, a specialist in child behavment. ior disorders, suggests that when children get their own way too much or without constraint or delays, his book "Teaching With The Brain In Mind," they develop poor impulse control, become less appreEric Jensen suggests that most children don't ciative, harder to please and less successful in school as much interaction with and guidance from and in later life. their parents as they need. Most fathers of chilOn the other hand, research in education shows dren over 4 could not recall spending more than 10 that children who develop the discipline to learn a minutes a day interacting positively with their chil- musical instrument or good study habits usually do dren. This lack of healthy involvement leaves kids much better in school and in later life. However, seldom are these skills effectively developed withmentally, socially, emotionally and morally disadout considerable encouragement and guidance from vantaged. Most parents say they want their children to get a parents. good education. They realize that reading is an essential prerequisite to doing well in school and life. Howif it's not good to be too strict or controlling, to it's also not good to give kids too much 82 ever, according Jensen's research percent of without guidance and discipline what's a parents do not actively encourage reading in the home. On the other hand, 26 percent of kids spend parent to do? Child development research sugfour or more hours an evening watching television gests that if we want our children to achieve their or playing video games. Spen'ding that much time on potential we ought to do the following: a Teach by example. Since kids learn best by exam plane rather than three-dimen- - Every mini-class- 4-- 20-2- self-discipli- helping youth be the best es 2, ne In So two-dimension- al I w ple parents need to be reading, continually learning, and striving to discipline themselves. Make a conscious effort to spend significant qualtime ity interacting with our children. With preschoolers, one of the most important things parents can do is to read to them. Children that are read to pick up reading easier and have better vocabularies. Catch children doing things right and reinforce those positive behaviors and qualities, rather than focusing primarily on the negative. There should be at least four or five positives for every negative or critical interaction we have. Share control. All kids need limits; however, within those limits children need to be given a variety of choices and a say in the matters affecting their lives. Shared control builds and helps prevent power struggles. Let them experience the consequences of their choices. That's how kids learn. It's important they learn that each choice brings a consequence some good some bad. And in order to enjoy the good life it's up to them to make wise choices. Listen to children. Most parents could be so much more effective if they just learned to withhold judgment and lectures and listened more to their children. In fact teaching kids is better accomplished through asking questions than lecturing. And how does a parent know what to say if they haven't taken time to understand the problem? Moreover research on healthy families shows they tend not to have a lot of rules, but they do talk a lot more, listen, share and explain, than do dysfunctional families. Encourage kids to develop talents and special abilities. Generally the more areas a child is competent in, the healthier and better they will some-areall have. But kids need of special achievement. By helping kids to find and develop these parents are actually innoculating their children against self-estee-m self-estee- m a future problems. These are just a few ideas parents might want to consider to help strengthen their children and help them to achieve the most out of life. For more insights and resources parents are encouraged to attend one of the mini classes at the Family Support Center. 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