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Show Fj B4 THE DAILY HERALD, Proo. Hah, Thursday. October 3. im Parents need to talk more about guns By KAREN ENGBERG Knight Ridder Newspapers was taken aback by ihe question, part of me W3s delighted that it had been asked. "Do you keep any guns in your house?" inquired the father of a boy who had come to spend the artemixHi with my son. "Guns? No. No guns in this house." I answered, half way tripping over my surprise. Polite conversation between parents, despite its abundance, often tiptoes around vital territory. W hile most have no qualms about requesting that their child wears a seat belt while travelling in someone else's car. they rarely ask about guns. It's easier to talk about toy weapons than real ones. Vet gunshot wounds are second to motor vehicle accidents as only ' a cause of fatal injury in children and rank second as the cause of accidental death among 10- - to 14- In the majority of cases, children who accidentally kill themselves or other children with a gun find the gun in their own 'Though 1 ear-old- s. "Do you keep a gun in your home?" one parent might reasonably inquire. "Yes, my husband hunts occasionally." the other parent could respond without feeling defensive. "Rest assured that it is unloaded, and locked away, separate from the ammunition." Another key to understanding why people don't talk about the firearms in their homes has to do with why a gun is present. From a recent article in American Family Physician by Pamela A. Camosy, M.D.: "Reasons most commonly cited lor ownership of handguns include protection (66 percent), collecting (25 percent), and hunting (15 percent)." Guns in the latter two categories lend themselves to being stored safely. A gun kept for protection, however, is more problematic. The story of the father w ho last year fatally shot his teen-ag- e daughter when she jumped out of a closet to surprise him is a sad illustration of the dilemma. The notion that one can be prepared for an home. Most safety conscious parents are careful to keep electrical outlets covered and poisonous cleaning agents and potentially harmful medications stored safely away from the curious hands of kids. Why is it then that with 40 percent of homes in the United States containing one or more firearms, parents don't talk to one another about guns? One factor is that gun ownership is a loaded issue, conversation about it tending to be political, not polite. Friendly parents handing off a kid for an afternoon of play are not likely to venture into an query about guns in the house. Were it possible to set aside political leanings and agree that a gun kept unloaded and locked away from children is a gun that can do no immediate harm, parental parties on both sides of at least where small the issue children are concerned could feel good about what should be a logical conversation: 'Pet owner ended up bitten twice - Dear ' Miss Manners: While walking my large dog, I passed a "neighbor's gate and his large dog 'ran out and attacked my dog. A vicious fight erupted. I was finally able to break it up by vigorously pulling my dog I.aw ay by means of the leash, but in Tihe confusion, I was bitten by the ; neighbor's dog on the hand. J":; Now I am being told by some idiot that I should have dropped the leash and let the dogs fight it out. The leash would have made Hfor an uneven fight, and might Miave caused my dog to be strangled. 'V.What do you think is the right ; thing to do? Run aw ay like a cow ard, or risk an injury to yourself in tie noble effort of trying to save Tvour dog from injury or even ' death? Gentle Reader: Miss Manners Jfonsulted her list of precedence in regard to violent situations. It said. "Women and children first," w ith a margin notation that t this w as now under vehement dispute with regard to women. A sticker had been attached ts ?wtth the notation "Check of adults-onl- y buildings for jjHisition on children." but this had Seen crossed out. Miss Manners ""decided she didn't want to hear - w hat they might say. -- w yel-3o'- resi-jJeji- DO YOU GftSSQ addressed envelope and a note stating, "Please return this as an acknow ledgment of the receipt of this gift." One example is the wedding note gift for which a thank-yo- u was enclosed a year later in the birth announcement of their child. Two weeks later, I received a letter telling me that the couple is divorcing. Other people suggest sending gifts certified, with a return receipt requested, but my "New Age RSVP" for tardy or nonexisletters would be tent thank-yo- u much less expensive and a reminder than an acknowledgment is expected. Gentle Reader: Here is what Miss Manners would consider expensive: 1. Sending presents to ingrates. Why not just save yourself the trouble and money by assuming that silence in response to a present suggests indifference at best, and cross that person off your shopping list? 2. Sending anticipatory insults to people who would have sent letter, promptly you a thank-yo- u and unprompted, but are insulted at your suggestion that they might not. Can you afford to take the chance of losing whatever polite friends you may have? It said. "Captain goes down with ship," but there were some newspaper clippings attached Judith Martin ft 33 Miss Manners which suggested otherwise. Putting one's dog's safety before one's own was not covered. It is therefore up to the individual in this situation to gauge the risks. Nevertheless, Miss Manners both agrees that you were noble and that especially now that the incident is over you should not have been bitten again, by a busybody. Dear Miss Manners: Having seldom received an acknowledgment or "thank you" for the many gifts I have sent for weddings, new babies, birthdays, anniversaries and other various and sundry events, I believe it may be time to send a stamped, self- - HM BACK intruder requires keeping a gun "handy," and a handy gun i by definition a deadly one, especially where children play. As children get older, storage of a gun in a home becomes more dangerous. Adolescents, in part due to pressure from peers to engage in behavior, have the capability to confound even the most well thought out safety arrangement. Again from Carnosy's article: "In a study of Seattle high school juniors, 34 percent of boys reported that they hai easy access to handguns. While the availability of handguns was strongly associated with problem behaviors, it was not restricted to any one socioeconomic or ethnic group." Camosy goes on to underscore the importance of an adolescent's emotional status when considering whether it is reasonable to keep a gun. "A case control study that matched adolescent suicide victims with suicide attempters and never suicidal teens yielded disturbing results. Guns were twice as likely to be found in the homes of suicide v ictims than in the homes of suicide attempters or control subjects. There was no difference in the methods of gun storage in homes among the three groups. The mere presence of a firearm appears to increase the risk of suicide ..." Despite the danger they present to children, firearms are not likely to disappear from homes any time soon. Camosy suggests that children, from an early age, be taught what to do if they ever find a gun: "Teach them to remember the following words: 'Stop! Don't touch! Go away! Tell an adult!'" Perhaps if children learn a approach to guns, adults will have an easier time addressing the subject. It's something to talk about. Mike and Thelda Vicchrilli will celebrate their golden wedding anniversary at an open house hosted by their children Saturday, Oct. 5, from 5 p.m. at the Pleasant Grove 1st, 3rd and 6th Ward LDS Church, 193 N. 600 East. Mike graduated from Murray High School and served in the Navy during World War II. He retired from Geneva Steel and served on the Pleasant Grove Planning Commission, City Council and the North Utah County Water Conservancy District. He served in cub scouting and little league. Tlieida worked at Geneva Steel during World War II and graduated from Lincoln High School. She is an excellent cook and homemaker. She served in cub scouting, PTA and positions in the LDS Church. They are the parents of Sharon 3-- WITH IK 0 Z66 V f SLEEK, H1RD DISK... ... 32 me of eoo Am mo 25fcK Of CACHE... 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She sang for school plays and church and community functions and plays the accordion. She played "honky tonk" piano in the Brooks Band. She is an active member of the LDS Church. She is the mother of six children: Beverly Evans, Grand Junction, Colo.; Ralph Brooks, Levari; Lloyd Brooks, Lehi; Norman Brooks, Lehi; Connie Grace, Lehi; and Nolan Brooks, Highland. She has 25 grandchildren and 33 greatgrandchildren. Lucille E. Lloyd Brooks will celebrate her 80th birthday at an open house Sunday. Oct. 6, from 4-- 6 p.m. at the Lehi North Stake Recreation Building, 2800 N. Center St. She was born in Riverton Oct. 4, 1916, to Thomas B. and Mary Andersen Lloyd and grew up on the family farm. She married J. Albert Brooks in June 1933 in Salt Lake City. Their marriage was solemnized a year later in the Salt Lake LDS Temple. They started their family while living in their first home in River-toIn 1937, they moved to Lehi SNUGGLE UP WITH OUM LOW DOWN PRICES! Get available. 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